Is it ok to let my ex attend the wedding?

It’s weird, I don’t think ex’s have a place at a wedding. I’d be weirded out if my fiancé wanted to invite any of his exes to the wedding and I’m sure he would feel the same if I wanted to invite my exes. definitely respect your fiancé’s feelings

Since it's clear that your fiance is uncomfortable with it, I would ask your friend if he can pick a different plus one. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with an ex being at a wedding if they are legitimately a friend. However, it doesn't sound like he's that close of a friend and your future spouse will be uncomfortable. Given these two points, I'd say no.

I say no. The fact that he even hesitated should tell you not to.

Yeah, it’s not too much to ask that your friend choose someone else as his plus one.
I know there are people who would be fine with it, but unless you guys socialize together intentionally, it’s totally understandable to make this a no.

An ex is an ex for a reason, regardless. It was disrespectful of you to even ask that of your fiance. You even pointed out how you'd feel uncomfortable with the roles reversed. I would never have an ex at our wedding and would be very upset with my groom if he suggested inviting an ex. You're about to start a new life as husband and wife. Don't add unnecessary drama to it by inviting your ex.

Yes, tell your friend no. Don’t make your fiancé be the bad guy here. I don’t think he’s fine with it if it wasn’t an automatic yes.

I don’t think he should go. And if your FH has to think about it, then it shows that there’s some hesitancy and feels uncomfortable. Have him choose a different plus one

I don’t think it was any issue to have asked, but I would take his hesitation and need for thought as your answer— he’s not immediately comfortable with it. Even if he comes around, he shouldn’t have to come around to it, it’s his wedding and he should be happy with every guest. If it’s not an immediate yes no problem, I’d drop it and tell the guy no.


Note that I say this as someone who got married with my husband’s ex in attendance. They’re still friends and have been for a long time and their relationship was many years ago. I’ve now known her for a long time and am not uncomfortable with their friendship, so of course she was included in our guestlist. But, it was never a hesitation for me. What I mean to say is I have no problem with the general concept of an ex at the wedding, just that if your fiancé’s answer was anything other than a “yeah no problem” it’s enough of an issue that I’d skip it.

I agree with the prior posters on this one! The fact that your FH hesitated means you should ask the friend to bring a different plus one.

None of my ex's or my husband's ex's would ever be invited to our wedding lol. There's no bad blood between any of us, I just don't see the need for any of them to be there. We're cordial but that's about it, we don't hang out with any of them. It would be an easy no for me.

Most of the time you break up with people with no bad feelings, and there is no reason not to be civil, friends again over time. This is particularly true in small friend circles where people date several over tine. We each had old boyfriends or girlfriends.

I would say no. He obviously doesn’t feel comfortable. Even if you guys have the same friends as an ex I wouldn’t even be comfortable going. That’s just weird.

"I know I would feel weird about my fiancé’s ex being a plus one at our wedding."

There is your answer.

If you know you wouldn't appreciate it if roles were reversed, then it shouldn't even be a question.

Agree with the others. No point in making your FH uncomfortable on your big day!

I completely agree with what previous posters have stated.


What stood out to me was:1. Your fiancé said he has to think about it. He’s clearly not comfortable with the idea.2. YOU would feel weird if your fiancé’s ex was a plus one at your wedding. It wouldn’t be fair to let your fiancé feel weird then!
I would tell your friend no.