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Dedicated September 2018

Jr. Bridesmaid advice.

Meaghan, on February 19, 2018 at 10:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 15

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Hello ladies I need advice. I originally really didn’t want children in the wedding but my fiancé’s sister is 8. I know I need to have her obviously since she’s his sister and now two of his kid cousins are invited this way his sister isn’t the only child. But now his step mom keeps insisting that his sister be a flower girl and I didn’t want her a part of the wedding party because she is very hyper and isn’t well behaved at all. I said she’s too old to be a flower girl but I spoke with my mother and we considered having her as a JR. bridesmaid just to please my fiancé’s family. But I have no idea what to do with a jr bridesmaid. Do they walk first before my bridesmaids and do they stand with them or does the Jr sit down with her mom? Like I said I’m worried of her not being well behaved so I don’t know what to do. My fiancé’s family is extremely controlling and I don’t want there to be problems between us if I didn’t include his little sister in the wedding some how.

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Shannon, on February 19, 2018 at 10:02 PM

Super August 2018
AugustBride · on February 19, 2018 at 10:29 AM
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My FH's sister is 13. She's going to be the ring bearer. I wasn't going to put her as a JR Bridesmaid because I honestly thought she was too young. Also, if I put her as a BMs, he would have to put my brother as his GM and he wasn't into the idea lol. So we'll just let her walk and deliver the rings.
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July 1993
WED18 · on February 19, 2018 at 10:40 AM
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Personally I think 8 is a good age for a flower girl and too young for a jr BM, but whether to include her or not should be a discussion between you and your FH.
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Super February 2018
Married and Loving It! · on February 19, 2018 at 10:56 AM
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Tough one- I would just give her a corsage or something and have her sit in the front row - people know she is special but not have her in the wedding
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Master July 2018
RZ_ToBe · on February 19, 2018 at 10:57 AM
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If she's an energetic girl, why not have her greet guests and hand out programs (if you have any)? Or can she be in charge of the guest book and gift table at the reception? You shouldn't squeeze her into the wedding party just to please someone, especially if you're not real keen on the idea. The sister could always just sit with the parents as well - not everyone needs a "job" to feel important. That's just my opinion, though!
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VIP October 2020
ThePeoplesBride · on February 19, 2018 at 10:58 AM
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Honestly, it might be better for her to be a flower girl in this situation. Give her a basket that has a prearranged bouquet in it so she doesn't get to fling petals everywhere. After she walks down the aisle she can sit with her mother in the first few rows.

As far as I'm aware Jr. Bridesmaids are treated the same as bridesmaids except that they don't attend the, often adult themed, bachelorette party. They wear the same style of dress, hold a bouquet, walk down the aisle, and stand the side of the altar like all of the other bridesmaids.

My sister is going to be a junior bridesmaid because by the time our date rolls around she will be 3 months shy of 16. If she were any younger she would have been a flower girl.
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VIP October 2020
ThePeoplesBride · on February 19, 2018 at 11:00 AM
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Good point!
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Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on February 19, 2018 at 11:12 AM
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At the age of 8, she is way too young to be a junior bridesmaid. That's not really an appropriate role for an 8 year old. That's for a teenager. Actually, she's the perfect age to be a flower girl. Prior to Pinterest and the need for oh-so-cute flower children in wagons, the typical age of a flower girl was 7-12 years old.
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Expert April 2019
Allie · on February 19, 2018 at 11:26 AM
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Yes! THIS!
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on February 19, 2018 at 12:05 PM
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I’d go flower girl over junior bridesmaid. 8 isn’t too old and it’s a more causal role.
...if you want to include her, that is.
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Master April 2018
Powers2 · on February 19, 2018 at 12:22 PM
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So you know that once you are married, this little girl will be your sister in law, right? The way you are talking about her in this post makes it seem like she is some random child to you.

Anyway, I think 8 is the perfect flower girl age, but you can always ask her or ask her mom (who I am assuming is your MIL to be?) what would be appropriate. She doesn't really have to "do" anything as a Jr Bridesmaid, but you can get her a dress in a matching color to wear and I bet that would make her feel very loved and included in the day.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on February 19, 2018 at 1:07 PM
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I think 8 is the perfect age for a flower girl. I had 3 flower girls, ages were 11, 9, and 7.
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Dedicated September 2018
Meaghan · on February 19, 2018 at 1:37 PM
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I know she will be my sister. My fiancé isn’t close to his family at all and so therefore I’m not either. He’s closer to my family then his own. His step mom is the one who keeps saying to make her a flower girl. His family is extremely controlling and even though they barely talk to their son, when they do it’s about what they want for the wedding. It’s just frustrating especially if they won’t contribute a dime I don’t want them controlling our wedding. I didnt want her in the wedding really because of her behavioral issues. It worries me.
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Devoted October 2018
Danielle · on February 19, 2018 at 2:54 PM
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Junior Bridesmaid Duties in Detail. ... A girl (typically aged 9 to 14) who is too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a full-fledged bridesmaid can join up as a junior bridesmaid. Younger members of the bridal party often treat their roles with great seriousness and love to get in on the action. Via Theknot.com. I’m having my FHs niece as a Jr bridesmaid (she’s 9) because both of my nieces ages 3 and 7 will be flower girls.
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Beginner March 2019
Shannon · on February 19, 2018 at 10:02 PM
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My cousin will be 14 and is my maid of honor 😂 Her SIL is my matron of honor. I'm super close to her so I didn't want her to be a junior bridesmaid. I get that you don't necessarily want her in it, but she will be family and it's honestly like 1 hour on one day. If you, your fiancé, and his step mom talk to her about behavior, I don't see why she couldn't be a junior bridesmaid. I don't think she'll act out with that many people watching. She'd be embarrassed. Let's face it, the only photos you'll really have out are of you and your FH, not the entire wedding party. Let her feel important.
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