Just curious: Grazing Stations, Buffet or Sit Down?

Black tie isn't just a dress code, it's a level of hosting that requires a multi-course plated meal, butler passed apps, valet service, live band, etc. Having a buffet means that it is no longer a black tie event.

View Quoted Comment Hi Caytlyn. I’ve been planning our wedding for a long time so I’m aware of what a black tie event entails, but it appears some of these caterers do not 😆🤦🏽‍♀️ because more than a few of them suggested these alternatives like they’ve done it for other “black tie” receptions; so I was a bit confused & wanted to see if anyone else has heard of this or been to a reception like this. Thanks.

Pretty sure the point of black tie is that it is a sit down meal. I think your caterers likely do whatever the customer wants and are giving examples of that.

I’d be pretty annoyed at having to carry my plate around to get food in an evening gown. I haven’t been to a lot of black tie events but the ones I have been to (and even most of the semi-formal/formal ones) have had multiple plated courses.

I haven't ever been to a black tie event that was buffet style. I don't think I'd be annoyed by carrying a plate, but that's me.

I've only been to one black tie wedding event, our meals were passed out to us. I think it would be kind of odd to have it any other way to be honest.

You're completely right. Buffet or stations do not meet the black tie standard of hosting.

Having a buffet meal would not be considered black tie.... might want to consider changing your dress code

I agree with everyone I think if you’re having a black tie event then buffet would through that off. However I wouldn’t mind it but that’s just one person. I think people have certain expectations with black tie. I do think it’s a good thing your caterer gives you options through, maybe this is a know your crowd thing. Congrats on your NYE wedding, so exciting!

I didn’t want a black tie event specially because I had a destination wedding but often time people think of destination wedding as an excuse for a maxi floral dress and sandals or shorts and sport shoes. Our wedding was very formal as it was ocean front but not a beach wedding so I had a black tie optional. When it came to the food I couldn’t pick seated dinner, I had less than 50 guest with just 5 tables and the buffet option I was presented with I just couldn’t pass. We had 5 entree alone and two of them got cook right in front of you. We are big on food so having such a big option was a no brained. We did add 4 waitress which made the night exceptional. Most guest never went to the bar because they’ll get their order from table or even dance floor. They brought anything you requested. I also had transportation and pass appetizers but I didn’t call the event a full black tie affair. As for the buffet my guest love it because all the different options they had and of course it was a small wedding so no big lines and no long walks.

Black tie and formal are two different things to me. If its a black tie ( I think like red carpet attire, very fancy and expensive) event you should be having like a 4 course meal. If its formal (I think a nice dress, suit and tie kind of thing) then I think you are fine. We are having a formal wedding and doing a buffet.

In general I like grazing stations and buffers but I’d be a little confused if I attended a black tie event and had to go retrieve my own food.

IMO if you go buffet or grazing route I’d change your dress code.

Yea I don't think I'd want black tie dress code and then for it to be buffet.

I agree that black tie is played and not a Buffett. It’s a service that comes along with a black tie event.

No. To me, black tie means a full open top shelf bar & valet & full plated multiple course meal. I guess I would just expect that if it was a black tie wedding. I'd just make it formal and not black tie if you don't want to have plated.

Yeah, if you go the grazing station or buffet route, you might just want to change the event from black tie to formal or something else?

I’ve been to black tie events with stations for cocktail hour, but they’ve always been followed by a formal, sit down, plated meal.

Seated dinner!