Is it rude to invite some relatives and not others?

I don’t think it’s rude at all. This pandemic is no joke & I’m sure they’d understand. Maybe you could send out a cute card & announce your marriage to the relatives you’re not close with. Best wishes to you! ❤️

I agree, it seems like most people are very understanding of plans changing due to COVID. If you've already sent Save The Dates or invitations to the family members you no longer plan to invite, maybe send them each a letter to explain that COVID is forcing you to reduce your guest list, and you unfortunately are no longer able to invite them. Otherwise, I like Niki's idea of sending a marriage announcement to them afterwards.

I don’t think it’s rude either if you have to shorten your list

Definitely not rude. You have to do what you have to do to make it work. If you've already sent out save the dates to them, I'd send them something in regards to you having to shorten your list due to restrictions but if you haven't sent out anything to them, you can always make some kind of announcement about it later on.

While this personally wouldn't work in my family, everybody's extended family has a different dynamic and you know them best. I think due to Covid people will be extra understanding if this is what you have to do. I would suggest reaching out to them and explaining the situation and I'm sure they'll understand

I don’t think it’s rude. It’s your wedding, you can invite who you want but especially with covid I think it’s even more understandable why you want to keep the guest list short

I totally get that. I had to keep my family to just first branch or we’d have had a huge wedding.
It also helps that we live in a different state than most of our guests so we were able to whittle that list down versus if we had gotten married where we grew up. My FH only invited his immediate family. Not even his grandma. He isn’t close with his extended family which makes me sad but every family is different.
I would say invite those closest to you and offer to have the others attend the ceremony virtually.

Everyone's family dynamics are different. In some families, you would be blacklisted if you did that and others wouldn't care. Invite those you're closest to. Send announcements to everyone else.

Thanks all!!

We planned for a smaller guest count (75 max) even before Covid so we had to make the decision on who to invite or not. I didn't invite anyone on my dad's side because I haven't seen or kept in touch with any of them in over a decade. FH didn't invite any of his cousins, just his aunts and uncles and immediate family, mainly because you invite one cousin, you should invite them all (along with their kids), and he has quite a few. Would we have enjoyed having *all* of our extended family with us for our wedding? Sure. But I don't think we will be disappointed without these particular relatives there like we would feel if others weren't. If you're trying to keep your guest list down I would just ask yourself who would you be truly upset about not having there, who have you not seen/spoken to in awhile. Basically whoever you are closer to should be there in my opinion!

View Quoted Comment Great way to put it!!! I think I’d group it by:
1. Who we “need” there, who we would be sad if missed.
2. Who we would like to have if we can3. People we feel obligated to invite and will if there is room lol

With all this CoVid stuff going on, you can use it as a buffer. I’m pretty sure people will understand.
Originally before the pandemic, we planned for a small wedding, under 40 with immediate family and close friends. My husband’s family typically has weddings 100+. Since we are paying for everything we made a decision to not invite extended family members even though they were hinting for invites. I barely want to invite some immediate family members due to personality conflicts even at this point.
Given the current situation, weddings have been downsized to accommodate to having a wedding. It’s been a crazy year!