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Katherine
Just Said Yes May 2020

Judgemental People

Katherine, on June 26, 2019 at 4:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 16
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I'm sorry to bring anyone down with this discussion, I just needed a place to vent. There are certain people in my fiancé and I's friend and family circles who have decided to place it upon themselves to inform us that we are too young to get married. When we get married he will be 20 and I will be 21, however, we will have known each other for five years and been together for two and a half. I am not pregnant, we simply love each other and wish to spend our lives together. We are both mature beyond our years (because of the trauma 😉), and wish to build a life and a family together, and I don't understand why others feel they must belittle that.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on July 4, 2019 at 3:58 AM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    If these people have no financial stake in your life, ignore them. If you live at home and rely on your parents or other family members to survive financially, I might consider what they’re saying.
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  • Katherine
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Katherine ·
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    We both have jobs and live together, no one has financial stake in our lives but ourselves. His parents actually borrow money from HIM, not the other way around.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it's understandable because you guys are so young that people will often likely think it's too fast. But at the end of the day it's your life and if you feel it is right, be happy and go with it and trust in your instincts. Only you know what's truly the best for you
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  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    You are both legal and financially responsible adults. You don't have to listen to these people. It hurts that they don't support you so maybe they don't need to be invited to the wedding.

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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Definitely try to distance yourself from the negativity. Easier said than done I know.. I'm sorry you are dealing with the BS! Just keep doing you ♥️♥️
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  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    Tell them how to make the check payable.

    For their unsolicited opinions, you will be charging a fee to assist with paying your bills because the only opinions you entertain are from those that are financially supporting your life decisions.
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  • Mandi
    VIP May 2016
    Mandi ·
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    This!! And try to ignore them as best as you can.

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  • Shannon
    Expert June 2021
    Shannon ·
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    Only you know what is good for you. I don't know you or your situation, but to play Devil's Advocate a bit, I got married at 22 after being with my exhusband since I was 17. I got divorced at 33 for no other reason than that we grew up, were no longer the same people or wanted the same things, and grew apart. I'm not saying that will happen as I know many people who were childhood sweethearts and are still going strong, but I am considering that may be why some people are concerned for you.

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  • Monique
    Devoted August 2020
    Monique ·
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    You're literally being a person that OP came here to vent about..
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    You are living together so obviously you have financial issues worked out. That I think
    is one of the biggest causes for divorce and fights. You have been together for a while bit are not rushing to get married. I think those tend to be the biggest problems with your couples. I think you will be fine
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    That was a bit uncalled for. She was just trying to provide some perspective into why people might be reacting to their super young marriage in the way that they are.
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  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    As long as you aren't expecting someone to pay for your wedding that doesn't approve of it, I'd just ignore all these people who are saying this.

    I've been with my FH since I was 15 and I'm 25 now. People told us when we were 18 that we shouldn't be together because we were too young and should be out "experiencing life". Well we've stayed together, got engaged last year after 8.5 years of dating, and now people are telling me in insane because we are having a 2.5 year engagement and not getting married until Oct 2020.

    Everyone is like "why aren't you rushing to get married? Don't you just want to be married already?!" AND "You know you're not getting any younger. You should've gotten married earlier so that you could have kids earlier. You'll be 28 by the time you have a baby, if not way older than that. Times-a-tickin!!"

    So literally anything you do, people are going to have something to say. They would've said we were idiots if we got married at 20. And now that we are an "appropriate age", we've waited too long and we're gonna be "old parents".

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  • F
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    If you are living together and financially stable, then just ignore the comments of others. I've known plenty of people that have gotten married around your age, and they are still together. Some are not. What matters is that you two are happy and ready to marry. Yes, a lot of people wait nowadays due to college, careers, wanting to travel or whatever else. But if you are ready and want to do all of that with your SO as a husband and wife, then I say go for it! Happy planning and Congrats on your engagement!!
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  • F
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    "Old parents" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I cant believe people sometimes. I am 30, my FH is 36. We get married in August. IF we decide to have kids it wont be for at least another 2 years, so I would be 32/33 and he will be 38/39 before we even start TRYING! Granted, if we do decide to have kids, it will most likely only be 1, but I've basically been telling people to stay out of my uterus when they ask.
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  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
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    I've had people say we should just start trying now. And i'm like nope sorry. What is wrong with people?! hahahah

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  • Monique
    Devoted August 2020
    Monique ·
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    "Stay out of my uterus" lol
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