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M
Just Said Yes July 2021

Is it mean if i don’t have her in my wedding?

M02021, on January 29, 2020 at 6:16 PM Posted in Planning 0 4
Hi there all,


First of all, I know that this is my wedding and I choose who to have with me on the day... but I’m in a little dilemma.
I met my close friend from college 4 years ago, over the course of our friendship we both would discuss our weddings and etc where one day we both said we would have each other as bridesmaids - I didn’t really take it serious. She just got engaged in October 2019 and I have been ask to be a bridesmaid. We live on other sides of the country now and keep in chat maybe every couple of months. I have just got engaged myself and Im not sure what to do about my own bridal party.
Is it the “kind, decent” thing to do and ask her to be in my wedding because I’m in hers or is it rude to not ask her at all?
I did always just want my sisters but I don’t know if that will be enough for her - I feel she will get offended and make a big deal about having each other in our weddings.
Anyone else ever been in this situation? Any advice?
Thank you xo

4 Comments

Latest activity by Jill, on January 30, 2020 at 10:00 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I've seen plenty of weddings where one is in the wedding party and it's not vice versa. I know it's awkward though for you because you wouldn't want her to feel like she's not close enough to you. But in the end you don't have to have anyone in your party just because. You don't have to reciprocate that.
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    It's not rude if you don't want her in it! I had 6 girls in my bridal party and shortly before I asked them I was asked to be in a different friends wedding party. I didn't have her in mine but it didn't cause any issues for us. Pick the girls you truly want by your side.

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  • A
    Beginner August 2020
    Alexa ·
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    I agree with the previous two replies! Especially if you only want your sisters, that's super understandable.


    As a personal anecdote, one of my closest friends is in my wedding and she opted not to have bridesmaids in hers. This doesn't make me feel less close to her.
    I feel like if your friend really values your friendship, she'll be happy to be at your special day whether she's in the bridal party or not.
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  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
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    I have a friend who is getting married two months before me who is a bridesmaid in my wedding but I am not in hers. I would just explain that you want your sisters and that it is in no way a bad reflection on your friendship with her!

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