Shaina
Expert October 2020

It’a over

Shaina, on June 8, 2020 at 9:39 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 19
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My heart is so broken. I know I am not a perfect person, but I tried and tried and gave us many chances because I loved him. He was my world and my rock. We were going through stuff but working through it. As soon as I was going to be able to keep moving forward with him I found out he cheated. He messaged another girl on Facebook telling her how pretty she was and how he would like to get to know her.


I woke up to his social media already changed and so I do the same but I was trying to give it some time. It’s all so fast for me and I feel so stupid for giving him chances and trying so hard. I feel like a weak person who can’t stop crying.
I don’t know how to get over this at all.

19 Comments

Latest activity by Audrey, on June 10, 2020 at 8:31 PM
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I'm so sorry to hear this Shaina. Based on all your posts, it really sounds like you did everything you could in this relationship. At the end of the day, it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. It was unfair to you to be putting in so much and not getting it in return. You will find someone who truly deserves you and makes you happy. It's OK to feel the way you're feeling, but know that you are not weak for being sad about this loss. You're grieving, and that is completely normal. He is the weak one for cheating and walking away. You showed strength by working hard at making things work.
    • Reply
  • Julie
    VIP February 2020
    Julie ·
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    Exactly this.
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    I'm very sorry. Just my two cents as someone who has been divorced: If being with someone breaks your heart and takes away your sense of worth, they are not the person for you. Being loved by the right person for EXACTLY the way you are, even on your worst days, is the most incredible feeling. I think everyone deserves that.

    I spent 9 years with the wrong person, and at the time it felt like such a huge loss. But looking back, it was the best possible decision. Every choice I made after that led me to who I have now, and I would go through all the misery again if it meant I'd have the same outcome.

    Be strong; it's okay to feel miserable and the grieving process takes time. But whatever you decide moving forward, know your worth and know that you deserve to be loved exactly as you are. If I may be so bold, never settle or change for someone else when you could have something better.

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    Shaina, I am so sorry you're going through this. You are not weak at all for crying - feeling the emotions is so much harder and takes so much more strength than bottling them up. I'm proud of you for knowing what you deserve and for being strong enough to go through all of this. We're here for you and you'll get through this. Smiley heart

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    So sorry Smiley sad i hope you'll be able to see the light from all this and that life has so much potential - that means there's still so much love out there waiting for you

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I'm so very sorry. He has showed you the type of person he is. It was definitely a warning sign when he told you that you were unattractive. Yib deserve someone that loves you not matter one. While it is totally okay to cry, don't let him make you feel worthless. You are beautiful and the right guy is out just waiting to meet you.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I am so sorry. At the end of the day there's nothing wrong with trying as that is what you should do in any relationship and you should know that you did your best and he didn't. This hurts right now and I can't even imagine how you feel because heartbreak does suck. Although to me she showed basically what he would have been like as a husband. While it may not seem like it now you are better off not being spiritually and legally married to someone like him because if he's going to cheat on you now he would have done it when you're married. You basically just avoided a snake and it may not seem like it now and you need to hurt as long as you need to but at some point I promise you you will look back and realize will a bullet you have dodged.
    • Reply
  • Ashshaw2022
    Dedicated May 2022
    Ashshaw2022 ·
    • Flag
    I was with someone for 9 years he was the father to 5 out of 8 of my kids he was physically emotionally abusive. We were engaged well he walked out on the kids and I and after that I left, I knew my worth what I wanted and didn’t want well fast forward I am about to get engaged he has the ring to a man who is my best friend who treats me like a queen who loves me and has taken the father roll to all 8 of my kids he’s an amazing man there are great men out there
    • Reply
  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
    • Flag

    EDIT: I just realized I misspelled the word "it's" wow brain is absolutely dead.

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  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    Yeah you're right. I always kept trying to put in work into us all the time and it hurt to see that He would do the things he did . I was trying soo hard and I loved him(still do -.-) in addition to the family judging everything I did. I was like I just really want us to work thats it , but man true colors are coming out. All I am wanting to know is how long this will take to get over. I don't want to feel more hurt after already being hurt.

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  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I appreciate your advice and your story. In the beginning I never really thought about marriage but straight shot to proposing to me. I was like I am getting married wow! Finally someone who woo's me and shows me he wants to see me and not use me. But no.

    • Reply
  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    Yeah I just know it is going to be so hard to actually get over and I just don't want to be hurting anymore. ugh

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  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    Me too. right now I am just sad and I can't recognize a lot of the things right now that could have been noticed earlier etc. Im afraid to ever let anyone else in again. If love is out there waiting for me I hope it would come at a time where I am fully healed.

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  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    Yeah. My family isn't the happiest about that and are saying the same things. I wanted to keep it limited because thats what I was afraid of, but now my dad is in a full on rage and my sister is just like no f's given for him my mom is just weirdly quiet. It is just weird.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I love your family's rage as it is justified lol. I really am so sorry and my heart does go out to you. In the long run you will see he was not for you and he will be someone else's problem because you deserve better.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    That's understandable, no one wants to be hurting. Prayers for you!

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry.

    I've been there - engaged, planning, and then having to cancel everything, because of a deep betrayal. It hurts, it's awful.

    Take care of yourself, grieve, get angry - get his stuff out of your place! (dump it on his parents' lawn, it's so cathartic) - and put yourself first.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    You will find an amazing person who will treat you the way you should be treated!!! Saying you’re unattractive is such a terrible thing, and you deserve someone better.
    It’s going to hurt so much right now, and your heart will need time to heal. But, after this is all over you will look back at this and laugh because you totally dodged a bullet!
    • Reply
  • Audrey
    Savvy October 2020
    Audrey ·
    • Flag
    I'm so sorry you're hurting. Take your time to wallow, but don't let his actions define you or change your heart. You're beautiful, caring, and loyal. Your perfect person will see that and cherish you!
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