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Dedicated February 2021

Is it okay to change our rsvp date?

Future Mrs. T, on June 30, 2020 at 10:32 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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My fiancé and I are still trying to decide whether we should postpone our 10/10 wedding. I ordered our invitations before things started shutting down and therefore have our original RSVP date of 9/3. If we continue with our original date I would need to let the venue know the head count a month before our date which is why I chose 9/3.

I wanted to include a slip in our invitations informing our guests that we are monitoring the situation as things start to reopen and will send change the dates if we do postpone and of course updating our wedding website.
We’ll make the call on postponing in August so I was wondering should I move up our RSVP date to 8/17 on the slip I’m including just to see where my guests’ stand and we can start making the arrangements to postpone as planned in August rather than waiting until Sept.
I’m trying to just have a plan B and use it if we need it instead of scrambling when the time comes. Thank you!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Lynnie, on July 2, 2020 at 12:36 PM

Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 30, 2020 at 11:08 AM
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I think you can keep 9/3. Guests will give you their reply before that date. Then as it gets closer to 9/3, you can contact those who have not responded. However, I think the real question is… Are you deciding to postpone based on a smaller guest count and that’s why you’d rather know by 8/17? Or will you still move forward even if you have fewer guests? If you will, then 9/3 still works.
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Dedicated February 2021
Future Mrs. T · on June 30, 2020 at 11:13 AM
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Part of it is yes. If I knew that a majority wouldn’t be comfortable coming, I can start my postponing plans. I’m also worried that the date we were thinking if postponing to won’t be available if we wait too long
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on June 30, 2020 at 11:30 AM
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I agree to leave it as is. You will have the majority of your answers early on.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on June 30, 2020 at 11:43 AM
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I understand why you'd want to get a read on your guests' thinking about whether they'll attend or not, but I'd be concerned that even if you move the RSVP date up, depending on how things are going in your location, as the actual date gets closer you may well have a number of people change their minds and/or there might be new gov't rules you have to abide by. The situation is just so fluid right now, it's hard to know from one day to the next what the rules/recommendations/expectations will be. Are you in So Cal? Depending on your guest list size, how important it is to you to have a "normal" wedding (e.g., not too many restrictions), and the general attitude/concerns of your guests, you probably have a pretty good idea in your gut about whether you should postpone or not. Less than three weeks ago things seemed good to do a quick flight to go visit close family (basically sheltering at home with them once we get there) and we booked a trip, but now both our location and theirs are "hot zones" with more and more restrictions. (We kind of expect their location to shut down any day now....) The odds are increasing daily that we'll have to postpone/reschedule. In hindsight, we wouldn't have scheduled the trip; it looks like things are just going to be crazy and unpredictable for a while yet. I'm so sorry! Anyway, if you're moving ahead, I'd leave your 9/3 RSVP date because people aren't really going to know if they'll come or not until pretty last minute anyway. If you're struggling to make a decision about postponing, I'd probably call a sample of VIPs and have some very honest conversations. With that input you might have an easier time making a decision about postponing. Good luck!
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 30, 2020 at 4:02 PM
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I understand. A few weeks ago we postponed our 10/10/20 wedding to October 2021. With COVID and all of the postponements, I was also concerned about a new date being available. We have a soft hold on 10/2/21 but last night I was speaking with FH about moving it to 10/30/21 instead and having themed costume parties for our anniversaries (since the date is near Halloween). LOL!!! Unfortunately, covid is screwing with our normal yearly activities because we’re the couple who usually throws 3-4 big parties per year. So FH was totally open to the date and anniversary parties. At this point, we’re just having fun with it because the world is so crazy right now.
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Devoted September 2020
Queen Cone · on July 2, 2020 at 7:02 AM
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Id take an informal poll first, ask around whos still planning to come
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on July 2, 2020 at 12:36 PM
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I agree with MOB So Cal! The more you move your RSVP date up, the less reliable the answers will be!
I also think it's safe to assume that people will be even worse than usual in returning RSVPs late, because they're trying to get as clear of an idea as possible of how safe things will be! I'd stick with your current RSVP date for now, but it's definitely wise to include a note that you're monitoring the Covid-19 situation!
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