Is our Kids Compromise Appropriate?

I am not a believer that if you invite one, you must invite all childre. Nor do I think parents should be allowed to use, "well you invited Elizabeth's daughter and so you have to invite mine" to bully you into doing what you want. Just stick to your usual reasons for inviting any guest, not arbitrary ones, and you should be fine. For all guests, you invite those with whom you have the strongest or closest relationship, first. And then go outward in circles. Invite those in the family, and not those not related? Your wedding, you are inviting those closest before those you do not know. . Do not tell people, we are not inviting children.
Tell them, we are inviting the children we have the closest relationship with, and not others, just as we invite the adults we have the closest relationship with, not others. These are the children you have known since birth, seen on holidays and special occasions, whatever. It is not for anyone else to challenge that. You are the hosts, and issue all invitations by that same rule.

Having only family kids is totally fine.

Is it acceptable? Yes, I've definitely seen wording examples online for only inviting kids within the family. But you may get some push back as there will always be some guests who think they should be able to bring their kids anywhere. Some may also not like the fact that you're inviting some kids but not others. But it's your wedding and you just have to put your foot down for what you want. I'd also make sure people are aware through word of mouth. Some people may not look at the envelope to see who it's addressed to or assume that if they're invited, their kids are too.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your input! This was my thought exactly. We are closer to the kids in the family, and I think it is reasonable to leave the choice up to their parents.

View Quoted Comment I’m considering making the response card wording something to the effect of “ We have reserved 2 seats in your honor... etc”

Having just family kids is completely fine! This is what we're doing too, and we won't have any of the children involved IN the wedding!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing your plans too! I didn’t think it was rude to do so, but had several people try to prepare me for the backlash I would receive. Lol

This is totally fine and normal, called inviting in circles. We also invited the children of family but not friends and we had no kids in the wedding party. You are totally fine etiquette-wise to do it this way!

This is what we were planning to do until we decided to do no kids (but the kids that would've come to ours are all going to be 2, so no thanks lol). There's nothing wrong with that, especially because family will have a harder time finding someone to watch their kids if they aren't invited because they'll all be at your wedding. All of our friends with kids totally understood and were actually excited to have a "night off."

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You might get some backlash, but that really depends on your crowd! I'm sure they'll be happy to have a night off to relax and have fun!