Is It Too Late For Us To Back Out?

Definitely do a cost benefit analysis. How much would you lose? Have people OOT guests booked flights? Have you sent STDs? If your risks outweigh your benefits, have the wedding but cut the list & invite those you are close to.

You can do whatever you want. Estimate the costs of any image wedding versus what you'll lose to change your plans and then decide if it's worth it.

If oot guests have booked that would also impact my decision

My FH and I did this. We thankfully didn't have too much invested yet. (The venue and photographer) so we didn't lose out on a ton of money. . It was hard at first, but I'm so glad we did it! Now we are going to have a small beautiful ceremony with only the people we truly want there.

I don't think it is wise to lose that much money. It might have been the wrong decision to have a big wedding, but it's the decision you made so I think you should stick it out. You don't have to be phony with your guests, just be polite. It's one day, you'll survive and then you'll have a lifetime of happiness with your Husband.

Why don't you just have a small wedding

Keep in mind that in the future you may grow closer to some of those friends/relatives who may or may not be invited. Some of them will pass away. When I look at our photo album, I'm happy we shared our day with those people who have passed on.

Absolutely do what you 2 want. Do not do anything out of obligation. If you want small-have small. But cancel now.

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback! We sent out SOME STD's, mostly to our friends and OOT guests. I don't see our friends being mad if we changed plans (especially since they'll still be invited), but certain family members may feel a certain way.

We haven't made a definite decision yet, but we are now in the process of doing a cost-benefit analysis to see how much money we will lose if we opt out of the big wedding to a smaller, intimate ceremony. We're in DC so there is a certain company that does pretty cool "pop-up" weddings for a small amount and we're considering doing that and then taking a 10-14 day honeymoon to more than one place. Another option is changing our date and keeping the venue, but the venue charges $2k for date changes, but it might be worth it in the end for our happiness! Thanks again!!

Since you haven't sent invitations, I think it makes since to make it a more intimate event that you want. What did your mother and grandmother pay for? Are you not able to use that money at all? It seems like you could still use everything you have - same venue, caterer, all that, just downsize. What would actually be wasted? Maybe you could just pay your mother and grandmother back?

If you send out invitations you can't back out. I think it'll all go well, it's your wedding day after all

Don't do it if your hearts aren't in it!! If you've already sent save the dates or invites out to guests you'd rather not be there, you should cancel and not get married that day....

Maybe some of your deposits can be "redirected" in order to save your October date if you haven't sent out invites yet?? Could you ask the caterer to prepare for 40 instead of 100? Dj and photographer prices shouldn't change. Are there minimums for your venue? I'd hate for you to lose money if you don't have to!

Hey wedding twin...like some of the other pps said, go with your heart...do what you both think will feel right...

Whatever you decide, keep mom and grandma in the loop. Just be super open with them. Ask if they will help you scale it back. If they balk and refuse, you're gonna need to pay them back and just do what you want. I hope they don't do that, though.