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sophie
Dedicated June 2021

Juggling college and remote wedding planning

sophie, on September 11, 2020 at 2:27 AM Posted in Planning 0 17
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My FH and I will be getting married shortly after we both graduate, and he proposed last February. I've been excited for and dreaming about this since we were seventeen, so we decided to just hire a month-of coordinator instead of a full wedding planner. I was confident I could handle it from the beginning and after we got stuck back home during spring break, things were a breeze! but now that I'm planning remotely (currently living in Boston, will be getting married in our hometown of Dallas) and trying to juggle college classes, med school applications (thank GOD I took the MCAT before this all hit!!), and a part-time job, I'm wishing more than ever that we had just hired the full planner!!! our coordinator has been lovely and helpful thus far, but there's only so much she can do without us upgrading to a full planner, but I've already done so much that I feel like it wouldn't be worth the extra $$. any tips on planning from afar or juggling planning with a hectic schedule would be greatly appreciated!!!!

17 Comments

Latest activity by sophie, on September 15, 2020 at 3:42 PM
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca Online ·
    • Flag

    Make your FH do half of it.

    I'm not kidding. Ask him what he cares about. Boom, he is now in charge of those things.

    Also, simplify. Figure out what matters most to you for the day, and let the rest of it drop. If you end up having time to figure those extras out, great, if not... you didn't care in the first place.

    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    He's doing his best to help, and I know I'll end up going back over that stuff anyway, so I'm trying to make most of it a "together" activity! I do think simplifying will help though- a shorter to-do list will make it a lot less overwhelming. Thank you!!

    • Reply
  • Jai Butcher
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai Butcher ·
    • Flag
    The more simple the wedding the easier it is. For example, we had a small amount of people, DIY my bouquet, catering from a local restaurant, no favors, etc. Also, buying a wedding planner book to stay organized!
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    I've been planning my wedding from NC for a wedding the Keys and also working FT (50-60 hrs) each week (prior to Covid it was 2 FT jobs at about 80 hrs). It's challenging but doable. My FH has been great, we always schedule a little time to discuss things and get things done together (we created our own custom Welcome bags and goodies inside along with making our own custom masks for our guests). The key is to be really organized, make all your BIG decisions in advance so when it comes up in the planning schedule it's just checking the box because you already know what you want.

    And most importantly, don't forget to stop and take time for yourself.

    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    First simplify everything... Guest list, vendor list, dress, everything you possibly can


    Let future spouse take some of the work he cares about
    And college before wedding planning. I have heard florist, dress shops, and lots of vendors been able to do things with a day notice... Was it ideal? No. Can it be done? Yes. And school is more important.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    Take it one step at a time. Make a list of what you Brad to do. Nail down major vendors (venue, photographer, and DJ) and then you can really relax on the rest. You have plenty of time before your wedding to get things done. Focus on school and due planning during breaks. I planned my wedding in my first year of my PsyD program, and I did the bulk in the summer before starting and winter break.
    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    Thanks for the advice!! i've been talking to future SIL (pretty much had the exact same planning circumstances, but she was in AL, much closer to home) about how she handled it and she said pretty much the same thing- i keep forgetting that once we're home for winter break, there's still 6 months left! i really appreciate the tips

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  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    I just ordered one!!! i've been trying to do it using online formats but i just really need to be able to write things down. thanks for your advice!

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  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    Luckily i don't think anything will have to happen with a day's notice (shoutout to our month-of coordinator), but it does help to know that even if things are tight it'll work out!!

    • Reply
  • Jai Butcher
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai Butcher ·
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    You're welcome!!! Keep it up you're doing good!
    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    It's definitely been the distance that's making it hardest for me, since we can't go see anything in person. thank you for the self-care reminder!!!!! i definitely needed it (oops)

    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    Yes, the florist I had gave me a comforting horror story. They had a groom come in. He was very vague and said he wanted a bouquet. They showed him some flower arrangements and he looked very nervous. They asked him what are these for and he said he was getting married in 3 hours. The ladies of the flower shop both looked at each other and said, "oh no, we're doing this proper. They showed him a very narrow selection they could do because there was no time to order. They whipped together a rose bouquet and made it proper wrapped in all.




    The dress shop I went to said it was common for brides to come in the day before or with very short timelines. These brides were either eloping, tried to make their own, or another dress shop messed up. They would have a selection of a handful of dresses that were both in stock and off the rack but still could find it.


    The bakery I went to had a similar horror story where they had a wedding the next day. They could not do a full wedding cake in that notice but they did a cut cake with a bunch of cupcakes in their "wedding cake" flavor and decoration style. They also rented out a cake stand. They had a picture and it looked like it was "planned."


    So, if it is last minute disasters happen... You aren't the first and they can be fixed. It may not be exactly what you wanted but it is a solution.
    • Reply
  • K
    Devoted October 2021
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    Just do the essentials now (date, venue, photographer, maybe dj/catering/florals/hmua depending on your priorities). Everything else can wait until you have more time, which will happen once applications are over and you hit final semester! Also as someone else planning long-distance, besides the venue there isn’t much you need to see in person at this stage. It’s so easy to get bogged down in the fun details, but many aren’t even that critical and can certainly be done later 😉


    • Reply
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    Definitely give your fiance LOTS to do. A lot of vendors just contact the bride for everything. I made dang sure they had my husbands number too 😂 if you know any family or close friends who live close to your venue, you can ask them to do any small tasks that need to be done that you cant be there for. and I also planned my wedding during an incredibly busy time in my life, and what helped was setting aside some time each day for wedding planning especially as the wedding got closer
    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    This is all super helpful- thank you!!!

    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    I promise, it gets easier. It's challenging right now, but always have faith and trust.

    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    Thank you!!!
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