Just need to vent

I love my FMIL. We get along really well and she gets along with my whole family and we always have fun together. But she can also be very frustrating. She is insanely argumentative and gets offended about EVERYTHING and instead of talking rationally, she screams. For example, my niece recently died in the NICU. It was devastating and I had a really hard time dealing with it. But a few months later FHs aunt had a baby which was super exciting, but FMIL was sending me pictures all day of the baby and it was too much for me to handle and the second I saw my FH I just started crying. My FH asked her to try and stop sending me pictures for a while because I was still grieving. And she got so angry and started yelling and telling him I needed to “get over it”. She just gets so easily offended and takes everything so personally. This makes it so FH never wants to stand up for himself (or me) because he wants to avoid the yelling. Which I totally understand.


Today my FH texts me and says that his mom is really upset about not being involved in the planning and that I never visit her. I live in a different state and attend law school and work as a law clerk, so I rarely go home. But I still saw her at least 5 times this summer and a few times since the semester resumed. she always expects me to travel to her which irritates me because I currently work for free and the travel is expensive. I’ve invited her out to my home many times but She never wants to, so I really don’t think there is reason for her to complain that she never sees me. And when it comes to her not being involved in the planning, that’s because there is no planning. The last bit of planning we did was finding a venue for our reception, which she was very involved with and toured 4 venues with us. After that my FH handled the church with her. We haven’t done any planning since then because final exams are coming up soon and I just don’t have the time to do much. The only planning I do is WW (which isn’t really planning so much as me taking a study break) and Pinterest. I don’t even talk about it with my FH. But of course my FH won’t say any of this because she’ll just get upset again. So I’m just sitting over here looking like this bad person marrying her son and purposefully leaving her out of wedding planning. She also tells this all to her entire family which makes me look even worse. It’s just really frustrating. She also has asked several times about the colors we have chosen because she wants to buy a dress which I understand but Our wedding is in over a year and since we put planning on hold we don’t know what the colors will be. But instead of looking at it like that, she thinks I’m withholding this info from her on purpose for some reason. It just makes no sense and needed to let it out lol.