Is this enough to ask for a Black Tie event?

Do whatever you want! even if you are having a BBQ if you want people to be black tie do ettt

its the only day where you can "request" what people wear that aren't your kids or FH

Ha ha ha...i love it..

Hmmm....is the band a string quartet or a cover band? LOL

Kidding...make it what you want it...just do not be shocked that many will not comply with true "black tie" or "white tie" requests.

I am personally against black tie required weddings. You will put undue strain on your guests to rent tuxes and buy formal gowns. Put formal or black tie optional, and people will know to dress their best

I'm sure your heart was in the right place and it was meant as a jest, but if I spend hundreds of dollars on attire just for a few hours to realize the wedding was being hosted in someone's backyard for a BBQ, I'm taking my gift back with me and going home.

Black tie optional is not a thing.

I requested cocktail attire at my wedding and thought it turned out extremely nice and classy. I think for your purposes putting formal attire would be better because I would feel bad asking my guests (especially the men) to purchase or rent attire for my wedding. It would probably mean less gifts for you as well since they are having to spend money to come to your wedding.

Sorry, you're right. Black tie optional IS a thing, but it's confusing and pointless.

"Black Tie Optional (or Black Tie Invited) allows hosts to suggest that men wear tuxedos but not to insist on it. This code is often employed in the context of large gatherings of civic or business groups, such as a dinner sponsored by a chamber of commerce.

The reality, though, is that this dress code is basically the formal equivalent of “business casual”: an attempt to please everyone that ultimately benefits no-one.

Consequently, these hesitant hosts deprive men of the reassurance and clarity they seek from a precise dress code, forcing them instead to partake in a no-win guessing game. If the large majority of men decide to wear dinner jackets then the minority who dress in suits may appear inconsiderate and classless. Conversely, if the majority shows up in suits then the minority will likely feel put out."

Source: http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_BlackTie_Codes.htm

Black tie optional is a thing... I've been to several of those events.

I will say though, no one dressed in black tie at those events. They were dressed nicely, but not in tuxes and gowns.

Nah..I think my guests will be ok. Our guests knows how we are as a couple. I have the elements in place outside of a 5 course meal. We have a 4 course tableside wine and dinner service in Newport Beach. I guess it's all different for everyone. With the two of us, if we get invited to a black tie event, we prepare for months and can't wait to get decked out. Thanks grumbledore.

I'm sure all of you follow all other wedding etiquette exactly, as well? Especially since most of the "rules" were created years ago and so much has changed since then. If I followed the elements of black tie listed and just hoped my guests would understand, no one would have a clue- believe me. I had a reception card insert that said black tie in the lower corner. When it comes down to it- do what you want! If you want a formal event, please do what will make you happy and not what etiquette dictates. People are going to talk, be mad, be happy, etc. regardless of what you decide to do so you should at least make yourself happy after spending so much time and money.

It's fine to request black tie if you're having a black tie event. Black tie optional is just a cop out. Make the invitations formal and leave it at that.

I am getting married at a swanky boutique hotel in DC on a saturday night. It is a formal affair. We put "black tie invited" on the invitation which is just fancy for "black tie optional." I have had a few people ask about attire but otherwise people are smart enough to know whats going on based on the time and location.

Hi Amy - I invited you to connect..have some questions for you. I wish it was the pelican..I would have to wait and save another year for a wedding such as yours.

Betty's advice is SO wrong. My god.

Anyway, I think you can request it based on your event style but do you really want to require people to spend money renting a tux if they don't own one? Or a long gown if they don't have one? I wouldn't want to put my guests in that position which is why I would never state black tie personally. Just send fancy invitations and people should know to dress formally which for most people is a suit / tie and cocktail dress.

Deja Vu! Are we doing this again? Haven't you ladies chewed at my throat enough with this topic, poor Elizabeth, you don't know what you started. Apparently the words "black tie" bring out the "professors and etiquette specialists" in our brides. Pretty soon you'll have links to websites, quotes and rants about how you need to have ABC in order for it to be a black tie event. Whatever you do... do Not ask if it's ok to wear a black suit rather than a tux to a black tie event! hehe

I think it sounds lovely, but my personal feeloing is that going to a wedding is expensive enough without requiring a dress code which many people have never encountered before.

Cocktail apparel should suffice, along with word of mouth. If I got the invite and my choices were to decline or to spend hundreds of dollars on a tux and a gown, I'd probably decline.