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Just Said Yes December 2024

Just Want to Vent

Artie, on March 7, 2022 at 6:03 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 1 8

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Just a note: My fiancée and I are still in the early stages of planning, so the date is tentative/approximate for now.

Over my lifetime, I've gone through different ideas about what I'd want my wedding to look like. (Sure many of you can relate!) For a long time, I thought I'd want something pretty casual since I'm not a particularly fancy person. But after getting engaged, my ideas started to get more and more elegant. Until one day I decided to google black and white weddings. I really liked them, but am also dead-set on having red be one of my wedding colors. So I thought, why not? I googled red, black & white weddings.

I was floored.

They were so elegant and sophisticated while also having a bit of an edge. Something clicked with me and I just knew that was my perfect wedding. I'm not a very fancy person, but I kind of want to feel like glamorous royalty for a day, y'know? So I started looking at venues near me to see if there was anything locally that would be able to match my vision. (Originally wanted to travel for the wedding but realized local stuff is soooo much cheaper.)

Anyway, I found one place that was gorgeous. Not perfect, but pretty amazing. Then I realized the capacity was 700 guests.

Our guest list is sitting at about 40 right now, with established partners getting an invite but no +1s. Even if we gave everyone a +1, it'd still be way too big a venue.

Then, after quite a bit of searching, I found another one. An even better one. Even closer to perfect with enough available customization options to really make it ours.

Then I saw the capacity. It's 400.

I've looked and looked but every elegant indoor venue is either 1) massive 2) way out of our budget or 3) both. Most of these venues have 300+ capacity, and even the one I found with 120 capacity wasn't really that close to my vision and was still $6,000 before catering, planning, taxes, insurance, any of that. Whereas other ones I saw were closer to $2,000.

We both want a small, intimate wedding but I'm starting to think I won't get to have the classic, elegant wedding of my dreams. Most of the smaller wedding venues around here are extremely rustic, which is fine, but not what I'm looking for.

Just frustrated right now and trying to figure out what to do. Wanted to vent about it to someone who might understand.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on March 8, 2022 at 11:45 AM

Dedicated May 2019
Kylie · on March 7, 2022 at 6:25 PM
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My venue had a much larger capacity than my guest list. Reach out and you might be surprised the way they might be able to section things off for you.
Also, with 40 guests, consider restaurants! You might be able to do a buy out or a private room that’s easy to decorate into your vision.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on March 7, 2022 at 6:36 PM
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It can be difficult to find smaller venues that are upscale and elegant because generally smaller function spaces tend to be used for meetings and the like rather than weddings.
I would try thinking outside the box to find a venue that fits your capacity and budget but will allow you to achieve the vision you want. In the alternative if your budget allows it, you can also consider hiring a 'blank canvas' type venue and indulging in decor to achieve the look you are after.
If neither option proves fruitful, you may have to decide whether the aesthetic or intimacy of the event is more important to you. Good luck!
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Super May 2023
Pat · on March 7, 2022 at 8:03 PM
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Can you visualize draping the interior of the more rustic venues? I found these ideas, you can add your pop of red to them, or use red roses/flowers.
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Just Said Yes December 2024
Artie · on March 7, 2022 at 9:14 PM
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Thanks for the advice, everyone! I've got a list of venues to check out, including a couple restaurants, and we'll see what we can do with them.
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Devoted June 2022
PermaGrin · on March 8, 2022 at 3:44 AM
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I love this idea of draping - I would have never though of this!
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on March 8, 2022 at 8:06 AM
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I wonder if Italian restaurants will have the red/ black/ white decor you're looking for? While it would be simpler to use the venue as a backdrop (mine had cherry red carpet), you can alter your decor to focus your eyes on tablescapes and the couple. Hence, centerpieces, colored drinking glasses, chargers, candelabras, etc. If you want to go bigger, there's all-over white draping, black tablecloths, and you can even put in a black/white checkered dancefloor or even carpeting (non-restaurant). Here's a b&w article, and I think you could swap in red linens: Brides Magazine. For attire, you both can wear black, white, or red. So in sum, you don't have to rely on your venue for aesthetic, you can bring in small details to create your vibe. Try to not rely on Pinterest too much, I'm sure you have ideas.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on March 8, 2022 at 10:39 AM
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I would recommend you still reach out to the venues you saw with huge capacities. Often times, they can block off spaces for smaller parties or have other locations on the property that are more suitable for smaller events. Our venue was able to hold like 400 and we had 115, but they actually have a temporary wall they put up to separate the space since they have far more events that are smaller than 400 people.
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Stephanie · on March 8, 2022 at 11:45 AM
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Girl you're not alone. I wanted a small.intimate wedding as well but I also want the whole package and the big wedding experience just a downsized version. I havnt had much luck at all and ended up expanded my guest list just last night because there are so few all inclusive weddings for small parties. I hope you are able to find what your looking for but I completely feel your frustration. Planning is so much harder than I thought it would be. I had to sit down and really think about what I was willing to give up. So that's my recommendation for you. Sit down and write two lists. One with your must haves and one with items that you are willing to give up or compromise on. I eventually ended up choosing to have a bigger wedding because I wasn't willing to compromise on the whole experience. Good luck to you babes! You definitely have brides that understand and empathize with what your going through.
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