Is It Okay To Keep Secrets From Your Partner?

No it's not. I've always been upfront. It keeps arguments down and a relationship is about trust. If your keeping secrets, I can't trust you.

I mean it depends on the secret (something that can land you both in hot water, illegal activity, or is straight up cheating you really need to tell). They are your partner so important things are necessary to share.

Then again it's also totally fine to be your own person. Just because you're married doesn't mean you need to meld into one person. I keep a separate bank account from my husband. He has his own bank account. We have a shared account for our shared expenses. We have our own hobbies, separate vacations, and our separate struggles we work out. He doesn't need to know every detail of my life and I don't need to know every detail of his.

Not ok. We have a joint account and separate accounts in case we want to surprise each other with gifts, but to keep secrets feels like its not an honest relationship

We tell each things especially if we have conversations about life. he ask me questions about different topics and I tell him and vice versa. We do have discussions about our past, money, bank accounts etc. We often discuss how things are going to be. Sometimes there is an answer right away sometimes we have to wait and see. I have learn to be more open to alot of things. It depends of the relationship. We have a joint account and a separate account and it works for us. Do what is best for you and your future husband.

I guess I'm just having a hard time imagining what I would keep a secret? Or what would be worth it? I just can't imagine anything being important enough to keep.

View Quoted Comment I think it's important to put as much as you can out on the table to make sure your partner can accept you for you before marriage.

View Quoted Comment I think it's unnatural to share every single detail of your life because it's just too much to keep track of.

View Quoted Comment I agree that keeping secrests seems like your being dishonest.

View Quoted Comment I've been with my husband for 7 years and I feel like I'm still learning tiny details about him and his life before me.

View Quoted Comment My husband and I really value transparency in our marriage so we have definitely talked about all the big, important things.

We will always continue to learn about each other no matter how long you have been in a relationship. It is a process that keeps the relationship going and having that bond. Honesty and communication and learning is what the relationship is about.

I mean... if you secretly broke your diet and had a chocolate covered cherry, I don't think you need to share that unless it weighs on you. But if it's something that would upset them if you didn't tell them, you should absolutely tell them. If you're being /dishonest/ then you need to fix your relationship.

We have separate bank account but no secrets.

No, lying by omission has been an issue in our relationship until we saw a counselor and read his book which really opened our eyes to having a strong couple bubble. To get used to it, we did a daily exercise where we just randomly asked, "what are you thinking about?" The person who was asked had to answer immediately and honestly.
You don't get to decide what is and isn't important for your spouse to know. That's how misunderstandings happen.
If you're not fully honest with your partner, you're lying to them. And lying was never a strong foundation to any marriage.

Some secrets are ok. I don't need to know everything. She talks to her aunt A LOT and I don't pry. She has FB, I don't. I don't need to know where she is every minute. We try to be truthful and honest with each other. If we make big mistakes we talk about them. There could be more one of us is hiding but I'm not going to live life being paranoid. And some secrets need deep thought or reflection before talking about.

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Thanks for sharing.

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I agree that if your secret with impact your partner then you should tell them.

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Do you think it's okay to keep secrets?

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I really like that practice, I'm going to try that with my husband.

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What kinds of secrets do you think require deep thought and reflection before being shared?