Bethany
Dedicated February 2021

Jeans at a wedding??

Bethany, on February 10, 2021 at 6:57 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 14
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I’ve gotten a few questions from guests asking if it’s ok for them to wear jeans to my wedding. On the invitation we put “semi formal” yet we’re still getting asked and someone through work expressed they would not be coming to the wedding if they couldn’t wear jeans.
Does this drive anyone else crazy?? If it were a casual wedding that’s fine but the fact i put the semi formal attire on the invitation (to avoid this) and i’m still getting asked if they can wear them just bothers me. I feel like it’s almost disrespectful in a way?
Also - how do i approach these people without being harsh? I hate to tell people what to wear but i think “semi formal” still gives plenty of room to be independent in your clothing.

14 Comments

Latest activity by Bethany, on February 11, 2021 at 12:15 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag

    Semi formal is the default for weddings. It is best described as Sunday Best attire you would wear to church on Sundays or Christmas/Easter.

    Many posts on WW go so far as to suggest banning guests in jeans from attending. But most couples would be happy that person is making the effort to attend and their clothing choice ir irrelevant in the long run.

    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    I can never understand why anyone would think jeans is an acceptable thing to wear to a wedding. Even a casual wedding, I wouldn't wear jeans to. I specifically said on our wedding website that while we wanted everyone to be comfortable we kindly ask that you don't wear jeans, shorts or sneakers. Thankfully everyone complied.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I'm not sure why you need to figure out how to approach them if they are asking you. And since they are asking for your input, then of course it's completely fine to tell them that jeans don't match your semi-formal reception plans.

    And sure, I think it's odd to want to wear jeans to a semi-formal wedding, but at least they ARE asking you so you have time to clarify. I wouldn't waste time worrying about if them liking jeans (but not wearing them, because they did ask ahead of time) is disrespectful or not.

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I think you give them a visual like this. You could also put a few examples of semi-formal on your wedding website if you have one. Jeans at a wedding?? 1

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    If someone outright said if they cant wear jeans they’re not going then I would just tell them to stay home. I personally don’t care what my guests wear however I also don’t think any of my guests would show up in jeans. Anyhow that’s utterly disrespectful that they care more about jeans than attending your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Well to the person who said they aren’t coming, “Thanks for letting me know!”
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    OMG- had someone ask me this the other day! We put semi formal, told him as such but he still wondered. Church clothes, business casual! What more do you want me to say???
    • Reply
  • MaryEllen
    Expert October 2016
    MaryEllen ·
    • Flag
    Jeans never belong at a wedding in my opinion. Not for guests, groomsmen or groom.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Hi Bethany! I agree wearing jeans to a wedding or asking the bride to wear jeans is not appropriate. I’m all for being comfortable and not needing to buy a new outfit for a wedding, but I think our casual culture takes it a bit too far sometimes. Heck, when I was broke and first started dating my now husband, he brought me to a wedding and I borrowed one of my friend’s dresses to wear.
    The next guest who asks, I would say “the men guests are wearing dockers and collared shirts and the women guests are wearing either maxi dresses or dressy pants”. Like the bride doesn’t have enough to worry about during these times! 😂 Good luck girlie ❤️
    • Reply
  • Aubrianna
    Dedicated January 2022
    Aubrianna ·
    • Flag

    Dear Bethany,

    As a southern bride who has been to many southern weddings, I feel your pain. Unfortunately, this is exactly why we will be putting "Black-Tie" on the wedding invitation. My grandmother has already expressed disdain for this, saying "you can't dress nice in formal wear!" She doesn't understand that her really nice dark denim blue jeans aren't going to keep her warm either (in fact, wearing undergarments and even nice leggings, boots and fluffy socks with her really nice long dress would keep her 100% more warm)Smiley ups ... Also, after living somewhere where there were seasons other than summer, I know for a fact you can dress for any occasion in any weather- we had to lol. You can pick up a perfectly fine pair of slacks at Walmart for less than $15, so I see no excuse.

    Personally, I would politely explain the dress code to them and kind of leave it at that. When you go into a fine dining restaurant with a hat on, you can't barter with the hostess about whether you have to take it off or not. That's just audacity...

    I hope that you don't have any other trouble and wish you happy planning!

    Aubrianna Abbema

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy November 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    To those people you just have to say NO!!!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Righhhttt! That's what I was thinking too
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
    • Flag

    Yea, if they're asking just let them know up-front,

    "Can I wear jeans?" "No, we recommend slacks and a nice shirt or dresses."

    "If I can't wear jeans I'm not coming." "Sorry to hear that! We'll miss you at the wedding, but thanks for letting me know now!"

    People are rude. I don't won't your jeans in my wedding photos? Honestly even at a rustic wedding. Like. You can wear jeans everyday, this is someone's wedding. They're spending a ton of money, you can at least put on nice clothes.

    • Reply
  • Bethany
    Dedicated February 2021
    Bethany ·
    • Flag
    Thank you all for your input! i don’t think there’s any way you can “dress up” jeans to make them wedding appropriate. i don’t want to be a bridezilla but it’s my special day and if i say the attire is semi formal i don’t see why jeans are even in question... it’s just crazy to me!
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