Is it okay to have an Engagement party & Stock The Bar party?

Well you don’t throw yourself a party for people to bring things for you- that’s tacky no matter what other parties you’ve had.

Yes. Very tacky.

You don't need an excuse to have people together "one last time" before the wedding. Just have a bbq without any gift giving.

Have you or are you also having showers and expecting gifts at the wedding? If so, a stock the bar party seems to be going overboard in the gift expectation category.

I think it's tacky to throw yourselves either or both of these parties. Did someone else offer to host a shower for you?

Parties should be hosted by someone other than you... also a stock the bar is very tacky. You probably shouldn't ask guests to bring alcohol to a party just so they can drink said alcohol later on at another party..

A stock the bar party is meant to take the place of a housewarming party. It’s not meant to stock the bar for a wedding or party.

Are you planning on doing signature cocktails? We are thinking of doing two and beer and wine to cut down on the price of alcohol. We spoke to our venue and day of coordinator today and she said to plan half people drink wine and half the people drink beer (or adjust as we know our guests) and the signature cocktail is extra drink on top of that.

Yes this is tacky.

Is this as a bridal or couples shower? I think if it’s for that then that’s ok... stock the bar for your home together. if it’s in addition to a bridal shower then yes that’s too much.

Like pps have said a stock the bar shower is usually thrown for you.

Yes. Tacky.

Let me be clear- (because some peoples answers are making me think this was taken the wrong way) we would not be throwing this for ourselves... obviously. My future MIL has been saying she wanted to throw something for us when she got back to the country before the wedding (as my family threw the Engagement party) and I didn't want to have another "engagement" party because I feel like two of those would be ridiculous. So the only other thing I could think of was a STB gathering - it obv. couldn't be a bridal shower since it's my MIL hosting it & it would be a mix of my FH & our mutual friends/family. As far as the alcohol for the "stock the bar" this wouldn't be supplying our wedding... we're already supplying the alcohol for the wedding.

So maybe I'm misunderstanding the whole STB thing. Are "stock the bar's" only for stocking like the wedding bar? Because we had a friend who did one for their home so didn't realize it was specifically for stocking the actual day of wedding...?

Thanks for the opinions! If yall have suggestions of other "party/gatherings" that people throw for pre-weddings (not engagement parties) then please let me know!

Honestly, I would find it odd to be invited to any type of engagement celebration if you've been engaged already for a year, especially one requiring me to bring a gift. We had our friend offer to throw us an engagement party but it was like within 2 months of getting engaged.

If your MIL wants to throw a party, sure whatever. But don't make it a gift giving event.

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It could still be a shower. Showers don't have to be thrown by a specific person or attended by specific people. FMIL is throwing FH and I a couple's shower because he lives in a different state and the people invited from his hometown can't make the shower my mom is throwing.

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An "I Do" BBQ would allow people to get together and have fun, without it being a gift-giving event!

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^This is what I was thinking...I couldn't tell if that's what she meant, for it to be for the wedding?

Don't ask people to provide alcohol for your wedding, whether it's in the form of a party or not...just please don't.

Ok sorry just read the update above - yes it's ok if it's thrown for you by someone else, and if she wants to suggest it as a "stock the bar" for your home, she can do so. Why not make it into a "couples' shower" BBQ instead?

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Thanks Summer, Casey, & Kristina! I honestly didn't even think about doing a BBQ get together! I really like that idea though because my FH and I LOOOOVE grilling out. Thank you for the idea/suggestion.

View Quoted Comment We had a co-Ed baby shower BBQ for my cousin and it was so fun! I’ve even seen people do this in addition to their regular shower if 2 different people are hosting, which I didn’t see a problem with, if you don’t want to give up your regular shower.