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Chanieish
Dedicated May 2021

Is it rude to charge wedding party for Airbnb?

Chanieish, on November 21, 2019 at 8:16 AM Posted in Planning 0 15
So I didn’t think much of it until reading some posts on here. I am getting married in Napa and hotels there are super expensive during my wedding date (think $400-$500 a night for a queen bedroom). I went to a wedding where I was a bridesmaid and the bride and groom rented this huge Airbnb for the bridal party + spouses and it was so much fun!!! We all paid a nightly rate.


So I did that as well. I contacted everyone to see if they were interested in sharing and Airbnb for $100/person a night (2 or 3 nights they can decide). Airbnb’s are also expensive in the area esp for larger ones so their $100 per night will cover about half of the rental cost and me and FH will foot the rest. We wanted a nice place for them to stay since most of them are flying in, that was close to the venue.
Is it rude to ask them to pay? I asked them before I even booked and all for them said yes they are down. But now I’m doubting myself. I think it would be so expensive for them to find and stay in a hotel unless they stay 1 hr away. I also can’t afford the $2500 nightly rate on my own.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Catherine, on November 21, 2019 at 1:22 PM
  • Asia
    Savvy November 2021
    Asia ·
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    I don't think it is rude. Weddings are expensive and they are getting a great deal for the Airbnb.

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  • Chanieish
    Dedicated May 2021
    Chanieish ·
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    Thanks Asia! Good to know!
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I think you're fine since you asked ahead of time and everyone agreed to it.
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  • Rhianna
    Devoted April 2020
    Rhianna ·
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    It's not rude at all. You checked with everyone on their interest and their budget prior to and are covering the rest of the cost. It's not like you would cover their hotel if you didn't book the Airbnb, so you're actually helping them out which is very generous.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    If they all need to stay somewhere, and you asked them all in advance, and it is optional for them to stay at the property you've chosen, then I think it's fine. I think there are at least two scenarios where this gets questionable. The first is if wedding party/guests are TOLD they have to stay someplace and pay for it -- if anything is "required" of the wedding party beside their basic wedding attire, the etiquette is that the B&G should pay for it. The second scenario is the one that gets even more questionable in my opinion, it is when the wedding will be held at the Airbnb (or another site like a Bed & Breakfast or whatever), and then the B&G do some version of having guests pay a portion of the costs by charging them for their rooms, which basically means guests are paying at least a portion of the wedding venue fee. For example, if a B&B is the site for the wedding, but requires the B&G to rent out all the rooms for the weekend of the wedding as part of the site fee, and the B&G then "rent those rooms" to their guests. Something similar often happens with destination weddings; the "wedding is free" at the resort/site, if enough guest accommodations are booked at the resort. Sometimes WW users "brag" about what a deal their foreign all-inclusive wedding is going to be -- "free wedding and bridal suite," but it's because their guests are paying tons of money to the resort for accommodations and fees. There is often lots of push-back regarding those arrangements, as it's basically having guests fund the wedding....

    From what you've described, I think you're fine. (However, if someone decides to stay elsewhere, even if you feel like they committed to stay at the Airbnb you arranged, I'd try to take that in stride.) Good luck!

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  • Kelsie
    Devoted March 2020
    Kelsie ·
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    I don't think it is rude especially if this is something you want and you need financial help so it fits in your budget. I think most bridal parties expect some cost along with agreeing to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. My girls are helping pay for the hotel room that we are sharing the night before the wedding. Asking them wasn't difficult because they aren't breaking the bank with the dresses so I feel a little more free to ask them to help with other things.

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  • Chanieish
    Dedicated May 2021
    Chanieish ·
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    Thank you everyone! I definitely feel better. They are not obligated to stay in the Airbnb at all but since they confirmed that they wanted to and agreed to the cost even before I booked it I sure hope they aren’t going to cancel/change their mind.


    I am paying for their dresses, hair, makeup, jewerly, shoes and all their meals while they are there for the 3 day weekend, so I hope it makes the price easier for them to deal with. Smiley smile
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  • Sarahphillips
    Dedicated June 2021
    Sarahphillips ·
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    I am renting an Airbnb for our family and bridal party. We basically split it to where everyone pay equal amounts. My fiancé and I are helping out those that can’t afford it but we are also stocking the place with food and snacks for everyone. It’s a once in a lifetime trip for some of them to go to Hawaii so we tried to find a place that would make everyone feel comfortable.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I think it’s fine. You asked first and everyone agreed. They would have had to pay to stay somewhere anyway and this sounds like the more economical choice for everyone.
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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    I don't think that's rude at all. It will save your bridal party money in the long run b/c they'd pay so much more than that for a hotel on their own.

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    You spoke with them ahead of time, and they’re on board and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t let this site make you question yourself over every part of planning, you’ll drive yourself crazy!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    MOB So Cal makes several excellent points. 👏
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  • M
    Expert September 2020
    Marcia ·
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    I think it’s a great idea. Ultimately they would end up spending a lot more for individual hotel rooms anyway.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Since you asked ahead of time to see if anyone was interested and able, it sounds fine

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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
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    No i don't think so! my bridal party paid for their own without even questioning it. they actually made their own plans for accommodations.

    perhaps you could offer the air bnb first? tell them youd like to all stay together and this is how much it would cost everyone.. then go from there.

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