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Savvy October 2022

Is this appropriate or too much?

Lana, on September 15, 2020 at 3:42 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 16

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So my mom and I had a moment of butting heads yesterday morning. FH and I want a destination wedding which is themed (civil war, Union blue!!) so I'm saving up for a dress for that but we have discussed having a reception at home for those who can't make it to our destination half. I thought about getting one of those cheaper wedding gowns you see on Hebeos (since people have posted pictures with their reviews and they're pretty nice looking!!) as well. My mom said that's just overkill to wear another dress of any kind unless it's a simple black "funeral dress" or a pantsuit. My FH is talking about wearing a suit (not a tux) and I thought it'd be nice to have something classic for the reception (in champagne) since we don't want to wear our period gear again for it. Is that just way too much overkill? I felt that it'd be OK since they'd see us in our wedding ceremony clothes in pictures only. I don't want to do anything overboard but don't want to wear something plain either.... I'll find pictures of what I'm thinking and post them LOL

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Latest activity by Rachel, on September 16, 2020 at 7:04 PM

Savvy October 2022
Lana · on September 15, 2020 at 3:46 PM
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This would be the reception dress or similar.
I'm having a remake of this one done for the themed destination part
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 15, 2020 at 3:50 PM
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Plenty of people have multiple dresses for multiple wedding celebrations, so i don't see why not
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VIP September 2020
Neeva · on September 15, 2020 at 3:59 PM
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Your wedding, your choice!! It is not over the top to change into another outfit, it's your day!!
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on September 15, 2020 at 6:43 PM
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I don’t think there is anything wrong with multiple dresses. I’ve seen many people do it.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on September 15, 2020 at 7:04 PM
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I don’t think it is an issue whatsoever. Those attending at home are not attending ‘the wedding’ but a belated celebration of it. In any event, as the celebrated couple, you and FH can wear whatever you want. I don’t know why your mum has an issue with it lol.
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Savvy November 2021
Chelsea · on September 15, 2020 at 8:36 PM
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My belief for anything like this is that it's your wedding so it's your choice! Your mom or others can share opinions, but you should make a decision that feels right for you. You want to look back at your wedding day and be glad about the choices you made.
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Super August 2021
Sarah · on September 15, 2020 at 8:37 PM
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Its your wedding so if you want 2 dresses then get 2 dresses if that will make you happy. Its not overkill plenty of women have 2 different dresses, some women even do 3 lol. And I think its awesome the dresses are so completely different I think it would be nice touch to celebrating your wedding.
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on September 15, 2020 at 8:55 PM
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A civil war themed party seems a bit insensitive these days. Regardless, I agree you and your FH should be on the same page attire-wise. It’s either both or neither in the period gear for the second reception. Seems like a good idea to get something a bit more classic for the second reception. What’s the style for the second reception, full meal with another ceremony or more casual celebration?
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Dedicated January 2021
Brittany · on September 15, 2020 at 9:29 PM
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The only reason I can think of to do what your mom says is if she's 100% paying and/or there isn't budget available for both dresses. However, it doesn't sound like this is the case since you mentioned saving up and looking for something cheap for the second dress, so as others have said do what makes you happy
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on September 15, 2020 at 10:26 PM
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I’m doing the absolute most on my day so I say do whatever makes you happy. It’s your day, your rules. If you want to change your dress every hour you can.
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Savvy October 2022
Lana · on September 16, 2020 at 11:36 AM
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Hi Rachel,
The wedding itself is going to be in Gettysburg. We may have a chance at getting married at a local reenactment encampment on the battlefields there so seeing us dressed in period gear isn't out of place (even in town). The only theme is our wedding garments. His portrays a Union General and mine is just a period ball gown. The reception back home would be more "classic". I feel that period gear outside of a historic town/venue like Gettysburg is inappropriate. That's why I am looking at a second, cheaper dress. Sorry, I should've been more detailed about the theme and areas!! The reception back home would be formal. He said he'd wear a suit (no tux) which is fine. I just don't know if it should be a wedding dress or like my mom said--something simple from my closet. She thinks another dress is too over the top even if it's a cheaper one.
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Expert November 2019
Noelle · on September 16, 2020 at 11:40 AM
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Two dresses is not overkill.

I’d avoid Hebeos though...I’ve heard terrible things about their quality and customer service.
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Savvy October 2022
Lana · on September 16, 2020 at 11:43 AM
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Thanks everyone!! Sorry if there was misunderstanding about the civil war part of my post!! FH is a reenactor and usually portrays a Union General at functions. The wedding would be in Gettysburg where it's not uncommon to see people in period clothing. The period dress is NOT going to be worn for the reception back home since I view it as being inappropriate outside of a historical town/venue like Gettysburg, so my apologies if that upset anyone!! The second dress is for the "at home" reception. My mom is NOT paying for anything so I've decided on a second dress if I can afford to do so, otherwise I'll pick something from my closet. Thank you for all the help!!
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Savvy October 2022
Lana · on September 16, 2020 at 11:45 AM
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Yeah I'm kinda scared to do an online thing but places like David's bridal are so expensive!! I've heard rumors that dresses can be rented which I'm going to look into too!!
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Expert November 2019
Noelle · on September 16, 2020 at 12:43 PM
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There are several reputable online sites, such as Azazie (very popular on this board) and Cocomelody...you can find a good deal there and not have to go broke! I know nothing of renting a dress, I would wonder about alterations and whether it would fit right if you rented.
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on September 16, 2020 at 7:04 PM
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Got it. I think if you’re doing a formal reception in terms of service to guests and dress code, then a ball gown works great! Just a note, formal dress code is typically a tux instead of a suit. So you guys can definitely dress it up to the nines! 😁
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Is this appropriate or too much?

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