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Grace
Just Said Yes August 2019

Is it okay for someone to wear a red formal Dress to your wedding?

Grace, on June 9, 2019 at 4:28 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 17
Hello!
So im in a little bit of a dilemma. I recently found out my future brother in laws recent gf and daughter will be wearing RED to my wedding. She chose the dress i specifically said she couldn’t wear because my bridesmaids are not wearing a formal floor length gown. (Mind you it has Lace and so does my dress) she hasn’t met my fiancé’s side of the family and I’m thinking it she’s doing it for attention and to stand out so they can notice her. My mom went to as far as saying that if she showed up in red that she would throw her out of the wedding. YIKES! I’m very very confused as to why someone would want to even wear a dress with a train, knowing the bride is the one that should be the only one wearing a train, unless otherwise noted. It’s a summer wedding at a golf course and my colors are blush, navy blue and gold. Where does red come from? Is it okay for someone to do that? To want to upstage the bride like that?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Rosalie, on December 5, 2022 at 8:10 PM
  • Mikayla
    Savvy October 2019
    Mikayla ·
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    I think it's kind of rude honestly..
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Ok I’m a little confused.. why is it bad to wear red?? Is there a rule I don’t know?? My dress is going to be red so I will definitely say no “RED attire”... but your dress is white?? Sorry, I’m confused as to why she can’t wear red...
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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Nothing you can do. She’ll look like a fool if she does, and everyone’s going to have all eyes on you and your husband anyway! Don’t stress
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    It’s annoying for sure that she’s wearing a formal dress to a semi-formal event, but is this really worth the stress? I don’t understand why the color matters, as I’ve never heard of someone not being allowed to wear red to a wedding and I’ve seen red as a color on guests at lots of weddings before. I just wouldn’t pay any attention to her. Also, as rude or annoying as it is for her to do this, it would be equally rude for your mother or anyone else who doesn’t know her to say anything to her about her attire.
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  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
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    A little weird she’s choosing to wear floor length formal to a wedding that’s not black tie, but I don’t get why red is such a big deal. Why do you mention your wedding colors as though she has to match those? When I go a wedding, I never think to ask the bride what the colors are so I can make sure I don’t deviate from them. Red is a really popular and flattering color on people and I see it on wedding guests all the time, I don’t get why she can’t wear it.
    Stop worrying about her “upstaging the bride.” She is not going to upstage you, everyone coming knows who you are and will be paying attention to you all night. If anything, she’ll just look silly for being too formal.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    100% this.

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  • Haley
    Dedicated April 2020
    Haley ·
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    I'm a little confused here too. Is the color red a cultural insult or something? Why exactly do you not like red? Also can guest not wear floor length dresses because the bridal party isn't?

    I would tell your photographer to try and avoid getting her in the photos. Also try to seat her away from the front of the reception so less people will notice her.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    This. Unless you’re wearing red, I’m not sure what the issue is.

    But I do think a formal dress with a TRAIN is ridiculous and hope she gets some weird looks. Love the idea of minimizing her visibility & photo opps.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    A formal dress with a train is kind of ridiculous if it's not a formal event. Are you upset with the red because it's super eye catching? Red can be a color that pops out a lottt so it would make her especially stand out
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  • Yasmine
    Dedicated November 2019
    Yasmine ·
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    I mean formal dress with train is odd but whatever. No one will care except thinking it's odd.
    But why is red bad?? I don't understand. Maybe this is cultural but I don't think that there's a color guests aren't supposed to wear except white
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  • N
    Beginner July 2019
    Nicole ·
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    I was also confused about the red part. Today, at my bridal shower, someone mentioned to me about wearing red and if I would be offended. I was confused about the statement. I know White should not be worn but I didn’t know about red. So after reading this post, I looked it up and this is what it said for everyone who is wondering the same:

    MISTAKE #2: WEARING REDThe truth is that there's really nothing wrong with wearing a red dress to a wedding. The real underlying issue with red is that it draws the eye, BIG time. And if there is only one bright red dress among a sea of pastel shades, it will stand out like a sore thumb on the group photos. To avoid stealing the show, I'd suggest avoiding red all together. Especially if the dress color could be described as "fire engine red." Bright red is just too loud and distracting. Deep cranberry is a good alternative.


    So I guess red tends to draw the attention to the person wearing it. So I understand why you would be upset. I actually had something like this just happen (only it was a white dress). She showed me the dress and I just politely told her that I loved the dress and it was beautiful but i think it was wrong for this event. I then asked her if there were any other dresses she liked and that I would be more than happy to look at any dresses with her to find the perfect one. That seemed to work for me. I don’t know your situation well with the girl you’re talking about but hopefully that helps!!
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    It kind of sounds like she's trying to draw attention to herself, especially if you've already told her not to wear a dress like that. I can't imagine wearing something more formal and dressy than the bridal party and something as eye catching as what the bride would wear. I don't necessarily see the issue with the red, but I guess it depends on how bright it is. If you're worried about it clashing or stealing the spotlight, you can also express to your photographer to try to avoid having her in pictures. Other than that, there's not much you can do besides uninvited her

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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    I think a formal dress with a train is strange but nothing wrong with a red dress. Don’t have your mom kick her out your brother may go with her ruining a family over a dress seem silly.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    What are you wearing, floor length with train? What is the groom wearing, tux, suit, Blazer and chinos? Other men?
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  • Sandy Yoga
    Dedicated January 2007
    Sandy Yoga ·
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    You can’t tell people what they can and cannot wear. If this were me, that’d be the exact reason I’d wear it. If it’s too formal, she’ll look silly. It won’t take attention from you. As for red, my mother’s favourite colour is red. She wore a bright red dress to walk me down the aisle. I would have never expected her to wear anything else.
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  • Virginia
    Super June 2021
    Virginia ·
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    My mom is wearing red to the wedding. I really don't care. She could wear white if she wants to.

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  • Rosalie
    Dedicated July 2023
    Rosalie ·
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    Why is it bad to wear red? I've never heard of that. I know that some asian brides wear red, but unless the bride is wearing red, it shouldn't be a limitation. Red is a fine color to wear to a wedding, I've worn red to a wedding. And it's fine to wear a train to a wedding, maybe not a casual wedding, but for a more formal wedding, trains are fine. Unless it's the same style and color as your dress, then its unlikely that she'll be mistaken for the bride. Let her wear the dress, and if it does upstage you, she'll look silly, not you.

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