Is it rude to not invite my fiance's brother's girlfriends to our wedding?

Yep. If your FH's brothers are invited, then their girlfriends must be invited too. They are social units. You can't separate them.

I don't understand why you guys have to pay for them anyhow. Are they adults? Do they have jobs? You are not responsible for other people, wedding aside. Now, I do think you should invite them but if they have to travel or have any expenses outside of the wedding that is not on you. You are to pay for their food and drinks at your wedding and that's it.

I'd invite them, but let them find their own way there if need be. You have a wedding to pay for. I'd also talk to your FH about cutting them off at some point. Assuming you're all adults. That's totally ridiculous that you should be responsible for them. I would not want to start married life like that.

Yes, I think you do have to invite them.

If the brothers are invited, so are the girlfriends. Anyone in a relationship is a social unit and it's rude to split social units.

Yes, you need to invite them. They are the gfs of your FBILs and couples are always considered a social unit. What you don't have to do: pay for any of their expenses (other than those to host them properly at the reception). Honestly, your FH needs to set some boundaries now, and you need to communicate to him, clearly and without emotion, how uncomfortable you feel financing his family, because from your post it sounds like this has been festering for a long time. I'd say you should check out couples couseling to help you guys talk about this and maybe individual counselling for him to help him figure out how to set healthy boundaries.

How old are your FHs brothers? If they are adults then yes, you have to invite their girlfriends. If no, then they don't have to be invited but it would be the nice thing to do. Putting that aside for a minute, you guys need to set boundaries with his family ASAP.

I would invite them but tell them immediately they have to pay their own way. There’s no reason you and FH should be paying for them. You need to talk to FH about this and have him stop all together.

Yeah unfortunately it would be very rude to not invite his significant other regardless of the backstory. Just have them pay for themselves.

Unfortunately... it would be rude not to. But that’s a shitey situation. Maybe your first big decision as a married couple can be to cut off the vagabonds your FH is bankrolling!

You have to invite them, but you don’t have to pay for their stuff

Agree with other PP's about the fact that they are a social unit and should be invited together.

What I'd like to hear more about, is why your FS is financially supporting his parents, brothers, and their spouses? Definitely need to set some MAJOR boundaries there.

Thanks for all the great comments and advice. My FH definitely enables his brothers (one is 29 the other is 26- both have jobs). I see where he's coming from though. His parents aren't the most financially savvy so he feels like he needs to overcompensate for their short comings. We've had multiple conversations over the past 6 years we've been together. The middle brother is finally getting his own cellphone plan, car insurance, and pay for his own toll tag. When i mean my FHIL's girlfriends expenses I mean hotel and airfare as it's a destination wedding. I think it's fair to just tell everyone to pay their own way. If they can make it great, if not then I'm not going to sweat about it. Who knew weddings were this complicated. Should have just went to court lol.

FH definitely needs to cut the cord with this siblings. His brothers are grown men and need to be bale to support themselves. You guys need to have a serious conversation with hem that you aren't able to continue to pay for everyone at dinners and other expenses. If they cant afford to get to your wedding, then they don't go.

You definitely don't have to pay for them to attend a destination wedding. You provide food and drink, they pay for everything else. At 26 and 29, the brothers are way too old to be supported by your FH. Time for a huge talk with them and a deadline for when the support will end. The sooner the better, especially if the two of you are planning on a family. Kids are expensive!

I think they should be invited, but you and FH/DH need to agree on what to PAY for. Most people would not pay.

I'm definitely going to share these comments with the FH. Sometimes i feel like I'm just not understanding enough, so this does help me in knowing I'm not the only one that what he's been doing is crazy. Having complete strangers telling you the honest truth is super helpful.

What do you guys think about having the FHIL's girlfriends in photos? I do not want to look back at photos and see them there. I feel like an awful person for feeling that way.

Invite them, but they pay for their own airefare and hotel. It's ridiculous to expect you to pay for that. My FH also assists his parents financially and pays for stuff all the time, but he doesn't pay for his adult sister or her fiance to go on big trips!

Photos: I'd take one with and one without (ie family by blood only and one with the couples). They may end up being your future sisters in law.

You are not obligated to pay for their hotel and such. If they asked for it, then simply tell them you don't have the budget and they can't force you to pay for it as long as you and your FH stand still.

Yes you have to invite them. Tell your FH that he needs to set boundaries because his family can pay for their own stuff

You might want to straighten out the financial arrangements before marrying someone who seems to be supporting a large number of people.