Issues with future mil & mother/son dance

Hey Veronica, it's Veronica! Lol

Okay but seriously I understand what you're saying of how that could be offensive. I don't know anything about your backstory, but if this were me I would be annoyed but let it go. I mean this woman raised the man you're head over heels for so although it's your day, it wouldn't be your day if she never gave birth to him. It's probably hard for her to let go of her son and maybe she's bitter about it but I would just let her have this moment. It will go by quick, it will make her happy and it will avoid more problems.

Now if she starts to be a serious dictator about things like telling people they're invited when they're not or telling you FH to go behind your back, that's a different story you know?

Also I would prepare for some unfavorable comments about this....people on here are intense about certain topics and I can see this being one. Just my opinion!

Honestly, I think you’re taking the lyrics too seriously. I looked up the song and it’s quite beautiful. The parts you’re worried about are only in the first verse. Technically, his mom was the First Lady in his life and the rest of the song just kinda says he’s proud of his mom and where would he be without her. The lyrics in my father/daughter song included “I got two strong arms waiting to hold you when those mean days come along” but no one interpreted that as my dad will be there for me because my husband won’t. If your FH is okay with it, I would just let her have the song. It’s going to be hard for you and/or your FH to tell her they can’t do that song because you’re now the most important in his life. Of course you are and a song isn’t going to change that. If she usually gets her way, you’re going to have to pick your battles and this sounds too silly to get stressed over.

My FMIL didn't pick the mother/ son song. I feel that song should be picked by the FH. Most likely no one will be listening to the words of the song. But if you have friends like mine. They will listen and thats probably what my friends would remember from the wedding.

I've never heard the song. I'm going off of the lyrics you posted.

I'd have an issue with the lyrics, especially after my FH just said his vows to me. You're no longer his girl, you're his wife at this point.

I'm concerned that you've expressed you're bothered by the lyrics and FH isn't willing to stand up to his mom about this. I would have FH choose a different song (which you can help him choose if you want) and have him go to her and tell her what they will be dancing to.

I can totally see how that feels a little weird, but remember that SHE chose the song, not your FH. Those lyrics may be how she feels, but they are not an indication of how he feels or how he will prioritize you during your marriage. Maybe she believes he should put her first before you, maybe she just likes the song, maybe she picked it out of a hat and hasn't paid close attention to the lyrics at all... it's a little weird, but I would let her have this one and be confident in your FH's love and feelings for you. Your guests probably won't notice either.

Honestly the mother/son dance is between the mother and the son. I think you need to sit this one out. I think the song my FH chose for his mom is a little bit too much like a lullaby and not a song for a grown adult but hey, it’s his dance not mine.

Sorry but you're over reacting just a bit. It's just a song, and those are just lyrics. No one is going to be listening or paying attention that closely.

I would let it go. This is not a hill to die on. It's just a song that your FH did not even pick out himself.

I get not loving it, but I'd let this one slide. The one thing that worries me is that your FH said he didn't think it was a big deal but wants to let it go because his mom is used to getting what she wants. Let her have this one but I would make sure that you and your fiance prepare to fight more important battles as life goes on. This isn't a hill to die on, but when one comes up, be ready to fight.

My husband's sister wanted to do a spotlight dance with him. He was very uncomfortable so I made it so the DJ would play the osng later in the night and anyone could dance with them. There wasn't really anyone else dancing at the time, but no one noticed or thought it was weird.

"...he doesn't want to upset his mom because 'she's used to getting her way'..."

RED FLAG! Get yourself over to www.reddit.com/r/justnomil and nip this behavior in the bud! You should come first, always! And that song is super inappropriate.

The lyrics are little strange, but it's a song. As long as your FH doesn't live in accord with the lyrics you're fine. Let FMIL have the song. You'll have the man.

Uhh no. No no no. I would not be okay with that. I would be uncomfortable and feel like it's a bit of a slap to the face. Honoring her is important, but also, it's a celebration of your marriage. Mentioning that she should get it because she's "used to getting her way" would just make me want to super not let her have this. Ew.

I would want to make sure that your FH doesn't believe those lyrics especially after you raised the point to him and he seemed to dismiss your concerns saying she's used to getting her way.

I take issue with the lyrics too. You’re not crazy. If I was in your position, I’d be like “absolutely not.” Songs and sing lyrics matter.

Dude.... that would be so uncomfortable. No way.

I just ignore mine when she brought this up as well. She is used to getting her way as well. His mom is out of control sometimes. I just picked the song myself and her son my fiancé agreed to the song. He wanted something simple and short. He does not feel like he's close to his mom and does not want a song that requires a lot of moves.