Issues with Bridal Party

I’m hopefully someone can give me guidance. I’m so frustrated and at a point of boiling over. I don’t know where to even start. I got engaged last year and have been planning my wedding. Initially we were going to have a back yard wedding. My MOH and Bridesman had complained the whole time say it’ll will be hot and they need air conditioning. Please keep in mind my wedding is the middle of September at 3pm. I repeatedly stated that in the evening it gets cooler. I live in Pa so hot in September could be like 70° that’s not really hot. Fast forward I ended up booking a fire hall that I’m having an out door ceremony and in door reception. Every thing I do they are nit picky or judgmental. I’m not here to bash them, but my other two girls are great. As of recently I was doing my save the dates I got from hobby lobby my MOH said it looked like a 1st grader did them. I was immediately offended but kept it cool. Everyone has a right to an opinion, right? I went cheaper on save the dates so I could get the invites that I wanted. I’m a bride on a budget. This past year I couldn’t see them as much because of covid, I was trying to be safe and I know they didn’t practice precaution and my mom had diabetes and my dad is older. I wouldn’t want to do anything that would put them in harms way. There’s been a lot of little things that caused drama. But what I’m really needing guidance on is the night before my wedding I wanted to have a sleep over. Originally I was going to book a hotel room. My MOH didn’t want to sleep over so I said that’s fine but everyone else will be there. So she said about us staying at her place. At first I said no, then I thought maybe that’s not such a bad idea so I said yes let’s stay there. Now as of last week my Bridesman wanted us to stay at his place so then it was a big debate between where do we stay. Now I get a message from my MOH mother who is so nice she is graciously helping with the catering of my wedding. She said my itinerary for the day would have to be moved out because my MOH hot water tank isn’t big enough for the 5 of us to take showers and that it was best for us to just meet at the hair salon. Now I thought it would be best for us to all be together instead of me having to worry about where people are on the day of my wedding. Keep in mind the morning of my wedding we have to go down and set up for my ceremony outside. Then come back shower then go to the hair salon. Well now it’s like my MOH got what she wanted in the first place. Thankfully my one bridesmaid said me and my other bridesmaid can stay at her place which is 10 minutes away from the fire hall. My MOH and Bridesman will be staying at there own places and meeting us there at the fire hall in the morning. They don’t know that last part yet. I’m not sure if I should say something to them now or wait until the topic is brought up. In addition my mom and future mother in law are helping with my wedding. This leads into my last part of my frustration with my bridal shower my maid of honor was was trying to have my bridal shower in my Bridesman basement he only has installation down there I would’ve been so embarrassed maybe I’m sounding really ungrateful but I know the type of bridal shower I would give my maid of honor when she gets married and I would hope she would’ve done the same for me but it doesn’t sound like it. She was going to have it in her parents backyard and they would’ve had to bring their own chairs and it isn’t at all what I imagined. Now they decided on a place which is at state park pavilion. Initially she promised me that it was going to be inside at this one Restaurant that had a private room she was going to have everyone in my bridal party put in $100. Well now that’s out the window and she doesn’t know I know this but she paid $50 for the park for pavilion and she’s doing games and prizes and invites so like another $30. And she has someone doing decorations someone doing cake someone doing food and then she told my mom to get cups plates silverware Table Cloths so here my mom spent $1,300 on my dress and she’s working over time to pay it off and do you have the audacity to have my mom buy that stuff when it’s their responsibility I feel like. And they have my fiancé‘s mom getting stuff for my bridal shower too and it’s like they’re contributing so much to my wedding that they shouldn’t have to contribute anything to the bridal shower it’s different if they ask but to be asked is kind of ridiculous I think. I’m not harping about how much is spent but I did expect more not like financially but just to be inside in the air-conditioning considering they were complaining about me having my wedding outside and here they are having my bridal shower outside when they’re the ones that were complaining about having AC. I feel like my mother and my mother-in-law shouldn’t have to contribute anything unless they want to and something small not as much as they’re doing. Furthermore just explain my maid of honor get like $6000 back on income tax not to fail to mention how many stimulus checks did we get this year and she has a kid so she made out good. And to mention we worked all year, not only that I do realize she just bought a trailer and fixed it up and not counting that out but the fact that she is doing so little when she’s the one who supposed to be doing the most as what’s frustrating to me. Last week I said to her Because my one friend said down in the south they have a thing where everyone brings like a bottle of wine or alcohol to the bridal shower so that it can stock the bar for the wedding. So I told my maid of honor that that I wanna have people bring a bottle of wine to my bridal shower she fought me on it she didn’t want me to do it. And I put my foot down Normally I don’t do that I have a problem putting my foot down and you’re doing what I want because I’m a people pleaser so I’d rather make myself unhappy to make other people happy and I had a point where it’s like I’m not doing that anymore especially when it comes to me and my fiancé‘s wedding. So I told her no that’s what I want and I instantly had to reach out to my one bridesmaid who is my niece she’s around the same age as me and tell her so that way she can make sure that it’s on the invite. My fiancé and I are saving up to buy a house and spending money on wine we weren’t gonna have as much wine there versus doing it this way it’ll help a stocker bar and I’ll just have to buy a keg. By no means am I trying to sound ungrateful because I am grateful I am for everything that you know I’m getting help with do you guys have any guidance on what I should do? My niece who’s a bridesmaid it was around the same age as me wants to confront them and have them tell them to be at a different place for the bridal shower and for the night before my wedding she was graciously going to buy us a hotel room and I told her no because she’s getting married next year and I’m her maid of honor and I’d rather her save that money for her wedding so my other bridesmaid is going to stay at her house but I don’t know if I should bring that up or wait until my maid of honor and bridesman addresses it with me. Sorry for the long rant I appreciate any guidance given, Thank you. Before I forget to my maid of honor was trying to tell me what to do with my dresses because my dress has some lace in it and my flower girl has lace in her dress so my maid of honor said all the other girls dresses should have lace in it. And like personally that’s not what I want I wanted everyone to pick what they wanted as long as it looks good and is long and you know flows together well that’s fine with me. OK I’m officially done ranting lol