June 6th Wedding Canceled.. I'm done

So my venue emailed me to let me know that the state has extended the shutdown / limited gatherings throughout June.

I have been planning this wedding for over two years. I've dealt with a lot of stress with the planning process during all this time. I hated almost every moment planning this wedding due to how much pressure there is with keeping costs low and getting consent from my parents (who were paying for the wedding). Stress from the ongoing conflicts between family members not wanting to go cause so-and-so will be there. And of course, the lack of communication between me and my parents made me want to cancel it long ago.
But I sucked up all my anger and hurt and kept going because this would of been the first actual wedding for both my family and my fiance's family. And now it's not going to happen. Now I can look back for the past 3 years of being engaged that all I am allow to have is a fricken court house shebang.. if they would even be open. So tomorrow I now have to make phone calls to all my vendors to cancel... call every guest, after we just sent out invites to just 2 weeks ago, to cancel, tell family members to dont bother looking at the registry we made (I just got done deleting it before anyone bought anything), and probably cancel our honeymoon to alaska that I paid for cause it's no long a honeymoon.
I'm not going to postpone this wedding to the fall or next year. I'm not going to plan a smaller ceremony. I dont want to go to the court house. But I still want to marry the man I love.. and now I feel like I cant do that cause I dont know why.
I will marry him. That is a promise. But I cant do a wedding. Just sign the papers and forget all this wedding bull for the rest of my life. No friends, no family, no parents... just the two of us.
Just have to make sure we get all of my parents and our money refunded. Then with that we may be able to move on.. I emotionally probably never will, but I dont have a choice.
Sorry for the long rant. But I am done with this app forever. Good luck with your future endeavors....