Long post warning: So I'm kind of annoyed right now. We've planned and planned and got our invitations sent. It has been fun and kind of crazy because so far we have 0 declines and almost half of our guests have responded, which is great, right?
To preface: The Knot has a great feature where you can make your RSVPs "secure" meaning a guest has to type in their name which the couples pre-loads into the RSVP site. Then, they select their name and can only accept or decline their invitation, meaning John and Jane can't add in their child and RSVP for 3 instead of 2. You can only RSVP for the people the couple puts in the website (i.e. who is actually invited).
Well, one of my FH's friends decides this is a great time to drop a bomb on us. He is engaged. Now before anyone says his fiance "should have been invited by name from the beginning", we literally had NO IDEA she existed, let alone that he was even seeing someone. Like, when we saw him not too long ago, he said he was single! I even looked on the social media of all of our single guests before we sent out invites to make sure no one had a new relationship, as if they did, their new partner would have been invited by name!
So he decides to add a note onto our RSVP saying what her name is and a note saying "yeah. I'm bringing my new fiance, if this isn't okay, let me know!" This is how you tell your friends you're engaged? I even texted this guy's best friend (who is our best man) to ask why he didn't give us a heads up and HE had no idea this guy was dating anyone, and they talk at least once a week!
Well, I had my fiance text him (as I don't have his number) and explain that as we reached the number that we can comfortably host, and as we have 0 declines we really can't add anyone right now, and we completely understand if this changes his RSVP, but to let us know. Well this guy texted my FH back saying "I'll let you rethink that and then we'll have to have a chat about that." A chat about what?? That you've known since our save the date came that you would be invited, and never thought to let us know that you have a serious relationship so we could have invited her by name? Now that it's only a few weeks until our final counts are due, you want us to make room for someone we had no idea existed? We have 0 declines. If we did, I would have just added her, but now I'm getting really miffed that this guy is acting like we are the ones who did something wrong or somehow slighted him.
I get it, I would be really upset if my FH wasn't invited to a wedding with me, to the point that I would just decline. But everyone who knows who my fiance is and that I'm with him, and it would be very intentional to leave him off of a guest list, while we had no idea that this guy was even swiping right on anyone, let alone getting a ring! IDK, What would you do I guess?
