Is it really that big a deal? Seating Issues...

There is such a thing as a "mingling" or "meet and greet" reception which encourages people to do less sitting and more walking, but I think it might be too much to make people stand/walk for both the ceremony and reception. Like you said, you could include a note that seating is limited and priority seating will be given to handicapped/disabled guests. Depending on your contract or deposit, IDK if it's too late to change venues??? Another thought, see if you could possibly rent/find smaller tables that would create more room (if the venue will allow).

Could you have the ceremony in the dining area instead?

@Karen - Thank you for this!! I will definitely look into a "mingling" ceremony... I think maybe that might be an option I hadn't thought about!

@MRSC2B16 - The reception is seated. I cannot imagine having a stand up reception! I'm really just hung up on the ceremony... but honestly I'm just in freak-out mode right now... There are much worse that can happen, I just need to get my head straight

So honestly, yea it is kind of rude. But it is also a fait accompli - very little can be done. As others have said, make sure you reserve seating, notify people, and are on time.

If I were you, I would be asking the venue for some kind of discount or something to compensate for the fact that they were, essentially, completely deceptive with you. When anyone in their right mind asks how many people a ceremony venue can hold, it is completely implied and reasonable to assume that they mean seated! I would put in a firm call or letter to the venue and express my dissatisfaction that they weren't more up front with this. I would also include this in my final review of the venue since they were quite deceptive.

I am in a similar situation with my venue, also did not think it would be a big deal until I came on WW. I ran it by a few close family members and BP members, and no one seemed to think it would be an issue. Beach weddings are frequently standing.

We will be reserving seats for elderly and immediate family. I mention it on my website and will have a chalkboard sign to avoid confusion and delays.

We are also opening the bar (beer & wine only) before the ceremony, and there will be seating outside so that guests do not have to stand around for an hour between waiting and the actual ceremony.

I think there are things you can do to make your guests comfortable, I honestly do not think anyone will be super offended.

I would definitely warn guests ahead of time. While it's not always enjoyable to stand while eating, we've all done it and know its awkward. Hopefully you're not serving steak where people will need a fork & knife. On the flip side, if there seriously is no sitting, I would probably leave your wedding early and you should expect your guests to do that.

Just for fun, another wedding pic. I promise it was completely okay for a short and sweet ceremony.

Oh my gosh, I completely read your OP too quickly and didn't get it. I thought you were saying the WHOLE wedding people would have to stand. For the ceremony, as long as you tell people in advance and can seat those who need it, I don't see a major issue with it.

Second Rebecca's suggestion - can you hold the ceremony in the dining area?

Holding the ceremony in the dining area is equally as difficult because the restaurant is shaped like an "L" meaning even the "open" space isn't as large and there are two large support poles which further restrict the openness of the space. Unfortunately that's just how heritage buildings are, the spaces are much smaller or not as open. So far we have cut the list down to the high 50's because i have decided to only invite some of the extended extended family to the reception only (they are Hong Kong Chinese so they won't mind because traditionally it is normal to be invited to "banquet only" if you aren't close fam). Hopefully at this rate I will be able to seat the 55 and only have a handful of people who don't mind, standing... I'll keep you guys posted! Thanks everyone!!

A different variation of that happened to me. We were told (and it even states on our paperwork) that the ceremony space holds 200 seated. We went in for our first set up related meeting and the owner was like, "You have how many people?! That's going to be tight!" Uh, you said you accommodate this. What the hell do you mean? Ugh. I'm so sorry, but to answer your question, I don't think it would be so bad. Just have seats for the elderly or injured and make it quick for everybody else. I agree with @Reggie, too. I'm short, so depending on who gets in front of me, I'd be screwed. lol

Is it possible to go to the venue and mess around with the chairs? Maybe the chairs can be arranged in such a way that you can fit more? Or possibly renting a different type of chair that will fit.

If you really can't accommodate your guest list, I wouldn't split it up. Cousin Patty will wonder why Aunt Doris gets to sit but she doesnt. But of course provide very elderly guests with a place to sit. This is a tough situation and I'm not sure what the best solution is but I know standing at a wedding is no fun.

Try renting benches. You might be able to increase your butt to seat ratio in a smaller space!

You could also have the benches line the walls on the outside to give people space to sit that way.

I think you need to have some seats for people who physically can't stand that long. I have never been to a standing ceremony but I have heard of them. I agree people will arrive early and will end up standing for longer. I would have the reception area and bar open for people to wait in when they arrive and then have everyone ushered into the area right before its time to start to minimize waiting around. Would you consider having the ceremony with just with your immediate family and then inviting everyone to the reception?

I don't think this is the biggest faux pas, as long as you keep the ceremony short. I've been to one wedding ceremony where there were only a few chairs for VIPs. I knew in advance because the bride told me, but I don't think it was publicized in any way other than that. If they wanted an outdoor ceremony with an ocean view, that's what they had to do. It was a Jewish ceremony so it wasn't particularly short. It didn't seem like people minded. (And I found out later on WW that ceremonies in Israel are usually standing, the poster said it feels more intimate to be surrounded by a circle of family.)

My venue has a capacity of 140 seated or 160 "VIP Seated" in the ceremony room. So it isn't really that uncommon. I'm actually avoiding inviting any more people because I don't want to make people stand, though. Luckily our large bridal party will be standing anyway, but it's definitely something that I'll be thinking about as we send out invitations and receive responses.

Honestly? It could be a big deal for me. I have an invisible disability. Some days I'm fine and could easily stand for 20 minutes; other days I would be in agony. Very few of my casual friends are aware of the situation, so you may have people coming with similar problems that you don't know about.

It seems like it can't be helped at this point, but please do let people know. If I was having a low day and I arrived at a wedding to find that I had to stand for 20 minutes (and it would be longer than that since I would arrive early on a low day in order to slowly walk to the site and get a good seat) I would probably have to leave. I would be really disappointed and embarrassed by that.

I would do a small private ceremony and then open it up for the reception. People will understand a private ceremony (think immediate family and maybe your best friends), then everyone would be welcome to the reception.

Looking at the ceremony area though... I mean... Even I can tell 100 can't fit there. I'd be pissed at the venue and I would have reviews everywhere after the wedding. This isn't their first rodeo and they should have told you.

@AlexisMO82 yeah and today I looked at the contract wording:

"Brix can accommodate events up to 95 guests for a sit down dinner and up to 120 for cocktail type reception. The courtyard is ideally suited for a ceremony of not more than 100 guests"

Then it goes on to say in the FAQ:

"How many people can a courtyard ceremony seat?

The courtyard is not a large space so seating ultimately depends on the final size of your group. Using our chairs, the maximum number of seats we have is 35"

But like I said earlier, their chairs were wide and bulky and other photos clearly depicted people renting foldable chairs that are much smaller. I just didn't realize that even rental chairs have a 55 seat capacity with NO standing room. Maybe I'm not good with spacing, but visiting the venue in person I honestly felt that you could seat 50 and have perhaps 20 standing, but I guess not....

Honestly I would have everyone stand except family and those with a disability.