Is ot okay to feel this way???

Never feel like your feelings aren't justified! I'm sorry you're feeling down about this. It would make me sad if my mom went all out for a cousin but not for me, her own daughter

I'm generally against a bride asking others about hosting a party for her, but I kind of think asking a mom about it is the one exception to that (based on my relationships with both my own mom and with my daughter). If I were you, I'd talk with your mom about it to see what her thought process was. With the wedding in 5-days, it's too late now, but at least you'll understand where she was coming from. One thing that could possibly have been a factor is that it used to be HIGHLY inappropriate for the bride's mom to host a shower for her own daughter. It was seen as pretty much the same etiquette breach as a bride hosting her own (i.e., very "gift grabby"). I got married more than 30 years ago, but my own mom would never have been the person to host my shower; one of my aunts hosted it. Is it possible that your mom has been working under an expectation like that?

When daughter got engaged, I quickly realized that because her BMs were spread all over the country it was highly unlikely that they'd host a shower for her. My closest sister, daughter's aunt, would normally have been the first to offer, but she was preparing to move cross country and was living more than 90 minutes away from us at the time, so if she'd offered to host a shower it would have been super inconvenient to 95% of the guests who are local to us/bride. I knew it was only going to happen if I hosted, but I did some research to see if it would be still be considered rude to do so. Obviously, that's something that the etiquette has shifted on, but I didn't know until I looked into it. I hope you have an awesome wedding!