Brittney
Just Said Yes September 2021

Is it tacky?

Brittney, on January 3, 2020 at 12:27 AM Posted in Planning 0 15
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So... my FH and I have been together for almost 12 years and we have decided to finally get married. It was more of a discussion than a real proposal, but he is buying a ring and will propose some time in the (hopefully near) future. The thing is, we are already planning our wedding. I already bought my dress, we are speaking with a venue this weekend, and we going to start booking other vendors once the venue and date are secured. My question is... is it tacky to announce the wedding before he officially proposes, or should I wait? The only people that know now are immediate family and our bridal party. I was just kind of sad that I didn’t get to post that I said “yes to the dress” and that I won tickets to our local bridal show. So I feel like I’m
Kind of missing out on some fun parts of the engagement.

15 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on January 3, 2020 at 10:50 AM
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    An engagement doesn't require a big proposal like social media/media in general makes us believe it does; it just requires two people who agree to a marriage. So, congratulations! You're engaged! I would totally enjoy posting about the things you're wanting to post about. When the ring comes in, you'll be able to post about that too!

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  • Martina
    Savvy May 2020
    Martina ·
    • Flag
    I think even without a ring, if you're this far into planning the wedding then you're engaged. I would announce it even without a ring! So what if you don't have a ring to show for it, you're planning on marring the love of your life! That deserves to be shared!
    • Reply
  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    This happened to me. We had a discussion and started planning. He felt the need to officially propose before I went wedding dress shopping just cause he wanted me to have a ring while I tried on dresses. But, honestly if it doesn’t bother your FH you should announce your wedding to everyone! I did!
    • Reply
  • Angelica
    Savvy August 2020
    Angelica ·
    • Flag
    I’ve been with my FH for 6 years now and our story is very similar to yours. He proposed to me last Christmas without a ring- I was going through some pretty bad health issues and he wanted me to know that he would be by my side no matter what. I told some close friends and family and even picked a couple of bridesmaids. When I bought my dress I posted it on social media. This Thanksgiving (11 months later) he proposed to me on top of a mountain and I posted that on social media as well. Some people might think it’s backwards but that’s the way these events unfolded and I wouldn’t change it for the world



    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    It's not tacky, but everyone will ask to see your ring. Very few will even make comments about how you're not really engaged without a ring. We went to wedding expos, talked to vendors, and secured our venue before the ring, and FH subsequently did an "official" proposal. A proposal is just a formality. The best way to initiate a marriage is the way you did-- through a grown up discussion as a team!


    Don't announce the wedding (date) to anyone you don't intend to invite, haha. You WILL get people thinking they're entitled to come. Rather, I'd announce that you're engaged.
    Congrats!
    • Reply
  • Dierdra
    Super August 2021
    Dierdra ·
    • Flag

    You two are engaged lol if you are planning and booking! make a post! Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    You’re two consenting adults who decided to get married and have started planning a wedding. You’re engaged. No ring or grand proposal necessary.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I personally wouldn't announce anything until you have everything set in planned. Do you have a date? Do you have a venue? I say this because after having the discussion with my fiance just like you we told a few close people and now we have a plan of what we want to do but we don't have a set date or anything so I feel odd announcing something without an exact plan to invite people to. You don't need to have the proposal like others said unless that is something that you want but there is nothing wrong with planning and having a game plan. As soon as we officially decided we were getting married I started planning like crazy hahaha. That's just my two cents and good luck and congratulations.
    • Reply
  • Cristina
    Dedicated December 2021
    Cristina ·
    • Flag
    The ring is just the symbol of the engagement it doesn’t make the engagement. I am engaged with no ring yet and we have also done a lot of planning. We are buying our first home together so FH couldn’t really spend on a ring yet bur didn’t want to wait on planning for the wedding. He plans on getting a ring and proposing before the wedding but we are still announcing our engagement. If anyone asks to see the ring just say “it’s coming, stay tuned”.
    • Reply
  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
    • Flag
    You’re not alone, I know what you mean lol!! We started venue shopping 6 months before proposal (I knew the ring was coming but wasn’t sure when) bc the wedding market is so dang competitive in our city. There were times I wanted to talk about everything publicly bc I was soo excited but I “mostly” waited til I got the ring. Hang in there!!
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    As a bystander I would think it’s weird tbh, and maybe even a little tacky (or desperate) to start planning a wedding without being, as you call it , officially engaged. HOWEVER, it sounds like you guys are engaged and just don’t have a ring yet! Which isn’t the same at all. I think it can be as simple as picking out a ring and wearing it. And ultimately, at the end of the day, does it matter what a bunch of people think? It’s your wedding, done in your own way and in the way that makes sense for your relationship. Congratulations Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think you need a Pinterest proposal or expensive ring but I think you do need something. I think a fake ring from the mall would be fine. I do think it makes a big difference when you have that physical symbol.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like you are engaged just without a ring and that’s ok. If you are planning a wedding then you can announce it. I would just be prepared for the “OMG let me see your ring” comment. That’s likely the only reason I personally would wait a bit longer but there’s nothing wrong with announcing now as long as you both agree
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Super January 2020
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    You're planning a wedding, so I think it's safe to say (and announce) that you're engaged!! I don't think it's tacky...Social media has everyone so caught up in thinking there needs to be an extravagant proposal and there's pictures and videos of it happening. Not hating on that type of proposal, but just trying to say it can be as simple as having a discussion about it then buying a ring later Smiley smile however, if you want to have that ring picture, then you could just wait until you get the ring Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't announce until you two decide you are officially engaged. It doesn't need to be a big public proposal, but it seems odd to plan a wedding without a ring & official engagement.

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