Is Love Really Blind?

I agree to a degree. However, love isn't completely blind, otherwise there wouldn't be such a thing as breakups.

I think during the honeymoon phase yes. When you're first in love you're pretty blinded and full of bliss. And that feeling is amazing. But over time you move to the next stage and you start noticing your partner is human and has flaws.

View Quoted Comment I think love is definitely a little blind in the beginning but that newness wears off and reality sets in.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with you.

View Quoted Comment Yes it is why you need to take your time. Love should not be blind. At times when someone is being abused or neglected you need to know that.

I believe that you may overlook or not stress over certain things your partner does because your love for them is greater than certain faults.
I feel that when you love someone you love them for all of them, good and the "bad".

This is more of a general/broad statement for personality, or their habits (maybe chewing loudly).

I guess it depends more on what the 'fault' is that is being brought up, and the individual person and their background.

View Quoted Comment Definitely, yes. Before I met my husband, my long term relationships lasted only about six months. Those two guys broke up with me because of my flaws due to my intellectual disabilities. My relationships before that were with guys who each had their own sets of problems. Those were on-and-off, unsuccessfull, two year dead-end relationships each. I was definitely blinded by love back then and was therefore easily taken advantage of.

After the second six month relationship ended, I met my husband. The difference between the last two and dating my husband was that I was making a conscious, therapeutic effort to change my social behavior (my flaws). Including him so that he was able to witness my progress kept him around. It worked. We were married four years later!

At first, yes, but love that lasts is honest and sometimes painfully so.

Love that lasts recognizes the faults and supports the person in them. This is why couples therapy is so great. It allows you both to recognize your faults, support each other as you work to improve as a person, but also helps you understand and accept the natural failings of each other as humans.

FH and I are both aware of each other's faults. Some we accept and move on, because now is not the time or space to work on them. Others we talk about and try to get better and support each other in that effort. It's not easy, but that's the work part of a relationship. And it's worth it, because when you know someone has your back, you can mess up and try again, and that's ok.

I'm a fan of the Sternberg Triangular theory of love. Some of the 'love types' would describe types of love that would be blind. Others, less so.

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I agree that when you truly love someone you love them for their good and bad.

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I think it's important for people to be authentically themselves so their partner can truly determine if they can accept their flaws.

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Your response has me thinking that perhaps it's not love that's blind, its infatuation. Because true love is accepting.

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Please elaborate.

Sternberg's Triangular theory of love essentially states that there are 3 main components of love:

Passion is the strong physical and emotional reactions.

Intimacy is the attachment and feeling of closeness.

Commitment is the conscious decision to stick together.

Any relationship can have parts or all of the building blocks:

Sternberg's Theory

I would think that different types of love (i.e. infatuation) are very much likely to fall into 'love is blind.' However, something like companionate (intimacy + commitment) and consummate love (all three) are less likely to.

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Thank you for sharing this.

I previously mentioned that perhaps it's not love that's blind, its infatuation. Because true love is accepting.

View Quoted Comment Yup. In this theory they just also consider infatuation as a type of love. Which I like since it goes into the idea that love doesn't just look like one thing.

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I don't agree that infatuation is a type of love.

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This would be an 'agree to disagree.' According to the merriam-webster dictionary, it would still count as love. Just a foolish one:

Definition of infatuation

1: a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something : strong and unreasoning attachment

2: the object of an unreasoning or foolish attachment

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Yes, let's agree to disagree.

You inspired me to create a new discussion post about love vs infatuation.

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Yup. I noticed. Figured I wouldn't comment on that one since I clarified my perspective over here already.