Jiamin
Savvy August 2020

Is it ok to have guests sit in different rooms for dinner? (rooms are connected though)

Jiamin, on November 19, 2019 at 4:09 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 25
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We have only one concern of our favorite venue. (We haven't decided it yet). I'm not sure if it's a major problem and should definitely kill it because of the problem or we can accept it and/or find a way around. The venue is right next to the lake, with beautiful grass. When the weather is good, we have a nice dinner outside under the sunset and there are defnitely enough space to setup the table outside. The food, the price, the flexibility of the venue are all very good.

However, when the weather is not good, we probably need to seat everyone inside. There isn't a hall to place everyone. Three rooms look like this.

Is it ok to have guests sit in different rooms for dinner? (rooms are connected though) 1


The right most room is 7 m*6 m, enough space for 40 seats. The couple and our parents will probably be there.

The long corridor in the middle has enough space for 25-ish seats

The left most room has space for 16 people.


In reality it looks like this (looking from the end of the right most room. Behind the wall of the chockboard there is the left most room)

Is it ok to have guests sit in different rooms for dinner? (rooms are connected though) 2

The restaurant has a work-around to this problem. (They don't really think there is a problem and they don't call it work-around. But to me this is a work-around solution) Of course, people can still freely walk around during the dinner. The restaurant offers something really nice and special called "flying dinner". Basically it means small portions of food are served periodically together with the forks. This makes it possible for people to move to another place and still get food/fork and eat there. Because it's small portion, for each course, people can have it once, twice or even more if they want to.

But I still cannot have a clear picture of what will happen. Maybe I am just too narrow minded. It looks to me that there cannot be any speech/toast between the courses. Everyone would just enjoy their dinner at their seats with their old friends. They will be a lot more movable. We (bride and groom) would probably also move around and to say hi and thank you to everyone. Ok, this seems fine but no speech/toast at the dinner, emm, isn't that necessary? Isn't the toast what the wedding all about? Maybe we do the toasts before everyone is seated? and afterwards when everyone is in the party hall? There is a nice big hall for party for dancing, but not big enough for catering 60~70 people.

So this is the problem, even if only it only happens in bad weather. I want some suggestions. Do you think it's a big problem, "no, no, no" just because of this inside seating problem or you guys think "flying dinner" sounds like a good idea and this kind of room plan is ok? Thanks!



25 Comments

  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    I think it would be hard to get people to dance if they can't see the dancefloor where they're sitting. And everyone would just have to stand to watch the first dance? I think this could result in people being bored since interaction isn't as open.
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  • R
    Devoted September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    I personally am not buying this ‘flying dinner’ thing they’re proposing. when i get dressed up for a wedding I want a real meal, not little bites and seat swapping.
    If toasts are important to you, how do you feel about gathering everyone around for a grand entrance and then immediately doing toast after that and before people are seated? Perhaps toward the end of cocktail hour your venue staff can pass out champagne or beer/wine and let people know the grand entrance and toasts are coming with dinner to follow.
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  • Morgan
    Savvy August 2020
    Morgan ·
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    My guest we will eating inside and how outside. But once everyone is done eating we will rearrange the tables on the inside so everyone can dance and sit inside or if they would like to be outside they can
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  • Alejandra
    Expert November 2020
    Alejandra ·
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    Separate rooms is one of the reasons we didn’t go with one of the venues we liked. To me it seems kinda mean to have people in different rooms. The bride and groom can only be in so many places at once. I would avoid this if possible, but that’s just what we did.
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  • A
    Devoted May 2020
    Alex ·
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    I went to a wedding that had seating in different rooms. The only thing they had to do differently was the toast, cake cutting, and first dance. They did toast during cocktail hour. Then we all had dinner in 3 or 4 rooms I think. Then after dinner was complete finished, they called everyone to the room the dance floor was in, they cut the cake, and had their first dance. It worked out well.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    To me, different rooms seem awkward for a wedding. I feel that everyone should be sitting in the same room together to make sure nobody feels left out!

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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks for the reply! There is another room (or call it Hall because it's really big) for dancing and partying after the dinner. After dinner guests can all go there (basically right next door) for toasts, cake cutting and dance. So this is a valid work around.

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  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    Is there a place for them to sit there though? If there aren't enough chairs for everyone I would think people may stay at their tables.
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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks!! That is probably exactly what we should expect if we choose this place.

    Toasts during cocktail times, dinner is just dinner, then everyone moves to the big dance room for a bit more toasts, cake cutting and dance. Thanks for your describing!


    By the way, most of the guests are standing in the dance floor room while watching the toasts, cake-cutting and dancing?

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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Ah, good point. the hall/room looks like this. Of course it will be transferred into a dancing floor.

    Some lounge and sofa can be put there as well to watch the dance and to chat. But for sure not enough seats for everyone. (otherwise we can probably have the dinner in this room. )


    Is it ok to have guests sit in different rooms for dinner? (rooms are connected though) 3


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  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    The only way I could see the reception being lively is if you have very outgoing people coming to the wedding. If a lot of people are the type that need a little nudge or to see a group of people already dancing to get on the dancefloor then I think they'd be more likely to stay at their tables. I think it's also a little less comfortable to have everyone stand for all of the special dances and cake cutting. There may be some seats, but if people are sitting they probably won't be able to see past the people standing. I personally would choose a different venue.
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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks. I have doubts about this small portion flying dinner concepts as well. Luckily they can also serve courses.


    We can probably do a toast before dinner (somewhere I'm not sure yet, if the weather is bad.) and another toast after the dinner when everyone is moved to the dance floor next door. followed by cake cutting and first dance.

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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks for the suggestions.


    Basically dancing room (the picture I posted above) is at a completely different location of the dinner place. If the weather is good, dinner is outside. if the weather is bad, dinner is inside. In both case, everyone will be moved to the dancing room, standing. You make a good point, they will be forced to stand while watching the dance or toasts or cake-cutting or anything.


    Emm, so this is a completely different question now. Maybe in most weddings, the dance takes place at the same place of the dinner, so that nobody needs to move?

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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    This also worries me!! Thanks for the reply

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  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    Every wedding I've ever been to has has the dancing and dinner in the same room. The dancefloor is typically in the center or at one end of the room. It's also better to have a dancefloor according to the size of your guest list because too small and everyone can't for, too big and everyone is super spaced out so the pictures won't look as good - it'll look vacant.
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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks for the reply. What does "how outside" mean? I guess it's a typo but I didn't figure it out. In our case, once everyone is done eating, or during the dessert time, we would need everyone to the dance hall and have dance there. Of course they can come back to the dinner table to chat, it just won't be a same place as the dancing hall.

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  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    Cocktail hour is okay to have in a different room though and that is expected to be mostly standing room with just a few chairs and maybe a table or 2.
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  • Morgan
    Savvy August 2020
    Morgan ·
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    No it wasn’t a typo, I’m getting married in August. There is a building where dancing will be, but for dinner there will be people inside and there will be a huge tent outside with tables for people to eat outside as well. Once dinner is done we will move the tables so everyone can come Inside and dance.
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  • Jiamin
    Savvy August 2020
    Jiamin ·
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    Thanks! It does make sense that people have the option to dance or to remain seated and just watch other people dancing.


    As you pointed out, forcing everyone to move to another room after dinner is wired, especially if most of them need to stand there. (maybe having some desserts or drink in their hand is a bit better. but still....). I will probably ask this question separately and collect more experience. Thank you so much!!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would think it's odd as a guest to sit in different room and breaks up the reception experience.

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