Keeping elopement a secret is starting to get tough.

Just a question prior to advice: why do you want to lie to friends and family about eloping with you fiancé?

I think this is one of the reasons that most people elope much closer to their actual engagement date or they tell people they’ve chosen an elopement. I don’t have much advice other than just telling people and letting them know you’ll be celebrating with everyone after the fact. If people don’t know you’re eloping, how will you phrase the party you plan to throw?

View Quoted Comment Don't necessarily want to "lie" but we just want something for ourselves. Running off on our own little adventure. We're also not interested in hearing the whining and unwanted suggestions that would come our way. People take things that have nothing to do with them personally and we don't want to hear it.

View Quoted Comment We originally were planning on having a wedding. Then my father and best friend died super close together. We're also paying for everything. And what we want our wedding to look like, we couldn't justify paying the amount needed to achieve it. There were some other factors as well. After some time, we decided that eloping would be best for us. But as far as informing them, we plan on telling them about the elopement not too long after our elopement/honeymoon. They'll be told the same time their told about the celebration.

I would just be honest. I’ve been telling people and most are surprised but I haven’t gotten any unwanted opinions because they know I don’t care. I also tell them about the reception/anniversary party we plan to have.


If you’re not going to be honest, the only way to go is to keep doing what you’ve been doing. Tell them you’re still working it all out or that you don’t want to share details at this time.

View Quoted Comment Yes! I feel you on the part of rreeaallly not caring about! But I think you're right. Just say something or keep on keeping on.

I honestly feel that you're going to actually cause more bad blood if you tell them after the fact. I even told my FH that before we do anything he needs to tell his family because I do not want to start our marriage with them being upset and offended. I feel like you should just tell them that this is what you decided to do and why you decided to do it and yes they may not like it but imagine how they're going to feel after the fact. Some of them may not even want to attend your post elopement celebration because of the fact that you never said anything. I think you guys just be upfront to say this what we we decided on and we just want you guys supporting us. They may not like it but I feel that they would be more offended you haven't got said anything and then saying we just eloped. How would you feel if one of your close friends or family did that to you? Not trying to be rude but I'm just trying to have you maybe think of the other side of things just to cause less issues.

Why not just tell them, "We're eloping but will have a reception for all our friends later"?

Hey! 👋🏼
I eloped and we did it 2-3 months after we decided to get married... we didn’t wait so long. However! We didn’t tell ANYONE we were even getting married. Our moms knew and that was it. We sent out announcements saying that we had eloped and that there would be a celebration to follow. However, if they already know you’re engaged, you don’t have to tell them anything. You can just tell them you’re enjoying life with your fiancé for the moment and when there’s more to tell, you’ll share. Good luck!

Trust me, you're going to get a lot more whining if you don't tell your closest family members and friends that you're getting married. People will get over it.

"This is how we want to do it, so we're eloping. Who wants more pie?"

Why can’t you just tell people you’re eloping? It’s fair for close friends and family to ask bevosse they want to plan to come to your wedding. Out of respect I’d tell them there isn’t a wedding to come to. If it’s what you want, it shouldn’t be a secret

View Quoted Comment

I think that sounds incredibly romantic! I am also very sorry for your losses. That must have been very tough, but I hope the excitement around the elopement is getting you through!

Honestly, if a friend told me this exact thing, "running off on our own adventure" if I asked about their wedding, I wouldn't whine or pry! I would think it was super romantic! Some people just want to share in your joy, and you should let them! If anyone whines or gets upset, it really just affirms that you're doing the right thing!

Best of luck planning!