Is this rude?

1). Yes, it is very inappropriate to invite people to your engagement party who will not be invited to your wedding.

2). Send STDs if you want to those invited to the wedding/reception only.

3). IMO, wait until the holidays then send out a holiday card from the new MR. and MRS to everyone.

It is rude to invite people to a gift giving party (assuming someone is throwing this party for you and you aren't throwing one yourself?) and not inviting them to the actual wedding. To me, I'm good enough to be invited to a little party to congratulate you and give you something, but not good enough to be there to witness your day.

Don't be sending anyone any type of "invitation/announcement" if they aren't actually invited.

Agree with PP.

It definitely would be rude. Also I would feel a little confused and upset if I got an announcement that you were getting married but then never got invited to the wedding. I agree to the holiday card idea if you want to announce it

Thanks guys! I wasn't sure which would be rude.. I want to keep everyone happy. I cant expect to everyone to pack up and travel to our wedding but don't want anyone to feel left out. I wouldn't really expect gifts at the engagement party. I'm very new and naive with this. I really appreciate your advice! Thank you again.

It's also rude to host your own engagement party, just to complete the circle.

It's perfectly appropriate to send our wedding announcements if you desire after the wedding is over. This shouldn't be seen as a gift grab, since you aren't inviting them attend anything or even witness anything, you're just informing them that something has happened. That being said since everyone is on Facebook this is sort of useless now. I think in the past announcements were a way of letting family and friends know you got married so they hear it from you, but now everyone will know from Facebook and often engagements are so long that everyone knows before you are married even if they aren't invited. So you can easily skip any announcements if you wish.

Stephanie, it's rude to invite someone to an engagement party and have them show up and celebrate, and then follow up with an announcement. That's what people are saying. It's a faux pas.

Crystal welcome to WW! Please change your avatar so we can get to know you! Double ring posts are associated with spam.

Yea it's rude. Who ever is invited to the bridal shower. Or engagement party. Should be invited to the ceremony.

It's very rude and a quick way to have people think low of you. Even if you may say you don't want gifts at the party, people will still assume you expect it and feel used.

I totally get your problem. We did a very small destination wedding. So here's what I think: is it rude to invite people to the engagement party that aren't coming... probably but I understand why you would do it. We invited just the people going so that they could all meet each other. We debated about a few others (my grandma who was very ill, a few others) but we decided against it. The gift issue for an engagement party doesn't have to be an issue. We didn't get gifts at the engagement party. Honestly I didn't know people do give gifts. We did receive a few cards but nothing more. And we were totally good with that!

In regard to the invite.... send those only to those going. If you send it to more they will think they are invited. People will start to know via social media but that's fine.

We absolutely loved our destination wedding and would not do it any other way! Have tons to fun!!!

Yes, it's RUDE. There is NO REASON to waste time and energy on announcements--because if I'm not invited to the wedding, I really don't care. Also, you can have events and invite people who can't be at the wedding. We didn't have an engagement party and you don't need one. in fact, I don't see the point. You are having a wedding, don't have too many effing' parties for yourself. Like why do you need an engagement party & a wedding? the wedding is what we're celebrating.

My fiancé and I were on the business end of something like this... we were invited to an engagement party as were a bunch of our friends. We got our invites to the destination wedding a month or 2 after, but none of the other friends who were invited to the engagement party did. Then they got their invites like 3 weeks before the wedding. Not exactly sure what happened there but it was super awkward for my fiancé and I thinking we were the only ones who were invited after this engagement party that we all went to AND all our friends felt like after thoughts... I would keep it consistent, ESPECIALLY within friend groups.

Some friends of ours had a destination wedding and how they included people back home was to invite people to a low-key reception back in their hometown (I'm talking super lowkey aka in their back yard). They sent out invites to the reception and they threw out the casual invite in person to people like us who weren't in the wedding party that if we wanted to go to their DW we we're welcome to. We didn't end up going to either because of travel costs but I didn't feel like they were rude that they invited us to the reception and not *really* the wedding, we ended up sending them a gift from their registry and called it a day lol

Don't do announcements. People will know from the word spreading around and because of social media. If you feel that you MUST...go with the holiday card idea.