RaylaSan
Expert February 2021

Is it normal for people to not Rsvp?

RaylaSan, on January 11, 2021 at 10:18 PM Posted in Planning 0 14
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So my wedding is literally next month, and only about 1% of my guests have actually RSVPed. Of course, I have taken COVID into account and everything, but is it normal for people to just not RSVP at all? Like, the wedding is in like four weeks, I have had several of my vendors ask me for a head count and I'm stressing out because no one is RSVPing. @_@ What's sad is that the people who are failing to RSVP are all family members, while basically all of the friends my fiancee and I have invited have already given us their answer. The good news is that we've only had a few rejections, but I'm stressed because so many people are just not answering, and my deadline is the last day of January. orz;;;


I'll be sending out RSVP reminders out this week to those that haven't RSVPed yet, since we haven't gotten all of their phone numbers. I am hoping that sending out physical reminders will actually encourage them to at least give me an answer.

14 Comments

Latest activity by Slrhoshi, on January 12, 2021 at 6:56 AM
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    When is your RSVP deadline? We got a few back soon after sending invitations out (pre-covid), but the bulk of them came on and around the RSVP deadline date.
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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    Our RSVP deadline is January 31st, so far we've had a few people RSVP right away, but a huge bulk of people haven't RSVPed. I would guestimate that we have about one-two people RSVP every 2 weeks from the time I sent my invitations back in late November.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    It's very common for a few people..not all..to forget to rsvp. What is your rsvp due date? You spend a day or two after the deadline getting in contact with anyone who did not rsvp. Most of your replies will come in the mail on the deadline date. You do.not contact anyone before that date.


    Your rsvp deadline is at least a week to a week and a half before the caterers need the final headcount. The vendors should not be asking you prior unless you put a wrong date on the RSVP cards.
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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Yeah, they'll most likely all come in at the deadline. I wouldn't send anything out. People have the invitation with the RSVP date on it. You don't need to send them a reminder.
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated January 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    I'd say we had to follow up with most (if not all) of our 50 guests. Most of the ones that did RSVP missed the menu selection. I remember pre COVID seeing the need to follow up at the deadline, but COVID can only be making it worse. Have you made it clear to everyone how many people you're planning to have, what precautions you'll have in place, etc to help them decide whether they're comfortable with it or not?
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated January 2021
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    Oh, also if you have actual RSVP cards and not RSVP on the website like I did, it's possible USPS being slow is part of it. I'm based in Chicago and normal mail easily takes 3 weeks nowadays.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    When you send your reminders, let them know if they have any precaution questions to reach out. After I answered guests questions (example: is it ok if I wear my mask at your wedding? or am I sitting with my household for the reception?) they were much quicker to respond. I also put covid precautions on our website for easy reference guests can read. We sent our invitations 6 weeks before our wedding and I was on the phone daily with guests explaining our precautions.


    In these unusual times, I would call just to ask if you can answer any covid precautions questions they may have. Hope this helps ❤️❤️❤️
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    My wedding was pre pandemic and I still had people not rsvp at all or rsvp super super late
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    I don’t understand why people think this is okay... we had to follow up with 50% of our guests and it’s quite obnoxious. I imagine you’ll have quite a few RSVP last minute to see if covid gets any better. I would just be prepared to remind them as you said and have a very low turnout.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    If your RSVP date is 1/31, guests still have almost three weeks to respond. In "normal" circumstances, lots of people wait until the last minute. I'd guess with current Covid issues and everything else going on, they might be even more inclined to wait as long as possible to make a decision. You set the date at 1/31, so just try to be patient. FWIW, I have a family member who is considering travel in late February and he's holding off making a decision to see if additional regulations are put in place after the inauguration and how Covid numbers look in both locations. He doesn't want to book now and then have to cancel everything; your guests might have a similar thought process.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    People typically wait the very last minute to respond
    • Reply
  • Violetstorme
    Dedicated October 2022
    Violetstorme ·
    • Flag

    Even pre-covid, in our family we generally didn't RSVP to a wedding until as close to the date as possible (giving leeway for if we're mailing back the RSVP vs doing it online) simply because we didn't want something to happen and us not be able to attend. With COVID, we haven't attended any weddings at all due to a lot of our family being high risk individuals. (Correction: We attended one and she was someone I had worked with for several years and was a very dear friend. We wore masks and did our best to social distance the whole time but no on else did which killed us attending any more for a while during the pandemic).

    As for vendors, they usually don't need final headcounts until around 2-2.5 weeks before the wedding, sometimes a little more depending on the vendor you're working with. They should disclose up front if you need to be give them information sooner than that (all the vendors I spoke with pre-postponement were very open about when they needed final information).

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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    I did make sure to include on the wedding website (which is where people RSVP) what COVID guidelines I'll be following very closely, and what I'll be providing, such as masks, gloves, and hand sanitizers. I even made sure to put a note on the RSVP reminder, promising guests that we'll be following COVID guidelines as safely as we can.

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  • Slrhoshi
    Dedicated March 2022
    Slrhoshi ·
    • Flag
    With my sister's wedding I had to hound roughly 30 of her 100 guests and worse part? Some still flaked and the venue minimum was 100 and only roughly 75 showed. It just comes with planning a wedding and it's annoying and stressful.


    I would hold off until the 31st to call or reach out. With how dumb the post office was during December it's possible some haven't arrived yet.
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