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FilleNouvelle
Expert April 2018

Is this weird? Destination wedding gifting ettiquette

FilleNouvelle, on April 20, 2018 at 6:53 PM Posted in Registry 0 38
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So I got married at the beginning of the month overseas. Was a fantastic night, and I believe everyone enjoyed themselves!

In terms of our gift registry, we had a pretty small registry (maybe 50 items), in hopes that people would get the hint and give us cash. Our registry sold out the week before the wedding, and I assumed that meant others would be bringing a card. To my surprise, we only got cards from 5 people, and only 2 of those with actual cash gifts inside.

Now, I'm not about to go demand money from people of course, but right now it's looking like about 50% of the guest list did not gift. Isn't that weird? I've been to destination weddings in the past and have always given a gift on top of that, but do other people maybe feel differently? Do you think we'll get more as time goes on?

And if this is it and there's no more gifts to come, that's fine. But I just found it very strange! We hosted our guests extremely well (open bar, late night snack, plated gourmet meal, etc.), so I doubt we missed something that would cause people to be offended or anything.

Thoughts?


38 Comments

Latest activity by MrsV1027, on December 6, 2019 at 9:16 AM
  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    I'm planning a destination wedding and do not expect a gift. People are already traveling paying for lodging food (aside from the wedding) and everything else to be there.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Super May 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    I think that is a bit weird, yes. People may gift less at a destination wedding because of travel costs involved, but it would be weird that they wouldn't gift all together. I suspect that people either forgot the gift in the hype of traveling, and you will be receiving more throughout the next couple of weeks, or they brought a card, but forgot to bring it to the reception. In either case, I would expect to get a few more cards as time goes on. In the meantime, finish your thank you cards for the people who have already gifted you something, and be on the lookout if somebody asks if you received their gift (and you didn't). Did you have a card box at the reception?

    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    Ahhhhh, yeah no my gift is my presence. I assume just about everyone got on a plane and had a hotel room for a few nights and had to eat etc. This is the second post I’ve seen by a bride who’s been surprised by the lack of gifting for a DW, and I’m surprised you are surprised!
    • Reply
  • FilleNouvelle
    Expert April 2018
    FilleNouvelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yup, had a card box there

    • Reply
  • FilleNouvelle
    Expert April 2018
    FilleNouvelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Ok, sure. I can buy that maybe people thought it was expensive and all of that. But to not give a card even? Like without money?

    • Reply
  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
    • Flag

    If I travelled to a destination wedding, I wouldn't bring a gift. I think it asks a lot of your guests already.

    • Reply
  • Miaaa
    Super January 2018
    Miaaa ·
    • Flag

    I think it's odd if you didn't even get a card (even with no money). I understand why some people would give less (or not at all) for a DW; however, to not even give a card expressing well wishes is odd to me.

    • Reply
  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    They could have forgotten the card while getting ready to leave it felt weird giving a card without money. Honestly I find none this weird but I might be in the minority. We decided to have the DW and are beyond honored and a little humbled our friends and family were so quick to spend hard earned money and vacation time for our wedding. Them being their is gift enough to me and I wouldn't think twice about not getting a card.

    • Reply
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    When you choose a destination wedding, you choose to shift a great deal of the expense of a wedding onto your guests. The presence or absence of a $1 card from the dollar store is so unimportant in the big picture. They already showed how much they care about you by spending a small fortune to attend your wedding.

    • Reply
  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
    • Flag
    We just went on a week long trip for a friend's destination wedding in Mexico and didn't give a gift. Between the flights, hotel and then all the dinners out during the whole week we spent close to $5000. They didn't even have a gift table/card box.

    We're also planning a destination wedding for just parents and siblings in August and I've told everyone they better not get us gifts lol
    • Reply
  • Mags
    Super July 2018
    Mags ·
    • Flag
    Their plane tickets and hotel stay were their gift to you. I personally would still give a monetary gift but most peopl feel that they've spent enough (which technically they have). I wouldn't expect more gifts.
    • Reply
  • FilleNouvelle
    Expert April 2018
    FilleNouvelle ·
    • Flag

    Hmm, ok. I get what everyone's saying, it's just not something I would ever think to do. I should also mention that while this wedding was overseas, it was only a DW for maybe half the guest list. And it was a mix of people from both places that didn't give anything.



    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    Generally most people dont travel with a wedding card packed, so I wouldn't be to bummed about that detail. No gift? Yeah, gifting for a destination wedding isn't the norm. Muriel is 100% correct. You are pretty fortunate to get something from 50% of your guests.
    • Reply
  • Jables
    Dedicated May 2019
    Jables ·
    • Flag
    I would have given a card but definitely not anything else above my presence being there. I know of a few people that have gone to destination weddings that did no give gifts as well due to cost and time off work to be there. Maybe if they gave a card for earlier events like your shower if you had one they didn't think to give another? Maybe they felt bad giving only a card.
    • Reply
  • Heaven
    Dedicated February 2019
    Heaven ·
    • Flag
    I don't know the specifics nor have I ever attended a DW but had I seen a small registry I would have assumed (I know terrible, never assume) that you didn't need or want anything. Also, with travelling it's a pain to try and bring along extra things, especially a gift, that may be bulky or take up space. I certainly wouldn't want to have an added expense on top of travel and lodging to get to a DW. Maybe they are mailing the gift or card? Who knows but it is a bit odd that half of the guests didn't leave anything, even a card with well wishes.
    • Reply
  • RZ_ToBe
    Master July 2018
    RZ_ToBe ·
    • Flag
    I find it odd that there wasn't at least a card. Sure, it's expensive to attend destination weddings and it's harder to gift something, but I'm the type that will ALWAYS get a card, even if it's a dollar store one.
    • Reply
  • hi_bride
    Dedicated October 2018
    hi_bride ·
    • Flag
    I guess I’m the unpopular opinion here but I would never go to a wedding without a card & monetary gift regardless if it was local or a DW. I’m surprised by some of these responses. If traveling to the wedding was too much of a financial hardship for me, I would decline the invitation. Attending a DW is obviously expensive but after spending several thousand dollars on a vacation (let’s face it, that’s what it is) I don’t feel like it’s that hard to buy a $3 card and place $100 in it...
    • Reply
  • Erica
    Dedicated November 2019
    Erica ·
    • Flag
    If I were to have a destination wedding I’d never ask the guest to bring a gift because they spent money to go to your wedding. A regular wedding people don’t have to pay to go see you get married so it’s a nice gesture to bring a gift.

    id be happy they went to your wedding because it really is hard for people to get days off and spend so much money to go to a destination wedding
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    Sorry the only weddings I’ve been to where we travelled “overseas” all had something on their website like, your presence is gift enough so no gift was given.
    • Reply
  • A
    Beginner June 2018
    Ann ·
    • Flag
    I am having a destination wedding and not expecting gifts, we just are passing along please no gifts through word of mouth. I was still planning on putting out a card box in case people choose to give a card, but now I am rethinking putting out a card box?
    • Reply

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