Is there a protocol for step parents?

My ex husband had divorced parents and same exact situation, he got along better with my MIL's boyfriend then he did with his step mom. His parents with their significant others hadn't been in the same room in 20 years, except for his high school graduation and even there a scene was caused. I was nervous to say the least.

How we did it was his dad and step mom sat in the row behind his mom and her bf. He walked both his step mom and mom to their seats. He just did a dance with his mom (which caused a scene with step mom), but ultimately it's up to what your FH want s

Following. Both of our parents are divorced. But my bio Mom and her husband will not be there because we haven't talked in years. But FH his Dad remarried last year and his Mom was married but her husband passed a year ago and has been seeing someone. FH parents can be in the same room and keep everything civil so hopefully the wedding is the same way!

I was hoping for more advice. I.E. what brides are doing/ what newlyweds did do.

Fh parents are divoeced. Both remarried when he was very young and have been with current spouse for more than 30 years. He was raised by bio dad and step mom. Bio mom and step dad had summers and some holidays. He went 10 years without seeing bio mom but he is still close to them.

He is not doing a mother son dance. His bio dad and step mom will be on one row. Skip one row. Then bio mom and step dad.

We haven't decided gifts. Likely will do something for each set rather than individual.

Honestly, even though this may be wrong. We're treating the sides a little differently. My dad literally has never kept a woman for more that 4-5 years. His current girlfriend and him have been together for about 3. My dad and I have never been super close, he didn't raise me.(And I have my resentmen's against him) But I love him. Now that I'm an adult, when we ARE together, it's usually good, quality time. His girlfriend has never made an attempt to get to know me at all, for the first year hardly spoke to me at all. She's now more comfortable around me and over steps her boundaries with me almost every time I see her. (In my situation exes and SOs get along, so I'm not worried about seating.) He will get a thank you gift, she most likely will not. Other side, FH family both his parents and their SOs will be getting their gifts. We honestly aren't sure how they will get along as his dad and his SO have lived in a different state for the last 9 years. We will sit them behind mom, I don't anticipate drama from them. We shall see..

Ugggh OP your situation sounds just like mine! FH is adamant about not doing anything special for his dad's (recent) wife – who has not treated his dad so well. I felt like we should get her a corsage because we are getting his Mom's husband a boutonniere and he just says his wife doesn't need one, he barely knows her.

I'm trying to avoid any day-of drama and I tried to explain it like maybe it's less about FH's relationship with his dad's wife and more about making his dad feel honored and special, and she is an extension of that. We didn't order her a corsage but I'm thinking it might be a game time decision made by me to just make her one in case. Then at least we can pull a "omg! she didn't get hers? Let me see if the coordinator has it!" move... I just feel like the possible drama is not worth it but ultimately since it's FH's family I'm letting him make the call.

Well, for starters, if they've been divorced for 20 years, they can suck it up and be decent; don't make that your issue.

As for the rest of it, everyone's relationship with their step parents/parents' partners is different. And every parents' relationship with the new partners is different. I've had step parents share the walk down the aisle...I've included stepmoms in the rose ceremony (if it won't make the bio mom nuts). The only way to figure this out is to tell them what you're planning and if there are any hurt feelings skip it.

Regarding gifts? I'd make them 'couple' gifts; a bottle of champagne, framed photos of them at the wedding. I'd probably get them together, apart and give them the gifts NOT on the day.

For the walk? He could walk them both up but that leaves dad walking alone. I'd put all the partners and step parents in the front row; maybe a little far away from each other,lol.

My parents are divorced and have been since I was 8. My FH and I are having them in the wedding by:

My mom and dad are walking me down the aisle (being civil for one night)

My step dad is walking my moms mom down the aisle.

My brother in law is walking my step mom down the aisle.

I am not giving them assign seats so they will just sit where they want.