Is it ok to have a dessert reception at a black tie event?

View Quoted Comment We are doing a winter wedding as well to try help so people are encouraged to dress warmer
Feb 16th 2020 (hopefully....I guess. Idk I'm already to stressed out)

View Quoted Comment Doesn't formal include cocktail dresses though?

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It ranges from long to cocktail length if I'm not mistaken. So it's less specific on the shorter dresses. However, cocktail length is actually knee length so it sounds like they'd be breaking the dress code anyway.

Yeah, I think your best bet is to bring social pressure to bear on those you're concerned about. If they are family members, is there an older family member/matriarch who can make it clear short/skimpy attire is not appropriate for a wedding? If they are your friends, all you can do is to try and communicate the more formal/sophisticated look you're hoping for. Unfortunately, the bottom line is we can't really control how other adults choose to dress, but I certainly wouldn't put off your wedding or change your plans just because you're concerned about how some people will choose to dress. You should have the wedding you want to, when you want to have it. If people are dressed inappropriately, THEY are the ones who are going to be noticed (and not in a good way). That doesn't reflect on YOU! Good luck!

The problem with what you’re describing is that you think listing a dress code is going to change people and it’s probably not. I doubt these family members own formal gowns, and I doubt they’d go out and spend the money on one for one wedding. You’re potebtially going to run into this no matter what kind of wedding you have.

View Quoted Comment I did not think about getting my grandma involved...she may be able to put a stop to that nonsense.

And yes it's all family members I'm worried about, most of my friends are from work and they all dress up a lot. Plus we have work events that call for cocktail attire at least 3xs a year.

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Great! Enlist grandma to whip them all in to shape with some blunt talk about what's appropriate and what is NOT for a wedding! But, again, if they dress like they're going clubbing, that's on them, not you, so don't let it be your concern. Your friends and co-workers know you and how you present yourself. Their behavior/choices aren't your responsibility!

Dont postpone your wedding because you are worried what people are going to wear. They will wear it now, in dead of winter, or in 5 years.
You could just have a small wedding and not invite them if you care that much.

Agree with all the black tie formality business. However it and white tie are the ONLY dress code you can write on an invite, in very small plain font in the lower corner.

If I were you I'd do cocktail dress code with your apps/dessert and stop worrying about everyone else's attire.