Just looking for some thoughts/input on this bff situation.. Help!!

Ugh I'm sorry.. Sometimes people just grow apart. I'm not sure I would force anything with her.. especially with how she has acted. I had a laugh at her comment on drinking water all day isn't healthy... Yeah.. Ok. Lol. Do you have a date set yet?

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Well thanks for reading my story haha! I am giving us space to see if anything changes in my mind. But seriously right?!

We don't have a date set, but we are going to start looking at some of our top venues after our vacation next month! So excited!!

Could you have an honest conversation with her where you tell her how you're feeling? That you feel like she's been insensitive and unsupportive?

It's possible she's going through some stuff and needs someone to talk to but doesn't know how to reach out without complaining. Or she just loves to complain and if that's the case, it will become really clear in your conversation with her and honestly who needs that kind of person in their life?

On the bright side, if your date ends up being over a year out you have time to decide on your bridal party and MOH. So if your friendship gets patched, great! Or if not you aren't stuck with a MOH where you're questioning your friendship. This is definitely a decision you don't need to rush, you want to make sure you have the right people there with you the day of.

If I were you... I just wouldn't reach out to her for awhile. It seems like she's a little jealous that you have something fun going on and she's trying to like slap you back to reality by telling you that her and husband are fighting, or how much money he makes, etc.

Let her reach out to you. She may be like "hey, why so quiet" and if she does, just explain that the last few times you've talked to her she hurt your feelings. Be honest. It hurts that she's your BFF and not supportive of you trying to lose weight. She bad mouthed FH's family who you really like. She's not supportive of you trying to make new friends. Making friends as an adult is hard enough as is. You've listened to her complain about this and that, but when it came time for you to complain (money for instance) she just blew it off instead of trying to understand where you were coming from.

I'd see where it would go from there. I'd also wait until more like 7-8 months from your wedding date to ask any wedding party. There's been SO many brides who have bridal party regret from asking too early.

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I agree with this. I can definitely see how her remarks are annoying, BUT it also sounds like you aren't being real supportive of her either. If this is really bothering you, have an honest conversation with her without mentioning bridal party or your wedding. I would wait until closer to your wedding date to ask people to be in the wedding, that way there is less time for things to "happen."

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She usually tells me most things, even without me asking lol but I do definitely want to have some kind of conversation with her about the way I have been feeling. I might give it a little more time though and just take a break from that relationship until I am fully ready. I know that it will be a long conversation with her because with others calling her out in the past it has usually not been very good.

The good news is I have made 2 new friends in my search recently and have had some time to surround myself with positivity instead. I definitely don't want to rush making any bridal party decisions yet, I want as little drama as possible!

Agree with PPs here. All you can do is wait. I've read so many stories from brides who chose their bridal party too early, then regretted the people they asked. So, you should probably wait until you're about 8 months from your wedding date, whatever that may be. If, at that time, you have patched things up with your friend, you can ask her. But if you haven't, then you don't ask her, and haven't made a decision you will end up regretting.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's really true that making friends as an adult is very difficult. So when your good friend starts acting like this, it's really hard.

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Thank you, I am definitely waiting until we are much closer to formally ask people to be in our wedding party. I think the most difficult thing about this is that these are things we have been talking about for years (being in each others weddings) and now currently, I don't have anyone else I am as close with that would be able to fill that role, but I guess time will tell. I mentioned above, luckily I have met 2 nice women recently so I can at least start working on building friendships with them!

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Agree with all of this! I would just focus on taking a break from the friendship and seeing where it goes for now, don't worry about who is going to be in your wedding. You have so much time, it doesn't need to be a worry for now on top of trying to figure out your friendship with her.

Friendships have their ups and downs. Part of the wonderful and beautiful BFF relationship is that you can be there for each other through everything, and you have someone to cry and complain to no matter what and you know the other will always be supportive... it goes both ways. Sometimes one of you unintentionally hurts the other, that's just part of it. I think you should wait it out and see, it sounds like you have some time. I had a best friend I refused to talk to for 6 months because she hurt me in a bad way, but eventually I called her (after I almost died and at that point re-evaluated my life) and we talked and are still great friends now, we just aren't as close as we used to be. Maybe you guys just need some space. It would be hard to just stop being friends with someone that you have this history with, but sometimes friends grow apart and sometimes they grow closer. Maybe just think about what you've been through together and what kind of support you've been for each other, and see if it's significant enough to keep or lose? What would you lose out on if you weren't friends anymore? What positives does she bring into your life? It sucks as an adult because friends are so hard to come by, but it's also not worth having a toxic relationship, either.

Also, maybe you can find another role for her in your wedding if you decide you don't want her as MOH anymore? I would hate to see you regret not having her in your wedding 15 years down the line when your new friends all turn out the be a bunch of weirdos.

To be honest, it sounds like she’s really struggling with her own life, and isn’t happy. From what you described, it seems like she has some insecurities about the financial situation she and her husband are in, and that they are possibly having a tough time with their marriage.

I think that that you should take a step back, put the wedding thought to the side and really look at your friendship. If you were struggling emotionally, would you look to her for help? It really honestly seems like she needs a shoulder to rest on, and she needs you and your friendship and support.

Thankfully you have a long ways away from getting married so you can definitely put off asking her to be your MOH until you figure things out. Have an honest conversation with her. Tell her how you're feeling. She is an adult she should understand that by making some new friends you're not trying to replace her. If you've been supportive of her journeys, she should also be supportive of your weightless journey and trying to be a healthier overall better version of yourself. Being more positive helps you a long way with that too. Unfortunately when you begin taking steps to better who you already are you can discover toxic people in your life that you once thought weren't. I hope everything works out for the best!

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Took the words out of my mouth.

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I actually just reached out to her a few days ago and after trying to have an adult conversation, it was clear that she was not willing to talk about things like I was. I have decided to not move forward with our friendship any longer (at least at this point in time.) Thanks to all for your input - I guess it's the wedding curse!! haha!

Okay, so growing up my mother ALWAYS preached to me and my sisters, that we needed to have our family in our wedding and not our friends. Basically, her point was, she doesn't really talk to ANY of her bridesmaids anymore but she still talks to her sisters. She did get married really young, like graduated high school in May, got married in December. She is also going to celebrate 50 years of marriage next year, so it wasn't a bad thing to get married that young. But in her mind, if you have sisters or if your FH has sisters, they should be in your bridal party. Then if there is still room for more, you can start adding friends. This is my sentiment as well, while friends are awesome, my family is always there first for me. They will always be there for me, my friends might not.