Keeping Last Name - gifts or other issues?

Unfortunately the way our society works is pretty patriarchal lol, and people are always going to expect you to be taking your husband's name... you'll probably be called it mistakenly constantly, even beyond wedding-related things :/ If I were you I would just try to spread through word of mouth to your guests that you aren't taking his name to try to minimize these kind of gifts, but otherwise I don't think there is much you can do other than admit that societal assumptions suck, and make your peace with being called the wrong name occasionally

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Good idea, I'll try to spread the word. But you're right there's really not much we can do about it -- other than it just becoming more normalized over time hopefully!

I’m keeping my last name as well. Most people know that and most of the gifts we have gotten only have Mr and Mrs with no last name or just something with our date. We did receive a set of hand towels with his initial on it but other than that it hasn’t been an issue. I think word of mouth works fairly well especially since the more sentimental, monogrammed gifts generally come from close relatives and friends, who will probably know you arnt changing your name

I’m keeping my name.
I would try and spread the word now before the wedding happens. We aren’t having a wedding website but you could include it on there or include it on the details card of the invite

I agree with PP about telling people. They will just assume and mean no harm by it. I am changing my last name but I hadn't communicated that to anyone. I did receive 2 or so shower gifts personalized with my new last name. Not an issue for me but it would be for others.

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Great points. I would be the only one on my FH side of the family not to, so they would all probably assume.

I did change my name, but, we didn’t get anything monogrammed or with our last name, so I don’t think it’s a *huge* concern, if it happens, it would only be a few items.

Checks-wise we got some with all sorts of different name combos— mine, his , both, the lastnames, etc. We just mobile-deposited all the checks and didn’t run into any issues. Any check that had 2 names with an “and” required both our signatures, but otherwise the names didn’t matter a whole lot. Especially notable bc our last name is unusual and a few people spelled it ....not even close. And still, no problem.

Just do your best to spread the word and graciously correct people if they make an assumption. While I find it silly that people assume, as my mom never changed her name, many people still think in that traditional way.

I've had it come up twice so far. We work at the same place and one of the managers made an off-handed comment about how I was a soon-to-be FH name. I laughed and told her I actually wasn't changing my name. She apologized for assuming. No harm no foul. And now the word at work has been spread.

A friend of ours got us a really lovely custom carved cutting board as an engagement gift...engraved with his last name and both our first names. She found out a few days before our engagement party (when she planned to give it to us) that I wasn't changing my name and was also really apologetic. I took it anyway and have it displayed in our kitchen anyway - it's the thought that counts.

I hadn't even thought of this... and I'm not changing my name.

I'm kind of banking on FMIL having not changed her name/my age/word of mouth.

Ooof, the patriarchy.

I'm not changing mine, anyone who knows me knows that. I'd just politely correct anyone who assumes it.
My fiance plans on changing his to mine and whoa Nelly you should hear the ruckus that causes! We haven't told his family yet and I am waiting for the drama.