Is it rude to not invite sister's significant other?

They have two kids but you've only met him once? Obviously hard to weigh in without prying into personal details on why you don't think it's right, but if truly everyone elses partners are invited, lil sis may feel singled out if hers isn't included. Unless you are confirmed that literally everyone else will attend and this one added guest is the difference between no event fee and thousands of dollars, your sister will most likely be able to guess why her partner wasn't invited. That's a rough situation to be in, and I feel for you!

It may really upset your sister to see others SO there when hers wasn’t. Especially since they have kids together. I could really see this causing flight/ resentment. As long as this boyfriend isn’t abusive etc even if you don’t feel like they are right for each other you should treat their relationship the same as the other SO invited. If it’s a numbers thing I would cut a child before an adult. The children probably won’t remember they weren’t invited, unlike your sister who may never forget.

I really think he should be invited based on what’s in your post, if there’s not anything else going on

Even though you may not have met him many times, he should be invited. Etiquette says that anyone in the bridal party should get a plus one. My little sister has no significant other but she is getting plus one.

Yes, you need to invite him. If they have kids together, and they're together, he should be there.

I think significant others should always be invited, ESPECIALLY of the bridal party. I'm sure your sister would be hurt if he wasn't? And who would watch her kids while she was busy with bridal party things?

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We live on opposite coasts and it's hard for both of us to travel so that's the one reason I've only met him once. The other is they weren't together for about a year and a half before they decided to give it another try. They've been on again/off again a lot.

We're renting the villa from Sun-Tue so we're not sure yet which spouses will be able to come because of work/travel/etc. Secretly wishing that a few can't come so it's not an issue.

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Fingers crossed for you that it works out. And who knows, even if you do invite him, maybe the cross-coast travel is too much and he will decline on his own.

View Quoted Comment Both my sisters and FH sisters have kids too and they're all traveling out of state to be with us. So I feel like we can't make it an adults only wedding just for that reason. I've been stressing out over this for days

So does your venue have a max capacity?
You cut the list down to 19. But what is this event fee cutoff?
Because you said you keep asking the coordinator for extra. But one more guest, who is the MOHs significant other and father of her child should be included in the invites.

Do you think she would come without him? Do you think she and/or he would be upset or offended that he wasn't invited? Could it possibly cause a strain on your relationship with your sister if he wasn't invited? Hopefully you have thought about all of that. I personally didn't even second guess whether or not any of my guests spouse' were invited or not. If they are with someone, they automatically got a plus 1. I feel you on the wanting to keep your venue. We had to cut our guest list by hundreds so that I could have my quaint, intimate venue. But I would never risk the relationship with my sister in the process. I hope it all works out for you!

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He gave us a max of 16 with no event fee, 40 with the event fee, and we're at 19 right now. Hoping because a couple of the kids are on the younger side he'll work with us on the three extra.

He should be invited. If not, I would expect your sister to decline.

If they are together and the kids are coming then yes he needs an invite. Are you absolutely sure this is the venue for you?

View Quoted Comment She definitely won't not come without him.

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That's the thing, there's no bridal things at all. We're not doing anything formal and the only reason we're hiring a photographer is to capture candid moments and a few of FH and I.

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I'd still invite her SO.

View Quoted Comment What happened to 17-39? Is there another type of fee if your over 16 but under 40?
Either way all SO’s should definitely be invited, especially since you are expecting people to stay multiple days. If you can’t fit the budget/capacity then it’s not actually the perfect venue.

I feel like he should be invited. If you decide not to invite him, don’t take it personally if the sister declines to be there.

I know it's not what you want to hear but, the right thing to do is to invite him. You can always hope she decides not to bring him, but honestly, it sounds pretty harsh to exclude your sister's significant other from a family event just because you don't want to pay an event fee. How much extra is this fee, anyway?