Keep The Friendship or Move On ( bridesmaids drama)

Not the lack of wedding pinteresting . The last couple of years we don't hang out or we try to set things up but she backs out .She always has time for whoever she's in a relationship with rather its staying over or traveling. When we do hang out she is typically on the phone whom she is with at the time. I use me as an example my FH and I been together 6 years and I try to make time for my friends/sister for catch up. I'm just thinking if the friendship[ is just one sided. The conversation was just the friendship as a whole to see if we have outgrown one another because if FOH isn't involved nothing really discussed or hanging out. I haven't pressured anyone with my wedding . The only thing is the color of dress and they choose even to the shoes to wear. I don't think that's pressuring anyone

I was trying so hard no to be the person with the extra long post lol. I just needed to hear the advice of strangers vs my circle. Thank you so much!

Lets break this down.

No one has to be as excited about your wedding as you do. No one has to talk in chats. No one has to come along to bridal appointments. Some people are really into it, some are not.

You are upset over her Pintrest. Am I reading that right? What do you care what she posts?

Yes, you might have outgrown this friendship, but you're getting upset over all the wrong stuff.

Ok since you are so kind with breaking it all the way down

What is the purpose of the bridal party?

Wondering the same thing as Anna, why did you ask her to start with if you had grown apart? Even so, it can be a great way to reconnect with a friend so maybe use it to rekindle your friendship a bit. It sounds like she feels pressured, not necessarily by you, but by the role itself because of her personality type. But if she is reaching out to your MOH, then she is trying, and that's actually very customary to do because the MOH is the one who is more responsible for pulling the bridesmaids together and organizing certain things so it doesn't add to your plate. It's probably good to remember that too, a bridesmaids roll isn't necessarily as involved as a MOH. If you are looking for more interaction with her, she may just need guidance. Let her know what you need help with, or if she could look into things for you. Maybe invite the whole bunch to certain types of things to help get them involved as a group, but remember it can be overwhelming to have too many ideas/opinions for something all at once. I personally bring my 2 MOH's to things to help keep notes, take pictures, etc. I'm not sure how much you need all of your bridesmaids involved in outside of their dresses and maybe some get-togethers to help you iron out details/get some ideas.

They are friends that stand with you on the day. People you can't see your day without. They aren't your helpers to plan your wedding and tag along to everything.

Is it great when everyone wants to come? Sure. But it's not always possible. Like I said, some are not into all this. Sounds like your friend is not that person. So why push her into it? Then you'd be upset that she pouted or seemed uninterested at the appointment.

To honor the people you love by having them stand next to you on your special day. That's it.

Is she excited to be a bridesmaid? And willing to come to bridal showers & buy the dress? If yes, it seems fine. I think "checking in" or "help with Pinterest" is cool if the girls have time but completely unnecessary. I've been a bridesmaid twice and I've never been involved in actual wedding planning. She seems to check in with MOH occasionally which is enough IMO.

I did not say I pushed her with any appointments. I took my mother and askmy MOHs to attend the shows and appointments. I am talking about the suggestion or feedback for bridesmaid stuff like what would she like to wear etc. The Pinterest is the dresses that come in the specific color. She isn't in the floral ,receptions ceremony groups . I don't think its pressuring if Its just letting me know the dress you like since I am calling to make sure what local stores has for them to try on. I am not having them do that. That's why I was a little confused with your comment. I was just confused on when you ask someone to be in the bridal party they do have some expectations. I did speak to her about just wanting the feed back of what she would like to do or wear. She is the one that said she will and wants to be a bridesmaid. I even said if she isn't comfortable she can still attend the wedding. I'm just taking back on how your response been but that what's comes when asking question online.

I was wondering as well if its the whole title thing that's making it off. She can overthink but I just told her simply let me know what you want to wear.I was just made aware yesterday that she has been reaching to other people. I feel its been some miscommunication because I was aware of anything. I have to figure out the dresses before our appointment in two weeks. I'm sending out a message and don't see any response from her. I can make different arrangement if she doesn't want to be in the wedding. She just says she wants to still be in the wedding. I'm just smh and confused

I think you need to reset your expectations. Unfortunately movies really set these unrealistic expectations about what bridesmaids should do, but that is fantasy. In reality, bridesmaids are your nearest and dearest who you want to stand up next to you while you declare your vows to your spouse. They may plan things with you but they may not. It is not their job. They may be excited about the wedding or not. It is not required. They may be busy with their own lives. They may care about their own relationships more than yours. It is okay. They should not be asked to be in your bridal party based on what they can do for you but rather based on your relationship with that person. If you are not close to this person or you have been drifting away then you should not have asked this person to be a bridesmaid. But there is nothing you have mentioned that would be reason enough to kick her out of your bridal party. If you do so, then be prepared to have that friendship end for good.