Is total honesty always necessary?

As much as some may think it's not a big deal, this is one of those honesty is the best policy, however I am intrigued that it's never come up or you haven't corrected him. It's not shameful that you won't be his first, but you should tell him. Not telling him is lying by omission and is not a good way to start off a marriage. Do you think he will think less of you, get angry, sad, etc.?

Also, depending on the kind of wedding you have and how late it goes, you will both probably be too tired to anything other than sleep.

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Thank you.

Regardless of whether or not he’d find out otherwise, it still seems like an important discussion to have. I’m assuming that his assumption and feelings towards sex is rooted in some greater belief system, and it’s important for both of you two be on the same page regarding a lot of these types of things and about your (both of your) past relationships.

This is something you should have been honest with him about from the very beginning. The fact you'd kept this a secret the entire time is a major red flag. He deserves complete and total honestly, but for some reason you've decided to deceive him. Do not enter your marriage lying to him.

I would never suggest starting a marriage on a lie. If you’re grown and mature enough to get married, you’re grown and mature enough to be honest with one another.

This is definitely something I would tell him about, and I would tell him well in advance of the wedding. Even if he'd never find out otherwise, he should know the truth on this subject.

I agree with every one else, you need to tell him. That is a heavy weight for you to be carrying around. As difficult as it is now to discuss this with him, imagine what it will be like once you are married! I would tell him as soon as possible and get it over with so you can stop feeling guilty.

Congrats on your engagement! What has been your response to his comments about this topic? I think you definitely need to say something. Trust is a very important thing in a relationship. You don’t need to go into details but i d definitely say something. Hopefully he takes it well but in the future if possible you should clear up any false assumptions about things when they occur. Best of luck to you.

I agree you should tell him, but I wouldn't say you're lying to him. It seems problematic to me that he assumed something based on a value you apparently don't share. I think the more important conversation to have is what's important to both of you and is it a deal breaker if you don't share those values.

If your future husband is making a big deal out of "being the first" it sounds like maybe his ideas regarding sex may be disfunctional and possibly toxic. I'd definitely have the conversation, and if he gets upset with you for not being a virgin then maybe that's a side of him you need to see before you get married and decide if you're okay with it. I wouldn't wait until after your married to find out he may be possessive or controlling of your body (not saying he is, but the possibility is there).

I would sit down and talk to him about it. You don't want it to come up and have him find out from someone else. That would be more hurtful.

You have to tell him. If he has a problem with it, I think that could indicate that the's not going to be a good partner -- or at the very least, he's a little too immature to be making this commitment.

Factors that are more important than hymen status: love, mutual respect, shared values when it comes to, for example, money, pretty much everything.

Short answer: Tell him.

I understand you don't want to disappoint him since he been wanting to wait.
You guys can still wait but I think you should let him know. If you're already hiding stuff from him, what would future be like?

If you are not able to be honest, then being in a relationship and getting married is not the best thing for you. Past intimate partners is a pretty big thing to keep secret and being dishonest doesn’t serve anyone.

I would be honest with him, but I would expect a reaction from him, less about not being a virgin and more about being deceived for your whole relationship. I hope you can work past this.

You should change your profile picture - this is a public forum and you are worried about hiding something from FH...