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Just Said Yes May 2021

Is it too late to ask your girls to be your bridesmaids?

Patricia, on November 2, 2020 at 10:35 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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My fiancé and I have been engaged since June, but planning had been all over the place because of covid. We didn’t really know if we could all gather again or not. Long story short, we decided to do a small destination wedding in Jamaica, inviting close friends and family (well aware that everyone won’t be able to make it). We just sent save the dates (5.5 months prior) and I want to ask my girls to be my bridesmaids.
However, i haven’t gotten much of a response from anyone since I’ve sent the save the dates (electronically). I honestly thought people would be super excited and asking questions.

Ideally I would have gotten some “oh yeah! I’ll be there for sure” then I would have asked them to be my bridesmaids. I only want 4 and could think of 6 that I can ask. How should I navigate doing this if one of my top 4 say no?Is it too late for me to even ask? I get that it’s already asking a lot for them to travel

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Meghan, on November 3, 2020 at 9:29 AM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on November 2, 2020 at 10:43 AM
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I don't think it's too late to ask! The only thing I would be aware of is ordering bridesmaids dresses - those can sometimes take a few months to come in (unless you purchase from Amazon or Lulu's or other similar site), so I wouldn't wait too much longer to ask. Maybe the next time you talk with them, you can ask if they received the Save The Date for your wedding, and hopefully can tell by their response on whether they plan to attend or not. If so, you could ask them to be bridesmaids at that time! If any of them decline the invite, I wouldn't try to replace them with someone else. I recommend asking only the people you want by your side. If the sides end up being uneven, it's OK - you can always have wedding party either walk down the aisle alone, or in groups of three, or some combination.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on November 2, 2020 at 10:56 AM
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It's definitely not too late to ask, however I would first see which ones will actually come to your wedding since it is a destination wedding.
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Just Said Yes May 2021
Patricia · on November 2, 2020 at 11:02 AM
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That’s what I was thinking too, but it’ll be about a month until I know for sure who’ll be coming. So I should just wait until then?
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on November 2, 2020 at 11:13 AM
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I don’t think it’s too late at all! Maybe call or meet with the girls individually and just ask them if they plan to attend. If they say yes, you can just do the “well in that case...” thing.
I did the same thing. We are having a destination wedding, but I didn’t want to ask my bridal party until after I knew for sure they wanted to and planned on coming to the wedding. I was afraid if I asked them to be in my wedding party first, they would feel obligated to make the trip, and I didn’t want anybody putting themselves out financially because they felt guilty.
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Super October 2022
Michele · on November 2, 2020 at 11:46 AM
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It's generally better to ask them closer to the wedding day than as soon as you get engaged. Ask them right away because you need to know if they can attend or not.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 2, 2020 at 12:09 PM
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I don't think its too late to ask. Go for it!
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on November 2, 2020 at 12:33 PM
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I would wait until I have confirmation on which ones are attending
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on November 3, 2020 at 9:29 AM
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Not to late at all. Most people don't respond to save the dates, so I don't think that is out of the ordinary. I would go ahead and ask them though so they can plan their travel and buy their dresses.
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