Is it wrong to not put my sister in my wedding?

It sounds like she’s proving exactly why she isn’t in your bridal party 🙄 Sisters... I had asked mine despite her being *her*, and she had a meltdown since she doesn’t like my SO. The problem with the SO being that they came between her and I. So when offered the chance to do this with me, she didn’t see it as an opportunity.
I think you could either give her some other role (reading?) or just leave her simply as a guest if you think there’s a chance of her using any spotlight to do something uncalled for.
Your party is for those you are closest to. It doesn’t have to be family.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! She’s the least responsible child and will do any and everything on her own time. My bridesmaids all feel like she won’t hold her weight. My mother is also upset because one of my bridesmaids is my sister’s friend but we are extremely close. She just kept calling me petty for not putting her in the bridal party.

View Quoted Comment Petty would be sending her a mirror and telling her to take a look at her own behavior lol
I think that a very clear sit down conversation should probably be had- because this way you can say ‘we talked about this last month and I’m not addressing it again’, and you can move along with your planning.

View Quoted Comment Lol she would still act the same way! I validated her feelings and told her that I know she wouldn’t pick me and I’m okay with that.

Just because she's family doesn't mean she needs to be a bridesmaid, sounds like everything has to be about her and your mother is validating her feelings by taking her side instead of respecting your wishes.

If she wants to be like that let her, but don't let it bother you. You can have who you want stand up with you.

View Quoted Comment That sounds like a great response! You’re doing a great job handling this

There’s nothing wrong with just being a guest. Not everyone wants the responsibility involved in being a bridesmaid.


For the bridesmaids, you should only pick those closest to you. The idea of doing things out of obligation because others tell you to is what creates rifts and drama and needs to not be a thing. There are many posts on the forum describing brides who want to cut ties with bridesmaids because they are family and other people who they have been bullied and pressured to include.

If I though my sister was immature and irresponsible there is no way I would ask her to be my bridesmaid! Good for you on deciding to only include those who you can trust to be there and be supportive.

View Quoted Comment Even my brother sadly 🤦🏾‍♀️. I’m already frustrated with things that’s going on in our everyday lives but now I’m just thinking about just eloping this year at a nice park with everyone.

View Quoted Comment I did just that, picked who I was closest to. Everyone seems to have a problem that I did that and when I explained to my brother that I didn’t even propose to my bridesmaids yet and that I may only have 2 if my fiancé has 2 then he understood a little more. I’m thinking about just eloping, my fiancé is okay with whatever I decide.

No, it’s not wrong. I was not in my brother’s wedding (because of his wife- long story), and because I wasn’t, his wife wouldn’t allow him to be in mine when my husband asked him to be. Talk about petty. You have who you want standing by your side, and if that’s not family, that’s fine!

View Quoted Comment See, now that’s petty! I’m putting her in our pictures and in a similar color to my bridesmaids but my family made it worse for her so now she isn’t a bridesmaid at all. I’m completely fine with not being in hers if she was to get married. She told me she was going to get married at the court house and I was going to be there; not I’m standing next to her. But no one seems to care about that response.