Keep the family portrait FAMILY only

You could take two pictures. One to include people who are "officially" family and one that includes everyone. I don't think you can eliminate some SOs and not others.

@Rosered Sometimes the simplest of answers escapes us. Thanks!

Have some with SOs and some without.

However, I don't think you need to be too stressed about hurt feelings with different SOs if it's like you say it is.

I feel like if I went to a family wedding of my SO pre-engagement and pre-one year 'anniversary', I would feel terribly awkward included in the special family photos. That wouldn't be the case for the SOs that have been around the family for years.

You could do something that is just family and spouses, but it's rude to say to some of your family that you like their SO, so they can be included, but you don't like/know another family SO so they can't be included. It will probably cause family drama. I like the idea of one just family, one with all SOs, but I don't think you can get away with a photo with some SOs, but not others. Maybe ask your photographer to snap some photos of you and the SOs you like dancing at the reception or something more casual like that. For a posed group photo, I think you need to do all or nothing.

Two pictures, or my photographer asked for a lost of people for pictures and if someone else got in them, she kicked them out and didn't feel bad bc they weren't on her list. It didnt offend her and it didn't make me,or H look bad.

I would just do the same portrait with SOs and again without. That's what we did, but my brother's wife still got butthurt because my H was 'allowed' to be in the photos. *eyeroll*

Yeah sorry but random significant others will not be included in our family portraits. FH's younger brother is engaged so she will be included. However, whoever the hell FH's twin brother decides to bring to the wedding will NOT be in any family photos. Sorry not sorry.

1. You could ask your photographer or coordinator to be the bad guy and ask them to remove themselves from the photo. Or have them make an announcement like, "we kindly ask that if you are not in a relationship by marriage, please do not stand in the photo".

2. Suck it up and laugh about their presence later. It could be something fun to pick on your family member about at Christmas in a few years.

3. Include in a small note in your program or invitation for family only to stay back.

I don't think there's an easy way to do it, and hopefully those SOs have the common sense to stay out.

My FH opted to not be included in my family's wedding photos. They wanted to include him so he's in some and not in others. Turns out it was the groom they should have excluded because the cheating bastard is no longer in the picture. Just get some of both!

I was sad that my brother didn't tell his GF of a few years to stay for the family pictures. I love her. I apologized to her afterwards and she said it was fine. She's in a lot of the other pictures so I'm glad.

We took the same photo with and without SOs. Everyone seemed cool with it and honestly, FH and I have stepped out of photos a million times for that reason.

Random SO's is one thing, I agree with PP just have the photographers take ones with and ones without. I would just be careful here though. I was in a wedding for my FSIL recently and I was excluded from basically all of the family photos but one, mind you I am engaged to her brother. It was super awkward and uncomfortable.

At my FH's sisters wedding before we were engaged I wasn't invited to family photos BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE. If I'm some flavor of the month it's so awkward to be in someone else's photo! I doubt you'll have much issues excluding people, but I like the two photo idea

Our family photos included immediate family only - not extended family (cousins).

Anytime my family does photos, we usually do two separate ones. The "official" family photo though is only actual family members and those who are married. Boyfriends and girlfriends are not included

I have personally been on the "significant other" side of this. My fiances brother got married six months into us dating. I was rudely told I need to stay inside during these family pictures. While I expected to not be a part of this (we were only together for 6 months at this point and I understood that it wasn't guaranteed to work out), I was quite hurt by the way the family went about telling me that I was not included in them. I think you should ask the family members to get one all together first. Then just take a few extra moments and add in those who are married and then add in those just dating. This way no extra harm was done taking a few extra pictures and no ones feelings were hurt.

Put the on the sides and crop them out

Just kidding. I'm sure you can arrange with the photographers to have a few versions of each family portrait taken. Usually they're pretty good at wording this so that feelings don't get hurt. And if it doesn't work out perfectly, I'm sure in years to come, you'll look back and feel glad you have your loved ones in a photo rather than focus on who wasn't supposed to jump in that pic at that given moment.

@karen lol

We just let our photographer know that my sisters boyfriend and his brothers girlfriends seemed like they would last, but we wanted pics without them just in case so she could handle it. It actually ended up that neither SO got up for the family picture so good thing the photographer knew because after she took a couple pictures she called out for them to join in. Worked perfectly

Your photographer will help you out with this!