It’s falling apart. :(

Could you have a post wedding celebration in Texas? It could be casual to help keep the cost down. You could do your dancing at that celebration and have your family and friends attend.

Is it too late to change your wedding plans? If you and FH both want a different type of wedding why are you having it in Utah?

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.

What if you have the traditional Mormon reception following the wedding (since it will mostly be your family anyway) then have a separate party later to celebrate YOUR way with your husband and your family and friends? (Like a cookout with music and dancing) This way you can honor both your families and their traditions.

*mostly HIS family

How come you are having the wedding in Utah? Could you change your plans to have the wedding in TX? If not I agree with PP’s that you need to have a TX celebration afterwards so you can at least have some fun. Personally I would not be willing to have an event that was opposite of how I envisioned my wedding. There has to be some kind of compromise?

View Quoted Comment I wish!

It really boils down to money. We are making a trip to Texas this week for “meet the parents.” Then I’ve got another trip to Texas in August for my grandpas 90th birthday.

If we had the wedding in Texas his 4 daughters couldn’t come.

The same goes for a fun reception in Texas later. It would be difficult financially.

View Quoted Comment Cost. We can’t afford two receptions.
My fiance is happy having the more southern reception. He has explained to his family what we want. The problem is, they aren’t going to want to participate.

As my number of guests get smaller and smaller, I just don’t see the point of having one at all. especially since his family won’t enjoy it.

View Quoted Comment We want his daughters there. He has 4 girls and it wouldn’t be easy to work out getting them to Texas.
we are down to 75 days before the wedding. I have 5 people who are coming from my side.

I'd just elope at this point.

I agree with crystal

Could you plan a vow renewal in Texas a year later and have a reception the way you would like to have it then? My FH and I are getting married in the US and a year later renewing our vows in Canada so that our family can attend. (We live in the US and all of our family is back in Canada) You could try to cut down on costs in Utah, so that you could plan another event in Texas.

Do not go through with this wedding! I am in the same situation, marrying into a more conservative version of Dutch Reformed, and I too had the dream of dancing at my wedding since I was a little girl. It took long conversations with my FH until we agreed on some compromises between what our families would be comfortable with ... ultimately it’s your and your FHs wedding and what makes the two of you happy is most important.. it’s the beginning of your marriage, it’s important for you to dance and celebrate it? Then you need to dance.. if it’s important to you to be surrounded by family and friends when you commit your life to this man, then you need to wait until that can happen... I was in the same situation and we had to compromise on where the wedding took place (not his church, neutral ground between our families) and the festivities at the ceremony.. but in the end we’re both going to thoroughly enjoy our day, not regret it!!

Hope this helps!

Whats a typical Utah Mormon reception?

Can you make the best of the people you have, and keep the dances fun and on the traditional side, like line dances, and such?

View Quoted Comment A formal processional. The wedding party stands in a line and everyone invited (mostly friends and people from church) show up and shake their hand. They stand around for a while and then leave. Sometimes they have cake. Sometimes they do gifts. It’s more like a very formal post wedding shower.

View Quoted Comment You know, I spoke with my fiancé last night, and that’s what we are going to do. We are just going to make the best of it.

e said he will pull people out to the dance floor if he has to.

He is such a great guy! I am so happy. After talk with him, I’ve decided I don’t care if have the most lame wedding reception ever. I am so happy, he and I will dance like dorks and forget anyone else who isn’t having a good time.

Don't go through with this wedding. (The wedding, not the marriage!)

Someone very close to me married into a very different family and culture than hers. The wedding that was supposed to be about her and her husband was anything but. NOTHING she wanted was done. Literally nothing. Only one family member was able to attend her wedding because his family decided when the wedding would be for them.... and she had about three weeks to invite people. She had one person out of all of her friends and family attend. They decided what food would be served. Where it would take place. Who would officiate. What colors and decorations would be used. She regrets is to this day.

Additionally, because she did not put her foot down with his family, they now think she's a push-over and try to control EVERYTHING about the marriage. How their child is raised. Where they live. Where they work. What they eat.... Needless to say, it's damaged the marriage to the point that it's probably beyond repair. It's falling apart right now, and the bossy, restrictive, unsatisfying wedding was the first brick to crumble. You could actually see the moment where the relationship went from comfortable and loving with respectful in-laws to strained and awkward with better-then thou in-laws. On the positive side, perhaps she'll have a chance to meet someone else and plan THEIR wedding together.

Continuing with this wedding is just a very bad omen, IMO. You aren't starting out together in the way YOU BOTH want it to. You are giving way too much power to his family. They may not end up like the situation I described above, but then again they might. I really think you should reconsider and get married in Texas. Have the wedding you both want. I think it will be easier and more beneficial in the long run to figure out how to get his daughters there for the wedding in Texas than to proceed with something you are obviously dreading.

Heyo!
I'm a "Utah Mormon" and I say dance at your wedding if you want to! Heck, I'd come dance with y'all if it would help hype people up! This feels like a Footloose kind of situation haha. You should dance to Footloose. That would be awesome.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Amy! Love that song.

Yeah, I just don’t want the formal wedding reception. I went to several “Texas Mormon” receptions. They danced a lot. Defiantly not trying to bash anyone. I just want us all to have a good time.

Spoke with my fiancé and he agrees. He is going to try and get people to let go and have a good time.

It’s nice to hear you’d be open to it. That gives me hope.