It’s all too much. i don’t want to plan a wedding

It sounds like you should elope or go to the courthouse. Your family doesn’t get to decide.

It’s ok! Breathe. 1) elope if that’s what you want be it’s YOUR wedding. Or 2) perhaps invite just immediate family & BFFs only and look for an all-inclusive package at venues so it’s the least amount of stress for you.


Planning a full on wedding is stressful. Don’t do it unless you really really want to!

Find an in between compromise. A casual wedding at a park, no sit down dinner, family and close friends, and simple food. Make it you but a wedding.

Elope! sounds like that’s what you really want. I do also agree you could do a small destination wedding at an all inclusive. Invite parents. Some resorts even have packages or free weddings.

Ignore what other people want and do what you want. I'm sure you love your parents, but what they want means nothing (to put it bluntly). It's your wedding and your money and your stress. It sounds like you would be dropping $10k on a wedding neither of you want to make your parents happy, which would make you miserable.

Microwedding. Invite just immediate family. Do the ceremony at a public park. Share a meal at a restaurant. Some restaurants have a ceremony space and do all the set up for you


Do what makes you happy. Are your parents opposed to a tiny wedding or are they opposed to the concept of you getting married without them present?

Elope and have a small intimate ceremony with close family and friends, and go to a small restaurant or even pavillion at a park for food. Keep it simple if that's what u want!

Sounds like you both want to elope, which is great. You could pick somewhere and have a ceremony with just you two. Alternatively, you could have a ceremony with immediate family and a dinner after or maybe a super small semi destination wedding. That would be an “occasion” and not as cost effective but would give you the chance to have your closest friends and family celebrate with you. Ultimately it’s a decision for you and your fiancé!

View Quoted Comment This is what we’re doing. I suggest doing this or eloping. If they’re not happy with it they’ll get over it.

I don't have any advice but just know you are not alone! Everyone tells me the same things, "Do whatever makes you happy" but then at the same time they are asking, "Have you guys set a date yet?" BUT nobody seems to want to help me at all. I've never planned a wedding before and I just feel kind of lost in the whole process. We also don't live near any of our family so I definitely feel alone. I would be fine eloping but my fiance really wants a wedding so I want to give him that special moment.

On a similar boat to you, I myself am thinking a small elopement with our closest friends and immediate family will be our go to. $10k is a lot when trying to save for a home, I'm trying to spend under $6k max with everything. I found this website that has awesome insight on venues, it lets you search by venues that have elopement packages. Best of luck

https://www.herecomestheguide.com/

If eloping is really out of the question, does anyone in your family or close friends have a nice backyard? Maybe you could do a small ceremony there.

It is your day!! Not your parents’. Wouldnt you rather elope and remember your day as a happy one instead of a stressful one?

Follow your heart. I think wedding planning is stressful lol, the cost makes me sick. I wish we would’ve planned for something smaller and more intimate. My wish may come true though due to covid lol at this point I don’t know.

I think it's ok to elope and then later on have a reception. that's what my friends did. they realized they wanted to celebrate with people so they had a reception months months later after they eloped

It's ok, hun. You need to do what is best for you and FH. Have a micro wedding, elope, or go to the courthouse. You can have a celebration later on if you decide you want to.

Our families are both huge and all over the US, so we've decided to have a very small wedding with only parents, siblings, and the specific people we grew up with (a couple cousins and their parents), plus our very best friend each and all those people's SOs and kids. It still has come out to 54 invitees. If we invited everyone, family and friends, we're looking at around 300 people. We just don't want that.

We have decided to have a pig roast the following summer to celebrate with people, but even that isn't set in stone...

Ultimately, this is supposed to be a celebration for you. It wouldn't be a very happy occasion if you're upset the whole time, so truly - do what is right for the 2 of you. You do not need your parents' approval, either, as much as we would like them to support us, they are human, and sometimes their own "wants" get in the way.

Take a deep breath and let go of this stress. Do it your way. You do not need to please anyone on this but yourself and your partner. ::hugs::

I was in the exact same position. We were fine with eloping because I just can't fathom the idea of spending so much or all of the stress of planning. I'm too anxious for that. I know that his mom would have been emotionally devastated to not see her baby get married - so we opted for a microwedding. VERY micro. We are at 8-14 people including us.

I did a lot of searching in the area for micro-wedding or elopment packages, which means I don't really have to do much other than show up. I came across a hotel that offered a ceremony location and a board room for dinner. They offered us 50% off for choosing a weekday (there's no dancing or anything, since it's just dinner we felt fine doing a weekday). We are under 3k for everything - and could certainly cut that further.

Do what works for you and your fiancé. The wedding is supposed to be about you two, but the event has changed to where it’s about other people (friends, family, etc). Last year, my husband and I went through a similar situation and it became dreadful to plan something that was supposed to be a beautiful thing between two ppl. Spending $10k+ on a wedding was unrealistic. We set a date, found an amazing spot in San Diego that wouldn’t charge a fee if we kept our wedding party small, and agreed to only invite family and our best friend...10 people total. It helped that his best friend was an ordained minister (he had gotten ordained online a few years back). For a small reception, we made brunch reservations for only the wedding party, got a cake from Whole Foods, and picked up the bill. If extended friends and family, wanted to celebrate we invited them all to attend a beer festival that was going on later that afternoon, at their expense. Beer, food, music, sunshine and a place to sit and mingle. It was perfect. No stress of making the rounds, thanking everyone for coming (even though you paid the tab for them).

You don’t have to elope, but you can make it a very intimate celebration while keeping the costs down. If you are worried about hurting the feelings of others, preface it that you want to keep the ceremony small and intimate. If things work out later on, you can always celebrate with a reception later on in the form of a dinner party or barbecue.

Remember your wedding is about you two, it’ll help keep you focused when others impose their guilt. Good luck, and keep your head up.