Keeping or changing your last name ?

I don’t believe in changing my name to a man’s name, and I find it incredibly sexist and offensive that it’s just assumed I will because I’m a woman. It stems from terrible laws and regulations, and it’s extremely outdated to me. No one asks men this question. My identity is not less important than a man’s identity. I am not less. Too much of women’s identities have to do with our relationships to men. I could go on and on, and I have in papers. lol
A name is a huge part of someone’s identity, so changing it is a very big deal. It has to be the right decision for you and no one else. It doesn’t matter what society thinks or what people say. If you want to change it for yourself (not because it’s expected), go for it! If you don’t want to, don’t! There are also lots of middle ground options. Keep in mind that if you want kids, they can still have the same last name as you and/or your future spouse and there are ways to do that such as hyphenating theirs. You have options regardless of what you decide.

I agree with everything the previous poster above me said. I'm keeping mine because I don't agree with the historical reasons on why women had to change their last names and don't see any reason to carry on such a "tradition." Plus I love my last name and what it means to me and the family I come from.
When we went to get our marriage license the woman asked if would be taking his last name to which I said no, she then happily surprised me by asking my FH if he'd be taking MY last name. I was just so thrilled at her doing that!

I won't be changing my last name. I am a doctor and my last name is my identity.

Keeping my name. I’m in my mid 40’s, been married before and it was such a hassle to change it (and then back after the divorce). We won’t be having kids so no real need. But I won’t mind if people use his name for me - I just don’t want to deal with the paperwork.

Changing my last name. Yes my doctorate and licenses are under mine but I want to have same family name for us— to me that’s more important ... I don’t feel like you lose your identity but to each their own.

I’m changing mine. I don’t have a connection with my biological father so I’m not attached to it.

I changed mine. I thought about it a lot, and I decided that I wanted our family to have the same last name. As much as I love my dad, I have also had significant issues with him and my family on a whole for many years, so I didn't feel like I was really losing anything. His is also much easier to spell (although people still get it wrong lol). There is no right or wrong answer. It's whatever you feel is best.

I plan on hyphenating. I like my last name and my initials are all the same. Plus my dad always wanted me to.

I was going to make my maiden name a second middle, but that requires a court petition in Massachusetts, so I'm adding his to mine with a space, not a hyphen. I'm seriously not into the whole "finding your other half" mantra that people have around marriage (I have been a complete person since 1989 thankyouverymuch). We're marrying each other, I'm not being absorbed by him, so I don't feel like I need to give up a part of myself to gain something of his. It's likely to be a logistical nightmare (people already have trouble with my two-syllable, phonetically-spelled last name, wait until I tell them it's spelled with a space!) but it's what feels right to me.

I'm leaning strongly to changing my last name. But if I do there will be one or two places that my name will not change.
I am not looking forward to the paperwork that will have to be done for the name change. I have watched my mom for years deal with having to remember what is under what name as some things are hyphenated, some her maiden name, and other things are with her married name. I don't want that to be my future and have spent most of my adult life thinking I will not change my last name. But now that I am facing the decision I am viewing things differently. We will see what I do once I see the amount of paperwork required.

I kept mine.

I've always wanted to keep mine - I like it, and there are no boys in my generation. In addition, both DH and I are in the arts. IF one of us gets lucky enough to get some recognition, we'd like to preserve some privacy for our family (even if it's just me) through not sharing names. If we have kids, they can switch to whichever one they want.

MIL didn't change her name (it's a really cool name), either, so DH didn't even *think* about asking me. MIL actually asked me if I was thinking about it, and when I told her "NOPE", she just smiled and said, "good girl!" (I got points that day.)

View Quoted Comment That’s where I’m at. Keep it hyphenate. Who knew it would be this difficult to decide?

When I got married the first time I didn’t change it. I said it was because of the hassle and I already had my professional license, etc. But I think deep down I knew it wasn’t going to last.


I’m engaged now and I do plan to change my name. The reasons I had before for not wanting to change it don’t seem to matter anymore. I’m deeply in love and I want to cement our family as a unit.
My only slight issue is that his last name is very obviously Mexican and I am very obviously not Mexican so that might be a little weird for new social or business introductions. But it’s not a real reason to not change my name.

I’m hyphenating. It is for a mix of professional reasons and honoring my parents who have passed.

I'm adding his, no hyphen. I love it!!!

I'm changing mine. My mom and sister both hyphenated and my mom never uses her hyphenated name plus my fiance's last name is kind of long. I do love my name so what I going to do is hyphenate my middle name with my maiden name because I didn't want to lose it completely.

I could never drop my last name. I get compliments on it all the time, and it means a ton to me because we have no one to carry it on, it also resembles my grandfather who I'm convinced is the best man in the entire world. I absolutely hate my FH's last name, but I will be hyphenating them.

I'm taking his last name. I always new since I started dating that I would want to change my last name to whomever I chose as a spouse.
I've been sort of traditional, on top of the fact that I have no real connection to my biological father's family, except a cousin and an uncle who are not crazy and controlling like the family matriarch is (classic narcissis) and refuse to bow to her every whim.
I love my now husband and I can't wait to start all the paperwork when we get the official marriage license and it's copies in the mail.

I am keeping my last name. Too lazy to legally change it. Lol.

Keeping mind until I retire and start collecting social security, it too much of a financial hassle. Plus I really love my biblical name.