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Just Said Yes May 2022

Jumping the Broom with a White Bride

Amanda, on February 19, 2021 at 11:48 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 2 26
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Hey Guys,

I need some advice. My groom really wants to jump the broom and, while I love the idea and meaning behind it; I don't want to upset anyone by doing it. He is black, but I am white, and I'd hate for our wedding to be tainted because of this. I'd happily do a different unity option, if need be, but we wanted opinions on it because it seems to be a pretty mixed response in everything I've googled.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on February 22, 2021 at 9:51 AM
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly Online ·
    • Flag

    I think this is something that you both decide together whether you'd want to do it, or not. You shouldn't make changes or remove something just because you're afraid of upsetting a few guests. If Jumping the Broom is something your FH really wants to incorporate into your wedding ceremony, and it's important to him, then I think it's worth keeping in your ceremony! It's also his day, so having something included in your ceremony that reflects him and his cultural background is great! I always love it when couple's add those details in!

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Dedicated March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you would offend anyone. I'm not offended by the idea (of course I don't speak for everyone).


    I view it as taking part in your fiance's culture.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner Online ·
    • Flag
    To be honest I’ve never even heard of that. But if this is something you guys want to do, you both need to do what you want to do. It’s 2021 and people get offended over any little thing possible. It’s YOUR wedding day.
    • Reply
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2021
    Clarissa Online ·
    • Flag
    I think that would be cool. As an African American bride with a Caucasian groom I wanted to do that as well but with him having a back injury we can’t. I say go for it. I would be embracing our culture.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never heard of it and as an interracial couple ourselves, we appreciate when cultures are shared.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    The answer I give depends on if you are in any sort of public eye - a journalist, planning public office, work as a teacher, things like that. The people who love you know you and your FH and will support you of course.
    But...there is not a lot of time to explain things when someone posts a picture on twitter/instagram with no context and that can spin out of control very fast. And someone who doesn’t know you could feel you were appropriating their culture when really you were participating in a meaningful ritual.
    Will this happen? Prob not. I also am seeing this through the lens of someone who had a little pile on because people thought I was someone else and it exhausting having to explain that I was not this person over and over.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith Online ·
    • Flag
    If he were white, no. But as long as one of you has the cultural tie, and both of you find it meaningful, I can see any problem with it. We are a mixed race and culture and religion, and it so many things, we observe the traditions of one as a household with our kids. You learn to find the lines you cross and the ones you don't. My Sami culture, when the Goddess comes to earth on the longest night, the turning of the year, riding down the Aurora Borealis in a reindeer pulled sled, visiting all of the camps of the reindeer herders and fishermen and bearing gifts, is not so far from his Santa Claus, and yule longs etc, that we all observe. But I would never take communion, or observe Lent or Easter, Because I do not believe, And he does not say our traditional religious things. Yet for our wedding, since he does not personally believe marriage is a sacrament ( as in his Catholic upbringing) he had no difficulty following our format of agreeing to marry
    with our whole families behind each of us, and us walking away from family to a symbolic home for the two of us. Neither of us said or did what we did not believe. Not having a Catholic sacramenal marriage was a source of distress to his Catholic parents. But their priest talked to the parents saying, it would be wrong to do Catholic things neither of us believed. But the sentiments of whole families raising a child, and presenting that young adult to marry his/ her choice, and then starting their own family, together forever, did not go against anything FI, or his parents believed. So for him to observe my culture was sincere, not cultural appropriation, but sharing an element of my culture, also meaningful to his.
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Amanda ·
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    That is a very good point. I'm not in the public eye much, but it could be misconstrued. Thank you for pointing this out!

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your help. I wanted to make sure it's cultural APPRECIATION, not cultural APPROPRIATION, but I feel better about it now. I appreciate all the different view points, especially those who share his culture or are in a similar position as us because having those voices were very important to me. I'd never want our day to to hurt anyone else and it's always good to have those viewpoints.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I hate to sound like I’m saying to cave to public perception, I don’t mean that. We’d go crazy if we didn’t do anything because it might upset someone, right? It’s a risk-benefit analysis.
    I found a fun tradition from my FH’s Icelandic background and said we should include it and he laughed because it was so random he’d never heard of it - it’s like a tower of little cakes in circle, the biggest on the bottom, the top one is tiny. I thought I was being all historical and he had never heard of it LOL
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2021
    Katie Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I 100% agree with this. If my fiancés had a different culture than me we would 100% incorporate parts of the culture in the wedding if he wanted to do it. You should let him have a say with the wedding, don't allow others opinions or lack of education have you force him to water down his culture. You are marring him and need to support him and his culture and stand up for him. If there are people coming to the wedding who do not like how his culture celebrates being married then it sounds like they don't need an invite.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I disagree with doing that. I, personally, could never do that if I were marrying a white man. However, it is the couple's decision. I recommend you meditate and/or pray on it, depending your spiritual beliefs.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I would definitely see an issue with it if your future spouse bashes african american women. I PERSONALLY know so many men from my culture who scream BLM, while saying how they could never marry/love romantically a black woman because we are unattractive, loud, overweight, (insert negative stereotype) etc. How can one love their culture and yet be unable to love romantically/marry someone from it? Falling in love with someone who HAPPENS to be from a different culture is 100% okay. Suffering from self hate and/or low self esteem due to one's race and PURPOSELY seeking out someone from a different race is 100% unhealthy.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2021
    Katie Online ·
    • Flag
    And I seen you commenting how you don't want to offend people from that culture. I thought you were talking about guests on your side not liking it, sorry been a long day.


    But still what I said stands if he wants to do it then you should. If people are upset because they felt like you disrespected the culture then it's up to him to correct people.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Dedicated November 2021
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    I agree with everyone else. This is a matter of cultural appreciation where you’re being asked to participate in a tradition that’s important to your fiancé. Everyone is going to have opinions regardless and everyone may not be comfortable with it, but this is you and your fiancé’s marriage and relationship so don’t worry about them. You, as his fiancée, being white doesn’t negate his ancestry or heritage and vice versa. If this is something significant to your fiancé, I think it’s really important to recognize why and be united in whatever you choose to do!
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert June 2021
    Melanie ·
    • Flag

    I am black and I personally would not at all be offended if I went to a wedding where this happened. You're respecting his culture and I commend you for that! But if we're being honest, there's very likely people on both sides who don't agree with your interrational relationship even though they might not say anything to your face, and those people may not agree with you jumping the broom. So if you're fine with "offending" those individuals and defending yourself (which you should be!), I say go for it. However, I do agree with Samantha that if a photo was posted online, I can definitely see how it may not go over well with people looking in from the outside.

    • Reply
  • Expert September 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with this! If it’s something you both want to do, go for it! Someone will always be offended about something. It’s your day, do what you both want to do!
    • Reply
  • Connie
    Dedicated December 2021
    Connie ·
    • Flag
    That is a cultural tradition from your FHs family, and I think he has every right to get to embrace that tradition with you! Marriage is you two coming together as one, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with you taking part in that tradition with him. You seem like you have honest and sincere intentions and I seriously doubt anyone could reasonably find something wrong with yall doing that together. As long as your FH has your back (and I am sure he does), nothing anyone says against you both partaking in the broom jump will hold any value.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    I’d talk to him and his family about it— if his family is into it...well, they’re the ones that will be there watching anyway!


    I’ve been to some mixed faith weddings and it’s common to incorporate some traditions from each side (ex , glass stomping at a Christian + Jewish wedding), especially those that are important to the individual. The very best I’ve been to take a moment to explain the tradition to the “other” side of the crowd so everybody gets to learn what it is and why it’s done etc.
    • Reply
  • Brittney
    Savvy August 2021
    Brittney ·
    • Flag

    I am an African American woman and I think that I would be offended by it if I saw that. However, it is your wedding and as someone stated above, if you, your FH, and his family are united in this decision, that is all that matter.

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