Is it rude to NOT let someone throw you a shower?

I told my bridesmaids I didn't want a bachelorette party. I still have not heard the end of it. I probably won't until after the wedding. Oh well they'll get over it.

I told my bridesmaids I don't want a shower. I don't think it's rude -- it's saving them a ton of work and money.

That sounds like a ton of bridal showers haha!

So my SO and I have lived together for almost 2 years now and we are decently stocked. My FMIL actually asked my mom if she was going to throw me a bridal shower. My mom started talking to me about it and I told her to not throw me one. So yeah, I've already told someone not to throw me a shower. I think it's fine to decline, but it is a bit different if you're dealing with your FMIL.

I don't think it's rude at all! I think it would be rude if it was the opposite: demanding multiple showers haha

@AuguestBride, OMG, it's really difficult because even though she is invited to all of the other showers (so are the rest of her friends), they still want to throw me a third shower. Blah, some of the same women even threw us our engagement party/pig pickin' back in November of last year.

I just want the WEDDING to be here I guess... the rest of the stuff is just like "filler." HAHA.

Date twin! I'm with you....can May 17th get here already?! Would the guest lists overlap a lot? If so, then you could just explain that your friends/family are all already attending a shower and you don't want to overdo it, but you appreciate her offer.

It's not rude at all especially in your case when the number becomes excessive. I would absolutely decline that shower. People are going to have major wedding fatigue around your wedding. There is nothing wrong with politely declining the offer.

@Rach, my FMIL claims it's because my sister/Mom chose Easter Weekend to do my bridal shower in my hometown. I'm in the Bible belt here so apparently these women have family who come and stay with them that entire weekend, so they can't travel that weekend to my hometown (2 hours away) for the shower.

I just have a lot going on next month (as you probably know b/c you'll be in the same boat), and a third one is just not needed, but I just didn't think I had a choice really. I thought it'd be rude if I say "no, I'm declining their offer."

Not rude at all. I think you can say no to #3 and not hurt anyone's feelings. It's nice that they want to do it but I think if you told them you think it's excessive, they would totally understand.

Yeah my weekends are packed too. Between fittings, showers, bach party, a 5K run, etc. my weekends are pretty much spoken for. If you REALLY don't want it, just try to talk to her and express your "appreciation" for trying, but you just don't have it in your schedule. Good luck!

Not rude, as long as its not the same people invited to all 3 they may think you're greedy for gifts lol but not not rude, very nice of the church to come together and give you something.

I told my FMIL no. I don't even want the one my mom is throwing. I have never been a fan of showers and i usually don't attend them.

HAHAHA! At my sister's second wedding, she had already experienced 7 showers between her first wedding and her baby showers for the two kids. She got wind I was throwing her a party and told me "DO NOT throw me a shower, and if you feel you have to, please give all the gifts to red cross". So...I threw her a bachelorette, she was totally surprised, and we raised over $400 for the red cross. We also had a total blast and she was really a happy.

Are you inviting all those people from the church to the wedding? I know sometimes co-workers throw office showers, but I would feel really awkward about getting gifts from people that I wasn't inviting to the wedding. If not, easy way to bow out and say you wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I told my FMIL I did not want a shower (this would be my 3rd shower also) from *her* coworkers and she told my FH that it was rude to decline a shower. I think its weiiirrd when I don't know these people..

I think it's flattering.

I think if you already accepted the offer, then I don't think it's right to say no now. they may already be planning and excited about it.

if you didn't say yes, then I think you should be able to say that you aren't up to it.

I too am worried about the shower situation. I do not want one, period. I am a vintage dealer - I have more junk than I could ever use already. However, my mother has already mentioned a luncheon and FMIL mentioned a shower as well. Then there is my best friend and my MoH who want to do their own things for some reason...I told them all I do not need anything but they seem to want to do something anyway *sigh*.

I don't think it is rude at all. If you don't want a shower that is your choice.

Since you are having three showers I wouldn't invite anyone that won't be invited to the wedding.

Aw... I think its so sweet that they all want to throw you a shower. I dont think its rude to say no thanks. 3 is a lot. Is there any way they can collaborate and work together to throw 1 big one? Maybe there is something else you need help with that someone would like to do if they really just want to do something for you.

I would just worry that it is already planned. If they already planned i think you are stuck.