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L
Savvy November 2024

Just a thought…

Lala, on January 29, 2023 at 8:54 AM Posted in Planning 0 40
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Ok so don’t come for me cause I’ve read all the articles and I know what people are going to say about etiquette…. Anywho me and fiancé decided to get married a bit earlier than first planned ( our first date was May of 2024). The problem with this is now we’ve run in the problem we’re our first idea is kind of out the window as far as a reception. We’ve looked into having dinner at a restaurant but the cost is 3000+ and that’s a bit much for two struggling college students. We’re having 30 guest ( I have 11 siblings) and only one uncle is coming from out of town. My question is it okay to skip the reception all together? Instead give out like dinner gift cards inside of the welcome /gift bags- that’ll run us $1000 for each guest in total. Please don’t leave the comments “like just elope if you can’t afford it”. This will be the first wedding in both family’s and unfortunately we don’t come from money and we aren’t going to go broke for an event. We really want family to be with us on are special day so eloping isn’t really an option at this point. Any positive advices or fun , less expensive reception ideas?

40 Comments

Latest activity by Vanessa, on February 12, 2023 at 5:32 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    If you kept your original date of May 2024, would that allow you to save up enough to host the reception you were envisioning? Otherwise, you could do a cake and punch reception at a non-meal time, or look into catering from somewhere like Chipotle or Olive Garden or even a local pizza restaurant. Those will likely be cheaper.
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    Hi! It would allow time to save up but things changed and I’ll be going in a grad program in 2024. So my FH and I decided to get married a bit earlier. Thanks for the advice!
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I completely understand your predicament. I don’t think giving out dinner gift cards is the way to go, though. It feels very impersonal (the opposite feeling you want to have for a wedding)- feels more like a business function or a fundraiser. Instead, you could have your wedding at a non-meal time (maybe 2-4), and just serve cake and finger foods afterward.
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    I definitely understand that! Thank you 😊
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Just want to point out something you may want to consider… if you are receiving financial aid for school, that may be severely affected if you were to get married before entering the grad program. FH and I had originally planned to get married while I was in grad school, but realized I would lose all my financial aid (and have to pay a ton out of pocket!) if we got married before my final year of school. It may actually be much more advantageous of you to push the wedding out, rather than rush it.
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    👀👀👀 oh my gosh!!! I didn’t even know this!
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I hadn’t really considered it at first either! Then it happened to my best friend when she got married, and she literally had to drop out of school and save money for two years before she could return! It prompted me to look into how getting married would affect my financial aid, and I’m so thankful I did! I would go with your spouse to the financial aid office and look into how getting married will affect your FA package.
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    Thank you! Truly! We were more concerned about the course load and me working full time- we didn’t even consider the FA part of it. Thank you! Honestly! Did you guys get married right after you finished?
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    The gift card route does seem very impersonal. I would look into some cheaper options if you can't afford what you've.been quoted so far.


    But like another person mentioned if you are married they will definitely take your spouse's income into account when determining how much financial aid you will receive.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    You are so welcome! We ended up getting married 2 weeks after my final class. In hindsight, I probably should have pushed the wedding out 2-3 months after my final class. It was pretty hectic and a bit stressful that last month worrying about final papers and all the final wedding preparations. I had lots of extra time to plan, but there is always a ton of stuff to do the last month or two before the wedding. But the date we chose was really significant to us, so we made it work.
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    Thank you! I think I really needed to hear from you! Gained a new perspective!
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    Thank you!
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    So glad I could help! 💕 I am going to send you a private message with a suggestion 😉
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  • L
    Savvy November 2024
    Lala ·
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    😊ok thank you!
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Glad you came here to ask! If you are planning to still do the wedding, you'll need to host something to thank your guests for coming. What about having something at lunch or brunch time?

    Good luck with school and planning!

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    If you still plan to do the wedding early (pending what you decide about financial aid and stuff) you really need to do a "reception" of sorts. Even if you order pizzas and a cake to have at the church meeting room (hotel conference room, lviing room, wherever) that is preferable to nothing. The reception is just the thank you to the guests for coming to witness your marriage, it definitley doesn' thave to be fancy!!! or if it's not at a mealtime (mid morning or mid afternoon) you can just do a couple snack trays and a cake. That's totally appropriate!

    good luck Smiley smile

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  • P
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Paige ·
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    If most people are local perhaps you could make it a potluck kind of thing where people bring in recipes to share with the newlyweds and then they also bring one of the dishes for everyone to enjoy. You could set a few categories like in a cook book to be sure you get a little of everything (appetizer, sides, etc.) and then maybe you could provide the main dish?
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  • SandyZV
    Dedicated June 2023
    SandyZV ·
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    Potlucks are a no-no for weddings. Wedding receptions are a gift to the guest for attending your nuptials. You don't expect your honored guests to provide the food.

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  • P
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Paige ·
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    If it were my family and I couldn’t afford to feed them all, I wouldn’t feel weird about it. Family is there to celebrate and support you. My family would definitely be happy to do this if I asked. But I suppose that’s for this person to decide for themselves since neither of us are in this position.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It's common etiquette that your guests don't have to help pay for your event. That includes cash bars and potlucks.

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